Skip to comments.Why Some Christians' Kids Blow Off God – and Why Mine Didn't
Posted on 03/16/2014 7:57:29 AM PDT by Kaslin
I love it when Christian parents whose kids havent even yet made it out of the nest with their faith seriously tried, tested and found true, lecture others about how to raise godly kids.
Every time I see one of these dandies come forth, hawking their wisdom thats yet to be seriously proven in the Asplundh of the real world, I feel like saying, Uh you might wanna just keep doing R&D and dial back a skooch with your 'How Tos' until Dinky has made it out of 6th grade without getting a nipple ring and a pentagram tattooed on his forehead.
Personally, Id let life chew on my kids a tad and see how they fare before you come out with your five-point plan.
Listening to parents whos child raising principles have yet to be verified is like listening to a single person telling a married couple with four kids, a half-million dollar mortgage and a live-in aunt with a mustache how to juggle the complexities of managing a big family. Sure, I might listen politely, but inwardly Im thinking, Really? Cmon, really?
Being blessed with two girls whore out of the house and now, in their 20s, who have a real, living, vital, unfeigned faith thats been road-tested at levels that would make most mature adults wince, I think I have a little credence when it comes to raising kids.
In no particular order, heres some chicken scratches regarding how my wife and I did a decent, God-graced job with our indomitable lasses:
1. My wife and I never pretended to be perfect or expected them to pretend to be fabulous all the time. We lived real lives in front of our kids. Not phony, duplicitous, grin until your damn teeth are dried Stepford existences of polished and pretentious perfection. When I screwed up, and it was often, I owned it. I didnt blame the devil or others for my faux pas.
They understood that even though their folks love God, we were not God. We let them know we needed grace and when they derailed we gave them grace. Ask em and theyll tell you that the life we live in secret matches our public life in all of its good, bad and ugliness. If you want your kids to bail on their faith, then be a duplicitous dipstick and a graceless hack and theyll dump your faith like a bad habit. Remember, the gospel is primarily caught, not taught.
2. My wife and I portrayed Jesus as a grand and glorious God and not some mean and nasty, old, petulant Deity who measures dress hems and hates beer. A lot of kids rebel against God not because they hate him but because they hate the way their parents have painted him as a small and petty cosmic killjoy. If you want to guarantee your kids will walk away from the faith, just make it an obnoxiously narrow, fastidiously legalistic, life-sucking, skull-numbing guilt trip. Personally, I think people who make God and the gospel boring and miserable should be first to be tossed into the lake of fire. How someone can take the greatest story ever told and make it suck is both beyond me and unforgivable.
3. Christianity to us equated adventure. Yknow, when I read the Bible I dont get that the characters it lauds loathed the path they trod but actually delighted in it and found it exceedingly and abundantly beyond all they could ask or imagine; and Jonesed for it, versus the crap life of separation from the life of God.
My wife and I showcased a Christianity that was rich with the unknown, adventure, risk and reward. Quite frankly, what they saw and what we touted to them was something that was pretty sweet, and only an idiot would want to rebel against it. And theyre not idiots.
4. We never isolated ourselves. Our friends were everyone. Our house over the years looked like a Star Wars bar scene of rock stars, diplomats, Fox News contributors, strippers, New York Times best-selling authors, the gay, the straight, the successful, the homeless, AIDS victims, doctors and the demented of every imaginable stripe. Our house was wide open to those who were wide open to Him. Please dont dismiss this little ditty.
5. When I was a pastor, I made certain that I wasnt married to the church. I never bought into this crap that my church came before my family. Man of God, if you dump your family for ministry theyll return the favor later on in life and dump you and the God who took their parents away from them in their formative years. If you dont believe me then just plow on and see what happens.
6. Lastly, our Christianity wasnt anti-intellectual. My kids grew up on Clive Staples musings, Os Guinnesss and Tolkiens tomes, philosophy and philosophers; and I often brought them to seminary with me where they got to hear, up close and personal, Dr. R.C. Sproul, Dr. D. James Kennedy and other esteemed theologians who didnt have three teeth and an IQ of 50.
Thats what we did, folks, and it worked.
Our kids are our greatest joy. It hasnt been easy, but then again, so what? Thats life. Its spose to be messy. However, now, as young alpha females conquering the planet, their faith, their tenacity, their successes, their work ethic and their love for God and this country beats anything this world has ever offered this redneck; and for this were forever grateful.
I pray God blesses you and yours like he has my wife and me.
Ah yes, bring in the strippers and homosexuals, get rid of all the rules because kids don’t like them, sneer at the way other Christians do it by calling them stupid. Sounds like a recipe for success.
He starts out with a good premise and then seems to buy into liberal myths about Christians. I do not understand it.
I let kids who are not Christians into our house.
We are one of the few homes with a stay at home mom and a lasting marriage. We’ve had lots of medical issues, but we have survived them all through lots of faith and prayer.
The kids who come over follow our rules. I get chances to talk to to them.
I know it impacts those kids.
Agreed. Seems these “real world” types have no trouble condemning other “3 tooth” Christians to the “Lake of fire” but inviting women who take off their clothes for money into their home to be around their kids is ok?
I know a couple who raised their kids better than anyone I’ve ever seen. One of the kids became a missionary in a third world country. Years later, after being home a while she announced she was a lesbian and turned from God. The parents show there love to her, but make it clear, she is wrong.
Godly parents can do everything right, yet each child, person chooses which way to go. We all pray for her to wake up to the truth she knows, but is currently ignoring.
The Word says “Train a child up in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). This doesn’t say that in-between they won’t depart, only that it will stick with them and at some point return the child to the ways he was taught. One can think of Franklin Graham, for example.
How about “and why, by the grace of God, mine didn’t, and God willing, never will?”
Good to hear some good news on the kid front, but don’t get too cocky about your success. Children can get into sin even where parents do everything right, the best example of all being Adam & Eve, where the perfect parent was God and the kids lived in a perfect environment.
As parents we are charged to raise our children so that may eventually leave the nest and become morally upright, productive citizens. In doing so we seek to:
1.- understand and keep their bodies in good health. If they need to see a doctor they go whether they like it or not.
2. - pursue good schooling to make the kid as educated as possible. If little Johnnie doesnt want to go to school, too bad - you go or get a whooping - no choice!!
3.- we want the child to have a good soul and conscience, to know God and his promises - to know the route to everlasting life - those things they learn in Sunday School and church. Oh, but I cant force him into such an important life choice. When he is a mature person I will let him make his own choice.
Let a kid be exposed to the world and all its darkness for 15-18 years, then expect the child to choose church?? They know nothing about the satisfying love of God, and everything about Satans manipulative and clever ways. How stupid can we be???
You’re criticizing Doug for what he said in his fourth point about welcoming a variety of people. Just be open to what he says when he made this point: “Our house was wide open to those who were wide open to Him.”
It’s the same principle that Jesus Himself emphasized when he welcomed a sinful tax collector into his group. This sinful tax collector eventually wrote one of the four Gospels: The Book of Matthew.
Doug Giles is cocky, and mostly on behalf of Jesus.
He also has the right to be cocky about his daughters: One of them helped to destroy obama’s ACORN.