In further news, police found brass paperweights, doorknobs, and toilet fixtures in the school. Surveillance by hidden cameras show the shiny, yellow metal alloy has failed to attack anyone yet.
If diligent search were made, they might even find knives in the cafeteria kitchen.
Oh, the horror!
Seriesly though, if I were a student in that school, I'd be dropping a dozen or so every day, my friends would be too.