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What Adopting a Child from Africa Taught Me about America
American Thinker ^ | 02/07/2014 | By Jonathan Wakefield

Posted on 02/07/2014 7:14:56 AM PST by SeekAndFind

About a year and a half ago, my wife and I flew to Ethiopia and returned to America with our newly adopted son, Amare -- the only black member of our now family of five. We expected his new brothers and extended family, our friends, church, and neighbors to embrace and love him, and they didn't disappoint us. We did not know what to expect, however, from the general American public.

We were optimistic that it would go well, but in our educational sessions about adopting internationally, some focused on the prejudices we would encounter upon our return. We were told to expect inappropriate questions, rude stares, and downright racist comments when in public with our new son. We reviewed fictional scenarios and determined how we would respond when faced with those types of challenging situations.

We prepared ourselves for the worst.

So how have we fared? Well, over the course of the eighteen months Amare has been a black American living in an 80% white family, our grand total of negative incidents is...zero. Not a single one. No rude comments or questions, no judgmental looks -- or even confused ones.

In fact, it's been the opposite. Strangers -- of all races -- have consistently gone out of their way to show us kindness. Any questions or comments have been of genuine support or interest in our family.

It's been phenomenal.

I don't say this to minimize the racial prejudices -- some quite severe -- that do still persist in America. Those are real and need to be called out. I know that other adoptive parents have encountered these issues and that we surely will as well at some point in the future.

But our experience with Amare so far demonstrates just how much America has progressed on this issue

(Excerpt) Read more at americanthinker.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: adoption; africa

1 posted on 02/07/2014 7:14:56 AM PST by SeekAndFind
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To: SeekAndFind

The ugliness will come from American ghetto blacks


2 posted on 02/07/2014 7:23:48 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: SeekAndFind

“a black American living in an 80% white family, our grand total of negative incidents is...zero. Not a single one. No rude comments or questions, no judgmental looks — or even confused ones. “

I married a woman from Mexico. I’ve never heard any racist or negative comment. Interesting how race hustlers and victims are able to find them so easily.


3 posted on 02/07/2014 7:24:17 AM PST by MNDude
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To: SeekAndFind
You're white. You're not sensitive enough to detect racially motivated looks, comments or behavior in other whites.
To you it all appears normal. Any one of color can see the racism clearly.

(I'm not really sure if I should use the /s tag or not.)

4 posted on 02/07/2014 7:24:25 AM PST by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: SeekAndFind

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

If he wanted a black baby why didn’t he adopt an American child ???

There are more black children available for adoption right here in the US than there are white or any other color...

I can understand people feeling they have to go to Russia for a white baby...

but to think they have to go all the way to Ethiopa and spend $1000s more than necessary to adopt a black baby ???

did he even try to adopt an American baby ???


5 posted on 02/07/2014 7:27:20 AM PST by Tennessee Nana
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To: SeekAndFind

We adopted domestically, but otherwise our story is similar. My wife received one glower from an old guy in a grocery story. For all I know, he may have been glowering because our eldest child (also adopted) is Caucasian, and he might have thought that my wife was going from man to man.

She also had two black women in her 30s or so THANKING her (no thanks needed, we LIKE having children!). Both incidents happened in Rockford, which should have as much racial tension as any city by common folklore, given the lawsuits of the past.


6 posted on 02/07/2014 7:29:09 AM PST by Dr. Sivana ("We are not sluts."--Sandra Fluke)
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To: SeekAndFind

On another board a questioner i know to be a leftist asked if anyone noticed than during the SOTU speech, Boehner appeared to be darker than Obama.

I responded that I hadn’t noticed since I’m not a democrat and race and color mean nothing to me. The general response was consistent with the experience this adoptive family has had. It’s the 21st century, only the perpetually aggrieved care about race and color.


7 posted on 02/07/2014 7:29:20 AM PST by muir_redwoods (When I first read it, " Atlas Shrugged" was fiction)
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To: Tennessee Nana
If he wanted a black baby why didn’t he adopt an American child ???

There is a heavy bias, or used to be, among black social workers regarding placing black children in white families. They said the kids would miss out on "the black experience".

8 posted on 02/07/2014 7:32:10 AM PST by Lizavetta
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To: Lizavetta

but its not against the law...

White parents can adopt black children...

Black social workers might try to discourage an adoption but they cant overrule a judge...

Isnt the black baby the Romneys have an American baby ???

I thought I saw somewhere he was born here ???

That was just last year..


9 posted on 02/07/2014 7:35:32 AM PST by Tennessee Nana
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To: Tennessee Nana

“If he wanted a black baby why didn’t he adopt an American child ???”

I recall some years back a white family tried to adopt a black American child and the black “leaders” pitched a fit. They claimed it would rob the child of his blackness. Ultimately the adoption did not go through. I don’t know what became of the orphan child, but I assume he still has his blackness.


10 posted on 02/07/2014 7:36:53 AM PST by bk1000 (A clear conscience is a sure sign of a poor memory)
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To: SeekAndFind

I have four biracial black adopted at birth children. Adopted our first 26 years ago. The white community has been welcoming, a bit too welcoming at times. Nothing like leftist need for blacks in their midst to meet their leftist needs. The black community was very welcoming, but we found it not to be the best place for our family.


11 posted on 02/07/2014 7:45:55 AM PST by Chickensoup (leftist totalitarian fascism is on the move.)
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To: MNDude

My BIL is a Mexican. One of the finest human beings I know. Met his entire family/relatives during the their daughters wedding—nothing but kind words for them. Tradition is strong. When one of their family members enters the house where we were all having the post-wedding party, that individual, FIRST, goes and meets the patriarch/matriarchs, and then on down, all around to each of us, introducing themselves. It was a wonderful and humbling experience.


12 posted on 02/07/2014 7:50:48 AM PST by SgtHooper (If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.)
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To: SeekAndFind

So sorry that there were not any children (white or black) in America that you could have adopted thus saving air fare!
Can you even imagine how a child that lives in this asswads city feels when they learn that this person left the Country to find a child when they were right there.


13 posted on 02/07/2014 8:02:18 AM PST by SECURE AMERICA (Where can I go to sign up for the American Revolution 2014 and the Crusades 2014?)
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To: Tennessee Nana
but to think they have to go all the way to Ethiopa and spend $1000s more than necessary to adopt a black baby ???

My niece tried to adopt an American baby and was totally stonewalled. They had to jump through a lot of hoops to adopt from Ethiopia, at least there were hoops. In the US there were only closed doors, locked!

14 posted on 02/07/2014 8:03:17 AM PST by CMAC51
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To: Tennessee Nana

I know three couples who have adopted from overseas. In every case it was due to the fear that a judge would overturn the adoption of an American child down the road, as has happened.


15 posted on 02/07/2014 8:08:43 AM PST by workerbee (The President of the United States is DOMESTIC ENEMY #1!)
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To: CMAC51

Your niece’s experience mirrors mine from the mid 90s, although we ended up just not adopting any more (we had 2 from the Philippines already).


16 posted on 02/07/2014 8:13:11 AM PST by Mr Rogers (Liberals are like locusts...)
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To: Tennessee Nana
Agree. There are numerous children of all races in the USA wanting a home. It is so much more chic to say I adopted a black baby from Ethiopia than a black baby from Mississippi.
I read this as being done for the ego of the parents not the well being of the child
17 posted on 02/07/2014 8:35:10 AM PST by Kozy (Calling Al Gore)
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To: SECURE AMERICA
So sorry that there were not any children (white or black) in America that you could have adopted thus saving air fare!

Apparently we prefer just killing our unwanted children.

18 posted on 02/07/2014 8:42:47 AM PST by Last Dakotan
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To: Tennessee Nana
but to think they have to go all the way to Ethiopa and spend $1000s more than necessary to adopt a black baby ??? did he even try to adopt an American baby ???

My wife and I looked into this in NYS. We met so much resistance from the Social Services people that you can't imagine. We were told that we would not be culturally aware and could not present the child with the African American awareness that he/she would need to function in society.

19 posted on 02/07/2014 8:55:47 AM PST by verga (Poor spiritual health often leads to poor physical and mental health)
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To: yldstrk

I am a white woman. Thirty-three years ago, while living in the enlightened, prosperous, mostly liberal suburbs of Washington DC, I made friends with a lonely five-year-old black girl. My husband and I had no children yet, though we were trying. This little girl had no mommy, for reasons probably related to the fact that her father was a drug dealer. So she came over to our apartment during the day, and we spent time together doing the kinds of things mothers and daughters do: baking stuff, going for nature walks, reading books, practicing writing, swimming, shopping, planting flowers, talking. It was a golden time.

But when I took her shopping or ran errands with her, we encountered real prejudice. It was ugly. I had no previous experience of such attitudes and could not believe it existed. Both white people and black were full of spitting hostility. The blacks did not express it verbally, though I could see the looks in their eyes. The whites occasionally spoke to me. Their distaste was more open.

The assumption seemed to be either that this was my child by some black man, or that I had adopted her. White people said some very unpleasant things to us. To us, not just to me. The shock of hearing this cruelty toward an innocent child was like a punch in the stomach. It’s impossible for a naive person like me to comprehend.


20 posted on 02/07/2014 9:14:09 AM PST by ottbmare (the OTTB mare, now a proud Marine Mom)
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To: SeekAndFind
Our nephew and his wife (both white) have just adopted their 2nd black child from Ethiopia I think. I don't see them often so I don't know how they have been treated. The older child is fantastic! Smart,polite,athletic, a real treasure. I haven't met the younger one yet.
21 posted on 02/07/2014 9:19:59 AM PST by Ditter
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To: SeekAndFind
So how have we fared? Well, over the course of the eighteen months Amare has been a black American living in an 80% white family, our grand total of negative incidents is...zero.

Good to hear that. They must have not yet had contact with any liberals, who would call them evil for "using" the child that way.

22 posted on 02/07/2014 9:34:57 AM PST by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed & water the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS NOW & FOREVER!)
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To: BitWielder1
*You're white. You're not sensitive enough to detect racially motivated looks, comments or behavior in other whites.
To you it all appears normal. Any one of color can see the racism clearly.
(I'm not really sure if I should use the /s tag or not.)
*

Sounds like a direct quote from Jesse or Al Sharpton.

23 posted on 02/07/2014 9:35:49 AM PST by PATRIOT1876
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To: PATRIOT1876
It could very well be. That's how the race hustlers think.
They see offense where none was intended.
Al and Jesse see racism in daylight and shadows.

24 posted on 02/07/2014 9:41:45 AM PST by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: Dr. Sivana
I'm rarely home in Pocatello since Obama's election wiped out my contracts. While I was home, my wife and I would go out to eat at various restaurants in town. A Caucasian couple with two very young black girls had similar tastes in dining. While I was home for Christmas this year, I saw the mom and two young lades shopping at Fred Meyer's. They are both doing well and significantly older now. There won't be much "black experience" in Pocatello. I would be surprised if we have 50 black people in town...most are recruited football and basketball players at Idaho State.

Congrats on your success adoption experience.

25 posted on 02/07/2014 9:44:30 AM PST by Myrddin
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To: SeekAndFind
I don't say this to minimize the racial prejudices -- some quite severe -- that do still persist in America.

Let's talk about that, shall we?

26 posted on 02/07/2014 9:48:28 AM PST by Altura Ct.
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To: Myrddin

I had to chuckle, because in the last census in our small county (we moved out of Rockford), we would have doubled the statistic, had we provided the information. Since they are not slaves, they are good for 100% representation, so any requests for information other than # of residents in household are not pertinent.


27 posted on 02/07/2014 12:28:25 PM PST by Dr. Sivana ("We are not sluts."--Sandra Fluke)
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