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Our policy on third party or personal fundraising on FR: Don't do it!
February 27, 2014 | Jim Robinson

Posted on 02/27/2014 12:23:42 PM PST by Jim Robinson

Edited on 02/27/2014 12:51:10 PM PST by Jim Robinson. [history]

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To: Vendome

That’s a good idea. Decompress for a while. Don’t drink anything with caffeine, and do some deep breathing. Take a nap if you can. It all helps.


61 posted on 02/27/2014 3:07:00 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: smokingfrog

Mine have long ears and short tails.

Fat pigs...

LOL

Vet says they are perfect weight.

They get walked all the time, have never been left alone more than an hour, played with, discipline practice and generally are reinforced as the good boys they are.

One has learned how to punch me on the leg. I usually have a conversation with them about how I never feed them from the dinner table.

They just look at me like I’m stupid or too retarded to know better and they wait me out...

Thankfully I don’t have cats....


62 posted on 02/27/2014 3:07:44 PM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
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To: trisham

I’m actually thinking that’s what I did yesterday.

I kept telling myself to drink Diet Coke and even stopped off at Starbucks to waste some time and perfectly good money.

A shot of caffeine and a vitamin in the morning are all I’m suppose to have but, I goes crazy sometimes and I’m paying for it today.

I have gone through 4 night guards in the last 14 years to the tune of $00-$500 bucks each time.

I just chew right through them and one I somehow managed to crack.

My Dentist gave me a replacement for that one FREE. He’s awesome and said is warranty. I had it six months.

Probably need another in by 2016.

Yeah! Other than that I’m healthy....

I’m just glad it’s not lightning and thundering like it did last night or I’d be done.


63 posted on 02/27/2014 3:12:32 PM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
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To: Jim Robinson

Roger, wilco


64 posted on 02/27/2014 3:19:16 PM PST by NonValueAdded (Screw the farmers. I can get everything I need at the grocery store.)
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To: The Cajun
just pay separate shipping and handling.

Say, is the guy or gal who thought that up in the marketing hall of fame?

65 posted on 02/27/2014 3:21:34 PM PST by NonValueAdded (Screw the farmers. I can get everything I need at the grocery store.)
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To: Vendome
Caffeine makes me very tense. It also makes me a little crazy. :)

Those night guards are overpriced, but it's better than losing your teeth. Take care, FRiend. :)

66 posted on 02/27/2014 3:22:16 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Jim Robinson

And for goodness sake, quit posting stuff on social media.

Bumper sticker seen recently: Facebook does NOT need to know you went to the gym this morning.


67 posted on 02/27/2014 3:29:01 PM PST by upchuck (South Carolina Representative Trey Gowdy for Speaker of the House!!!)
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To: Pan_Yan

Classic!


68 posted on 02/27/2014 3:29:32 PM PST by Jet Jaguar
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To: NonValueAdded
Say, is the guy or gal who thought that up in the marketing hall of fame?

Yup, right along with the *disclaimer guy* at the end of commercials who rattles stuff out at 4 times normal speed and 1/2 volume :)

69 posted on 02/27/2014 3:31:32 PM PST by The Cajun (Sarah Palin, Mark Levin, Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, Louie Gohmert......Nuff said.)
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To: Jim Robinson

Go policy Jim.

I’m sure you will make an exception for me selling carbon credits. 1/2 off. Today only. Cash only.


70 posted on 02/27/2014 3:31:37 PM PST by Drango (A liberal's compassion is limited only by the size of someone else's wallet.)
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To: Vendome

Luckily, mine is easily satisfied with a few bits of cheese and not money.


71 posted on 02/27/2014 3:38:28 PM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: Jim Robinson

You’re right on this Jim - any other way invites problems...


72 posted on 02/27/2014 3:42:29 PM PST by GOPJ ({David} "Gregory, usually as alert and twitchy as a squirrel, flat-lined." Richard Cohen NYT)
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To: NoCmpromiz; DJ MacWoW

Funny.

I was just talking to my brother about his leaving the armed services.

guess he’s been to Afgahnistan a few times and Iraq the same.

His ship, The Keararge, was the one that was fired on while in Jordan 8 years ago.

He transitioned to the sister ship, the Ashland, which somehow convinced him his twenty years were up.

He said he’d done some things in those crap holes and had fun doing VIP protection.

Here’s the point of my dumb story:
.
For some reason he always felt like the worst time he ever had was when he was 11.

We lived in Lost City, outside Hulbert, which is near Tahlequah and 70 miles East of Tulsa.

Seems some racoons had been raiding a neighbors chicken coop and pulling em clean through, leaving a mess of feathers and taking a chicken.

Well, we had the same experience and he knew what to do.

Unlike my Mom who shot them lil Bass terds with a 270, he knew to use the right tool for the right job.

He took the Marlin 10/22 and his friend went out his .22 in search of coons.

Well, his friend was getting bored and for some reason, his gun was pointed as it should be....kinduh...Down toward the ground but, it was also pointed in the direction of my brother.

So his bored friend pulled the trigger, thinking the thing was on safety.

Guess it wasn’t exactly pointed at the ground.

the .22 went clean through his leg. Totally and completely missed his femur.

I remember walking in on him at the hospital. My other, the comedian, said something funny, we all laughed.

I asked “Well, did you at least kill that coon?”

“Well, no stupid. I got a hole bored in me!” he replied.

“Yeah, your friend told me how he was bored and shot you. Pretty exciting now huh?” I responded.

He called me something or other, we all laughed and I think all of us took turns at making fun of him.

My Mom just kissed him sweetly on the cheek, told him she loved him and everyone’s learned a lesson today.

So he relays this story to me recently and said that was about as scared as he’s ever been in his life.

I called him a liar cuz he’s on his fourth marriage and that can’t possibly be true.

He laughed and informed me he was going to Bahrain. I guess his new wife is still in the service and he’ll get some job outside the service while over there.

It also reminds me that not two days later, my youngest sister, was using the sewing machine, trying to put a zipper on something.

She was messing with the bobbin while running the material through its line.

Gee, I wonder why she ended up stiching her thumb twice and as she pulled back, realizing what she’d done, she pulled back at the perfect time and broke the needle off the machine.

I don’t know why but, my brother and I thought that was hilarious as hell on the one hand and working out a solution for how we going to get that #5 sized needle out of her thumb.

She was scared but, my brother is very quick witted and had her laughing.

Went and told my Mom what happened and asked if there were some pliers in the house.

Just so happened she had a pair in her nightstand....weird.

So she goes to the backroom, lights it up with a butane torch, soaks a clean cloth with alcohol, wipes it down and then pours alcohol all over it.

She says to wait til she gets to the dinning room with the medical kit before I pull it out.

I tell her “I’m not pulling out. Jeff is”.

So I walk into the dinning room and he’s got my sister laughing, while she cries.

She looks at me with those pretty but, sad eyes and says it hurts.

I tell her it’s in head. Can’t hurt til we pull it out.

She went wide eyed and dropped her mouth open.

I rolled my eyes and my brother just laughed and then started cracking jokes.

I walk over and hand the plies to my brother and start talking to my sister, calming her.

I tell her to put her hand on the table. I won’t touch it, I just wanna get a better look.

My brother says something hilarious and I tell she better laugh, that was funny.

She smiles and looks at me. I slap her wrist onto the table, my brother pins her thumb and then swiftly pulled the needle out of her thumb.

So my sister pulls her hand back and grabbing it with a startled look says “I thought it was going to hurt”.

She goes to look at it and blood goes flying up in the air and my Mom says “Wait til I get there before you pull it”

Well, my brother and I look at each other smiling like “Ooops!” looked up to watch the blood spurt in the air and he grabs her hand again and pins it to the dinning room table.

That stuff gets on the carpet and we’re dead.

I grab a roll of paper towels and just reel em off, applying pressure to her thumb and wiping up the mess simultaneously.

She can truly say she was once laughing so hard, she was in stitches.

I truly believe life could be worse.

I’m a single man.

What if I were pregnant and living in Somalia?

S not so bad when you look at things in that perspective...

and the vitamins I took are easing the headache.

might be time to finish thing with a shot of Motrin and be done with it...

Thanks for reading about our dull life .....


73 posted on 02/27/2014 3:53:12 PM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
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To: Vendome; NoCmpromiz
We all had fun as kids and life was good. Then liberals decided to "help". Your stories reminded me that we'd all have been taken away from our families 100 times over for such simple things.

The world has gone nuts.

74 posted on 02/27/2014 4:05:03 PM PST by DJ MacWoW (The Fed Gov is not one ring to rule them all)
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To: humblegunner

“I am a hidden Prince in Nigeria and I have need of
help from YOU because I have chosen carefully and
cannot remove the family jewels without help outside
the country..”

I can sympathize. I often try to show off the family jewels but rarely get outside help. Yes, outside help but not with the jewels themselves.


75 posted on 02/27/2014 4:08:07 PM PST by USMCPOP (Father of LCpl. Karl Linn, KIA 1/26/2005 Al Haqlaniyah, Iraq)
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To: USMCPOP
Yes, outside help but not with the jewels themselves.

A burden indeed, and not easily resolved.

76 posted on 02/27/2014 4:13:00 PM PST by humblegunner
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To: trisham

I thought they were overpriced at first but, they lock my teeth in place so I don’t loosen them out of my jaw or crack em.

I can tell when I use my emergency ones, which are more comfortable to sleep with but, the custom ones give me way more relief in the morning.

I have the custom one in its case, sitting on my bed.

I proposed to my doctor that he inject my jaw with botox and the back of me neck a couple years ago.

I thought he was going to fall out of his chair he was laughing so hard.

I started laughing too(I guess that stuff’s contagious) and I had no idea what was so funny. Particularly that day, I felt like I was dying.

So he tells me about the properties of Botox or tried to. He just kept laughing and I along with him.

And asks me to imagine waling around like the elephant man because I can’t hold my head and being slack jawed with my mouth wide open becaue the botox basically relaxed and froze the muscle.

I started laughing harder and he did too.

In a high pitched tone, sounded like a little girl, I responded “I’m already one of your slack jawed patients. So what’s the difference now?”.

He said something in a similar tone and completely inaudible.

We were laughing so hard, when his office manager came in and demanded to know what we were doing we just laughed with these idiotic high pitched tones, till neither of us could breathe and then it was just silent.

I remember his office manager saying “You guys are idiots” and she just walked off and closed the door.

I think it took us another 10 or 15 minutes to compose ourselves.

When I went to pay my bill the office manager looked up at me and then just looked down to write out my receipt and said “I don’t know what you two back there but, your both stupid”.

Well, Dr. had just stepped behind her to get his next patients chart and we looked at each other and just started laughing.

She stomped off saying “When you children are ready to act like adults, let me know. I’m going to have a cigarette!”.

Dr and I started laughing again and another patient was nice enough to give us some tissues to wipe the tears from our eyes and then everyone was chuckling.

So I finally make it outside and his office manager is smoking.

She looks at me and snaps “What?! You got a problem with smoking?”

“Nope” I smiled “Smoking causes busy bodies and statistics”

She finally laughed and we smoked a cigarette together.

One of the funniest Dr. visits ever....

Maybe I needed a good laugh.

I think my headache is pretty much gone...

Thnx....


77 posted on 02/27/2014 4:13:48 PM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
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To: Vendome

That’s a great story, Vendome. I am guessing that you have many of them. :)


78 posted on 02/27/2014 4:16:17 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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Less than $7.2k to go!!

79 posted on 02/27/2014 4:23:29 PM PST by RedMDer (May we always be happy and may our enemies always know it. - Sarah Palin, 10-18-2010)
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To: Jim Robinson

Also, In case I lose my wallet, I have copied BOTH sides of everything I have to carry in it. That enables me to quickly contact every agency with whom I do business.

That list has become a Godsend.


80 posted on 02/27/2014 4:24:10 PM PST by kitkat
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