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Colombian President Wets Pants During Re-election Campaign Speech
Fox News ^ | 03-19-2014 | Fox News

Posted on 03/19/2014 8:01:36 PM PDT by PaulCruz2016

It’s not often that a political candidate’s re-election campaign speech goes viral.

But no doubt Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos would have liked the video of his speech over the weekend in the coastal city of Barranquilla to have gone viral because of the power of his message, or mesmerizing oratorical style, instead of The Spot.

Video of the speech shows a spot appearing and spreading on Santos’ pants – which unfortunately were a light tan color – during his speech to supporters.

(Excerpt) Read more at latino.foxnews.com ...


TOPICS: Foreign Affairs
KEYWORDS: colombian; juanmanuelsantos; photoops; president; reelection; urination; urinetrouble

1 posted on 03/19/2014 8:01:36 PM PDT by PaulCruz2016
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To: PaulCruz2016

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!”. The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!”. The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day’s occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?”. The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, “If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid”. The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my brown pants!!


2 posted on 03/19/2014 8:06:51 PM PDT by billorites (freepo ergo sum)
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To: PaulCruz2016

Reporter craps in her pants during interview:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApNedgj3HBs


3 posted on 03/19/2014 8:07:38 PM PDT by rawhide
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To: billorites

Thanks for the laugh!


4 posted on 03/19/2014 8:09:16 PM PDT by FrdmLvr ("WE ARE ALL OSAMA, 0BAMA!" al-Qaeda terrorists who breached the American compound in Benghazi)
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To: PaulCruz2016
Was that really funny?

Depends...

(rimshot)

5 posted on 03/19/2014 8:13:45 PM PDT by MV=PY (The Magic Question: Who's paying for it?)
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To: rawhide

Jack Nicholson’s character said it best: “never trust a phart”


6 posted on 03/19/2014 8:15:38 PM PDT by NonValueAdded (Screw the farmers. I can get everything I need at the grocery store.)
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To: PaulCruz2016

7 posted on 03/19/2014 8:17:02 PM PDT by ConservativeStatement ("World Peace 1.20.09.")
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To: ConservativeStatement

That’s “Tinkle”, not “Tingle.”


8 posted on 03/19/2014 8:17:56 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: PaulCruz2016

That poor man just lived my nightmare....


9 posted on 03/19/2014 8:22:09 PM PDT by PGR88
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To: PaulCruz2016

Al Roker: ‘I Pooped My Pants’ at White House (Video)

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/al-roker-i-pooped-my-409317


10 posted on 03/19/2014 8:22:13 PM PDT by DManA
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To: dfwgator
"Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna."


11 posted on 03/19/2014 8:24:00 PM PDT by ConservativeStatement ("World Peace 1.20.09.")
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To: PaulCruz2016

Some reports I’ve seen say he’s incontinent because of surgery he had for prostate cancer.


12 posted on 03/19/2014 8:25:20 PM PDT by GrootheWanderer
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To: PaulCruz2016

“I think Ah may ave soiled myself”—Fat B@stard.


13 posted on 03/19/2014 8:25:56 PM PDT by exit82 ("The Taliban is on the inside of the building" E. Nordstrom 10-10-12)
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To: PaulCruz2016

14 posted on 03/19/2014 8:26:33 PM PDT by BookmanTheJanitor
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To: DManA

More info than we needed, Al.


15 posted on 03/19/2014 8:26:57 PM PDT by The_Media_never_lie (The media must be defeated any way it can be done.)
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To: PaulCruz2016; a fool in paradise

Pee happens!


16 posted on 03/19/2014 8:27:29 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious! We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone!)
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To: PaulCruz2016

Depends.


17 posted on 03/19/2014 8:27:36 PM PDT by fatima (Free Hugs Today :))
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To: PaulCruz2016
Way back in the year 2000, I wrote a scene in an parody screenplay called Rainforest Man where Al Gore wets his pants during the debate. It's sort of the end of his political career.

INT. - PACKED AUDITORIUM - ON STAGE - NIGHT

BUSH: Well Al, I've heard that you intend to place a good number of radical environmentalists in your cabinet. Why don't you tell us the names of some of the people you are considering?

GORE: OK... tell you their names... but, as you know... many of today's environmentalists legally change their names... change their names to reflect their passion... passion over environmental issues... environmental issues... like Julia "Butterfly" Hill, for example... change their names...

BUSH: That's fine Al, but why don't you tell me who you are considering for your cabinet.

GORE: Secretary of the Interior... "Who Will Speak For The Trees" as Secretary of the Interior...

BUSH: That's what I want to find out, who will be Secretary of the Interior?

GORE: "Who Will Speak For The Trees."

BUSH: Are you running for president, Albert?

GORE: Yes.

BUSH: And as President, you're going to appoint a cabinet...?

GORE: Yes.

BUSH: Well then, you should know the name of the person you are going to nominate for Secretary of the Interior?

GORE: Yes.

BUSH: Well, what's the fella's name?

GORE: "Who Will Speak For The Trees."

BUSH: The Secretary of the Interior, I guess.

GORE: Exactly.

BUSH: And his name is...

GORE: "Who Will Speak For The Trees"

BUSH: It's very difficult getting a straight answer out of you Mr. Vice-President! How about your Secretary of Energy? Do you have someone in mind to be Energy Secretary?

GORE: "Solar Heats Best."

BUSH: Solar power may very well be a viable alternate source of power, but do you have anyone in mind to be your Energy Secretary.

GORE: That's the man's name.

BUSH: That's who's name?

GORE: "Solar Heats Best."

BUSH: Will your Energy Secretary have a name, Al?

GORE: That's it.

BUSH: "Solar Heats Best?"

GORE: Yes... "Solar Heats Best"...

BUSH: Listen, are you gonna have a Defense Secretary?

GORE: Certainly...

BUSH: And he will be...

GORE: "Nukes Kill."

BUSH: Well, they are designed to, but nuclear weapons are also used to keep the peace. Why don't you tell us who you will nominate to be your Defense Secretary?

GORE: "Nukes Kill."

BUSH: When you meet with your Defense Secretary, who will you be meeting with?

GORE: "Nukes Kill."

BUSH: All I'm trying to find out is the fella's name who's going to be your Defense Secretary!

GORE: "Nukes Kill."

BUSH: "Nukes Kill?" I ask you the name of the guy who going to be your Defense Secretary and you answer "Nukes Kill."

GORE: That's it.

BUSH: "Nukes Kill?"

GORE: A great guy... excellent Defense Secretary... very knowledgable...

BUSH: The Secretary of Defense often has to sign important agreements and treaties. Your Defense Secretary is going to sign...?

GORE: "Nukes Kill."

BUSH: I give up. How about your Attorney General, Al? Is your Attorney General going to have a name?

GORE: "Have To Take A Leak."

BUSH: Your Attorney General... the top law enforcement official in the land... will he have a name?

GORE: "Have To Take A Leak."

BUSH: Are you telling me that you are going to have an Attorney General who's name is "Have To Take A Leak"?

GORE: No, I'm telling you I have to take a leak!... drank alot of iced tea... need to go to the little boy's ro... uh-oh, too late... have to go to K-Mart... get new briefs... new briefs from K-Mart... K-Mart has dry briefs...


INT. - PACKED AUDITORIUM - BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

Clinton and Morris are staring in horror at the disasterous turn of events. In the background, we can see Gore moving from behind his podium and pointing at the growing wet stain in the front of his pants. We can hear the far away sound of his voice.

GORE: too much iced tea... need new briefs from K-Mart... uh-oh!... bad Albert, bad! too much iced tea...

Clinton frantically reaches behind Morris and yanks a large wooden dowel from the wall, detaching the sand bag that counterbalances the large stage curtain. Unbeknownst to Morris, the curtain rope is looped around his leg. As the heavy stage curtain falls between Albert and the hysterically laughing audience, Dick Morris rockets upside-down into the air.

GORE: (turning to Clinton and pointing at his wet pants) too much iced tea... too much... bad Albert... need new briefs...

MORRIS: (unseen) Help!! Somebody get me down from here!!

GORE: Ooops! Dick stuck... (reaching for a different wooden dowel in the wall)

MORRIS: Don't pull that! Albert NO!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

After a long screaming drop, Morris crashes like a sack of potatoes onto the stage. Clinton buries his face in his hands.

GORE: Dick's down... dick's down... (points to his wet groin)... bad Albert... too much iced tea... need new briefs... new briefs from K-Mart...

The shot of Gore pointing to his wet groin freezes with a photographer's flash, then slowly morphs into an advertisement on a television screen. The announcer speaks softly, as part of the Republican campaign ad.

ANNOUNCER: Al Gore lets a girl dress him... and he still wets his pants. Haven't you seen enough? George Bush hasn't wet his pants in at least 30 years. Probably much, much longer. (woman's voice speaking softly and quickly) Paid for by "The Current, Respectable Friends of George W. Bush."


INT. - GORE CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS - ELECTION NIGHT

Bill Clinton and Dick Morris (wearing a neck brace) are slumped over in their chairs, reluctantly accepting a brow beating from Vernon Jordan. In the background, Albert is trying to coax any of the departing campaign volunteers into giving him a high-five. None of the disheartened faithful are interested.

GORE: (in the distance) High five... what's the matter... next stop - the White Home!... c'mon high five... high five?... you?... you? (finally, he raises his hands in the air and slaps them against each other) yeah! high five!... way to go, Albert!... high five!... Albert rocks... high five for Albert!

JORDAN: We destroyed as much of the incriminating evidence as we could, and there'll be a devastaing fire later tonight in the executive office area that should take care of anything we missed. But if anything still gets out, who can we blame but you two? I've never seen such irresponsible behavior from grown politicians in my life!

CLINTON: Oh get off it, Vern! What was your plan? Focus groups? Voter fraud?

JORDAN: Yes! As a matter of fact, those things were a part of the plan! But unlike you two hotshots, we had a back-up plan. We had a September plane crash planned for Albert! No muss - no fuss, a simple accidental plane crash.

MORRIS: You're right, Vernon. We behaved like a couple of childish third-party knuckleheads. We should have had an extermination plan in place... like professionals...


18 posted on 03/19/2014 8:35:02 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Revolting cat!
"He's all wee weed up!!!"


19 posted on 03/19/2014 8:40:33 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (The Texas judge's decision was to pave the way for same sex divorce for two Massachusetts women.)
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To: rawhide

OMG - I feel so sorry for her. How do you ever live THAT down???


20 posted on 03/19/2014 8:49:19 PM PDT by Aria ( 2008 & 2012 weren't elections - they were coup d'etats.)
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To: PaulCruz2016
What the media won't report is that Santos just had prostate surgery.

Complain because he went FULL WUSS over the guerrillas and dropped the ball after the heroic President Uribe, not because he forgot his depends after a traumatic surgery.

Anyone who isn't fully advocating the slaughter of the socialists guerrillas in Colombia is in league with them.

Uribe crushed them and paved the way for Colombia's economic revival. Coddling them assures a devastating blow to the economy if they gain any ground.

21 posted on 03/19/2014 8:51:27 PM PDT by Caipirabob (Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: billorites

Lol! That said, he probably didn’t actually pee his pants, he’s more likely just a heavy sweater and those people can stain clothing armpits and crotches in no time at all. Dark clothing all around, please!


22 posted on 03/19/2014 8:58:33 PM PDT by livius
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To: billorites
Arghh.. Matey, tell that during (9/19/14) ITLAPD.

23 posted on 03/19/2014 9:14:13 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Caligula / 0'Reid / 0'Pelosi)
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To: Caipirabob
What the media won't report is that Santos just had prostate surgery.

The majority of the article is about the fact that it was accidental incontinence due to his prostate surgery.

24 posted on 03/20/2014 4:50:38 AM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: PaulCruz2016

There’s a strange redirect on your link...


25 posted on 03/20/2014 6:04:17 AM PDT by GOPJ (NASA: N othing A bout S pace A nymore - - FreperClearCase_guy)
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