Skip to comments.My message to girls: Be Bossy!
Posted on 03/14/2014 7:13:38 AM PDT by Academiadotorg
A bunch of aggrieved women led by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg launched a high-profile public service campaign this week to ban the word bossy. Sandberg, Beyonce, Victoria Posh Spice Beckham and first lady Michelle Obama have joined femme forces to combat this phantom menace. In their rarefied world, its a very negative experience and a crippling act of gender discrimination to be called bossy. This isnt a word we should use, Sandberg complained on National Public Radio.
To which I say: Oh, buck up.
The key to female empowerment doesnt lie with wheedling word police. It lies with girls and women finding the courage to speak and act on their beliefs and principles without regard to their detractors opinions.
My message to girls, including my own 13-year-old daughter, is not: Ban Bossy. My message is: Be Bossy. And that means first being the boss of you.
Here is my own little story. Over the past 20 years, I have gained a reputation as mouthy, aggressive, overbearing and, yes, bossy. Ive barreled my way through interviews on The View and the Today show, arguing over Joy Behar and Matt Lauer. Ive battled with some of the biggest blowhards in politics, media and Hollywood.
But I wasnt always this way. In grade school, I was shy to the point of verbal paralysis. I failed a speech class because I was terrified to stand up in class with 30 sets of eyes staring at me. I was a doormat and a wallflower, not because I was afraid of being labeled pushy or bossy, but because I was afraid of owning my own thoughts, beliefs and work.
What changed? In college, I got sick of other people especially, ahem, of bossy liberal white women pretending to speak for me. I learned to say no when everyone around me expected and demanded yes. I learned to cut my own path and not give a damn whether anyone followed. I wasnt held back by how others perceived me. I was held back by how I perceived myself.
Sandberg and her friends think bossy (which she calls the other b-word) is worth ginning up an entire media campaign over even enlisting White House officials and cabinet members. But women with unpopular ideas and opinions face a daily barrage of unprintable c-words, f-words, s-words and w-words that are far worse. If we launched media campaigns to ban every ugly word that comes our way, we wouldnt have time to get anything else done.
It is a blessing to be able to make a living exercising the First Amendment. It would be an absolute waste of those precious free speech rights for any woman to pull her punches for fear of, gasp, an adjective.
Girls, heres the truth about the Ban Bossy campaign: Its being spearheaded by a privileged group of elite feminists who have a very vested interest in stoking victim politics and exacerbating the gender divide. They actually encourage dependency and groupthink while paying lip service to empowerment and self-determination. They traffic in bogus wage disparity statistics, whitewashing the fact that whats actually left of that dwindling pay gap is due to the deliberate, voluntary choices women in the workforce make. This includes which industries women enter, how long they stay, what levels they attain, and when and how they decide to start a family.
The supposedly abhorrent unequal outcomes that progressive women want to eradicate dont always come down to sexism. Its not just a gender thing. Its a freedom thing.
I want young girls and young ladies to know that whatever adversity you might face, there has never been a better time to be an American woman. You have more educational, economic and entrepreneurial opportunities than generations of women before you. You have more flexibility, more choices and more ways to spread your messages and make yourself heard than ever before.
Dont just be bossy. Be your own boss. When I started two Internet companies, I didnt ask for anyones permission. I didnt let anyone stop me. I didnt wallow in self-pity about the odds stacked against me or the derision that greeted me. And when times were tough, I didnt blame The Man. I woman-ed up.
Gals, you dont need the sensitivity brigade to protect you from criticism or attacks. You need to learn from them and rise above them, not censor them. And if anyone tells you to tone it down, do the opposite: Crank it up and dont look back. Thats an order!
i do not think words should be banned, but i do not admire bossiness in people...
Okay, so I guess we just stick with the other “B” word for these “ladies” then right?
Sorry, Michelle ... you're raising your little girl to be a bitch that nobody will want to work with. If you don't know the difference between leadership and bossiness I suggest that you learn. Soon.
These women need to get a life,they look silly.If I have a deadline and I’m in charge-get it done.I am bossy.I spoke to a young man who was a teen when I worked with him and other teens.We spoke a few days ago about a song he wants to produce.When he was a teen he said he was in shock when he first worked with me.I ordered people around,stopped production,took people off the set if they wouldn’t listen.It’s not personal,get it done or get out of the way.He wishes I was closer to him so I could take charge.:)Someone has to be in charge.
Ahem...I wonder if some of you really read the piece...conservatives, especially women, sound bossy just for arguing a point...wimpy women don’t generally succeed ... that is I believe Malkins point...and...Learn to “boss yourself”
My second grade teacher adapted some of the "progressive" ideas of John Dewey & Co., so we did a lot of group projects. Each group had a chairman, but a young kid who is suddenly given power over others is often high-handed, imperious and overbearing, as was the case in this class. In response, the teacher wrote on the board, "Chairmen, don't be too bossy."
I stay away from bossy arrogant women as it is a sign of their ignorance and hatred of that which is right.
You’re probably not going to get anywhere by being a doormat.
Bossy can mean different things. If you have the authority, instructing someone to do something is not being bossy.
A study some years ago revealed female bosses are more dictatorial & inflexible than males. Unsurprisingly, men and women overwhelmingly prefer males bosses.
Shove that up your pantsuit, Hellery.
Did we read the same article?
i have worked for a couple of people whom i would follow to the ends of the earth... they were go-getters, doers, leaders, high achievers... and neither were what i would call bossy... and they were not pushovers... they had high expectations, and their employees had better meet those expectations... my co-workers and i did some exceptional work under both of those leaders...
i wholeheartedly concur...
just because one is not bossy does not mean that person is wimpy... it does not have to be one or the other...
I read it again. I stand by my comments.
I frequently agree with Mizz Malkin's political opinions.
I seriously doubt that I would like her personally. I seriously doubt that I would like working with or for her, and I suspect that if she worked for me I'd be fielding a lot of complaints about her conduct. Since she works for herself, more or less, and is not my neighbor ... it's not a real problem to me.
I daresay that for some, a bossy woman is an excuse for said bossy woman to receive a good solid slap upside the head.
(It’s not MY philosophy...just sayin’.)