I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up a chair and they sat down, they go:
Mike, we need to talk to you
And I go:
Okay what’s the matter
They go:
Me and your mom have been noticing lately that you’ve been having a lot of problems,
You’ve been going off for no reason and we’re afraid you’re gonna hurt somebody,
We’re afraid you’re gonna hurt yourself.
So we decided that it would be in your interest if we put you somewhere
Where you could get the help that you need.
And I go:
Wait, what are you talking about, we decided!?
My best interest?! How can you know what’s my best interest is?
How can you say what my best interest is? What are you trying to say, I’m crazy?
When I went to your schools, I went to your churches,
I went to your institutional learning facilities?! So how can you say I’m crazy?
They say they’re gonna fix my brain
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I’ll be dead
I’m not crazy - in an institution
You’re the one who’s crazy - in an institution
You’re driving me crazy - in an institution
They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy — myself.
Often the case. For most of us during at least one period of our lives.
All I wanted was a Pepsi!
Suicidal Tendencies?
These kids needed some HOME SCHOOLING.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My father taught me LOGIC.
“ Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
6. My father taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
7. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
8. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
9. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.
10. My father taught me about JUSTICE .
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”