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USMC Best Joke of the Year

Posted on 03/22/2014 5:15:32 PM PDT by Din Maker

A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened. The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved. And he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Communist who isn't even an American. So I said that Ahmadinejad acts and dresses like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!. And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us."


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: joke; usmc
Thought I'd lighten things up a bit.
1 posted on 03/22/2014 5:15:32 PM PDT by Din Maker
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To: Din Maker

LOL!


2 posted on 03/22/2014 5:17:18 PM PDT by Linda Frances (Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.)
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To: Din Maker

thanks.
truly the one thing we share with the SOB’s is disasteriously crappy politicians


3 posted on 03/22/2014 5:24:16 PM PDT by faithhopecharity ("H)
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To: Din Maker

HA! Great joke.


4 posted on 03/22/2014 5:26:03 PM PDT by madameguinot
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To: Din Maker

LOL!

This requires some visualization:

What does the Army call the UH-60 helicopter?
Black Hawk

What does the Navy call it?
Sea Hawk

And the Marines?
Jump up and down grunting and pointing sky excitedly.


5 posted on 03/22/2014 5:26:32 PM PDT by Gamecock
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To: Din Maker

thanks


6 posted on 03/22/2014 5:30:00 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: Din Maker

Guffaw!


7 posted on 03/22/2014 5:48:04 PM PDT by wvguy
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To: Din Maker

There was a version of this for Vietnam, “to Hell with LBJ” “to Hell with Ho Chi Minh”, same punchline.


8 posted on 03/22/2014 6:01:08 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: Gamecock
Gamecock

Fixed it fer ya!

9 posted on 03/22/2014 6:04:09 PM PDT by SgtBob (Freedom is not for the faint of heart. Semper Fi!)
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To: SgtBob

Isn’t Bob short for Richard? What is also, ah never mind. Not going to lower myself to your level.


10 posted on 03/22/2014 6:10:35 PM PDT by Gamecock
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To: expat_panama
LOL!!!!!! PING
11 posted on 03/22/2014 6:13:53 PM PDT by Chgogal (Obama "hung the SEALs out to dry, basically exposed them like a set of dog balls..." CMH)
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To: Din Maker

Ha!


12 posted on 03/22/2014 6:14:24 PM PDT by MattinNJ (It's over Johnny. The America you knew is gone. Denial serves no purpose.)
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To: Gamecock

Nah, Bob is short for Robert...though you might know know that. Oh, well...Semper Fi, anyhow....


13 posted on 03/22/2014 6:19:10 PM PDT by SgtBob (Freedom is not for the faint of heart. Semper Fi!)
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To: Gamecock

“Isn’t Bob short for Richard?”

Bob > Robert

Dick > Richard


14 posted on 03/22/2014 6:26:22 PM PDT by TexasGator
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To: Din Maker

HA HA HA HA HA!


15 posted on 03/22/2014 6:40:14 PM PDT by Amberdawn
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To: SgtBob
Don't worry about it Bro', those who were not and could not be Marines often like to try and disparage us.

Semper Fi

16 posted on 03/22/2014 6:43:09 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: TexasGator; Gamecock

Not quite sure where Gamecock was goin’ with that one...bet his Latin ain’t much better;-)


17 posted on 03/22/2014 6:50:24 PM PDT by SgtBob (Freedom is not for the faint of heart. Semper Fi!)
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To: SunkenCiv

My Dad told me the WWII version: occupied Japan, a frustrated Yank who never saw combat yells at the first Japanese he sees, “Tojo is a no-good worthless war criminal!!”

The Jap yells back, “Your MacArthur is ten times worse and thinks he’s G-d!!”

The Yank recalls, “Then, just as we were shaking hands, a jeep musta run over us!”


18 posted on 03/22/2014 6:51:45 PM PDT by elcid1970 ("In the modern world, Muslims are living fossils.")
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To: doorgunner69; Gamecock

DG69, the Gamecock didn’t get under my hide...hell, I’ll even give a Squid one shot, but poke me, yer gonna get poked back. No animosity, what so ever.

Semper Fi, Brother!


19 posted on 03/22/2014 7:04:00 PM PDT by SgtBob (Freedom is not for the faint of heart. Semper Fi!)
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To: Din Maker

Retread, but always funny! LOL


20 posted on 03/22/2014 7:06:20 PM PDT by SgtBob (Freedom is not for the faint of heart. Semper Fi!)
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To: elcid1970
I think I read about a "for real" exchange, at least claimed to be by Ernie Pyle in "Guadalcanal Diaries".

If my memory serves (read the book fifty some years ago), a Marine shouts out at night to the Japanese line:

Tojo eats sh!t!

From the Japanese line comes back:

Rosever' eat sh!t!

Pyle wrote that the Marine, evidently a Republican, shouted back:

You damn straight he does!

21 posted on 03/22/2014 7:07:35 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: SgtBob

“Not quite sure where Gamecock was goin’ with that one...bet his Latin ain’t much better;-)”

It’s Saturday night. Who knows!


22 posted on 03/22/2014 7:16:35 PM PDT by TexasGator
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To: Din Maker

good one!............sent it on to many!


23 posted on 03/22/2014 7:26:01 PM PDT by Cen-Tejas (it's the debt bomb stupid!)
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To: Din Maker

Good one.


24 posted on 03/22/2014 8:19:16 PM PDT by HANG THE EXPENSE (Life's tough.It's tougher when you're stupid.)
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To: doorgunner69

I owe my hide to the Corps because of two of your finest saved me from a nasty ordeal years ago. I want you to know that their money was no good for their entire liberty. May God bless and keep the UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS always.


25 posted on 03/22/2014 8:27:01 PM PDT by HANG THE EXPENSE (Life's tough.It's tougher when you're stupid.)
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To: Din Maker

Didn`t expect that...too funny! I`m passing it on.


26 posted on 03/22/2014 8:31:24 PM PDT by ClearBlueSky (When anyone says its not about Islam...it's about Islam. That death cult must be eradicated.)
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To: TexasGator
Everybody knows that the Navy and Air Force are just a glorified taxi service for the Marines so that the Marines can capture the next camp site for the Army.
27 posted on 03/22/2014 8:40:23 PM PDT by jimpick
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To: Din Maker

Very good. Sent to my Marine son.


28 posted on 03/22/2014 8:43:27 PM PDT by ottbmare (the OTTB mare, now a proud Marine Mom)
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To: doorgunner69

If you want to read another Ernie Pyle book, try “Here is Your War: Story of G.I. Joe”, World Publishing Co., 1945, about the No. Africa campaigns.

Written/published shortly before Pyle was killed in the Pacific.

He was one of America’s best war correspondents who never lost sight of the quality and valor of the American fighting man.

Madmax, Nam journalist, Fall 1970


29 posted on 03/22/2014 9:02:37 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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To: Din Maker

That’s a good one


30 posted on 03/22/2014 9:06:37 PM PDT by 2CAVTrooper (Politicians and diapers need to be changed for the same reason)
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To: jimpick

Our most exciting time at sea was when the Marine pilots were doing their carrier quals ...


31 posted on 03/22/2014 9:28:04 PM PDT by TexasGator
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To: Din Maker

Now I’ve got to get the windex and paper towels and clean my screen.


32 posted on 03/22/2014 9:46:25 PM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah so shall it be again,")
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To: jimpick

You got it right.
LST 1160 + LST 532.
In the Gator Fleet we say
“You Call We Haul” (No
matter what or who)


33 posted on 03/22/2014 10:03:58 PM PDT by YOMO
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To: SgtBob

My friend was in the Marines for 9 years in the 60s-70s. He and I went to buy a rifle from some old guy wearing a Vietnam Vet cap and he couldn’t talk enough about his Army days over there. He finally took a break from his tales to ask my buddy if he served and when he heard he had been in the Marines, the guy said, “Oh, I wanted to join the Marines, but my parents were married.” I’m sure it’s an old one, but it took me by surprise.


34 posted on 03/22/2014 10:05:48 PM PDT by eartrumpet
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To: SgtBob

Joke from Nazi Germany—the teller was sent to a Concentration camp for telling it.

“Hitler and Gobbles were on top of a new Radio tower in Berlin. below the masses were cheering to them.
Hitler turns to Gobbles and says, “The people have really suffered. I wish I could do something to cheer them up.”
Gobbles answers, “ You can, just Jump.”


35 posted on 03/22/2014 10:23:17 PM PDT by Forward the Light Brigade (Into the Jaws of H*ll)
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To: eartrumpet

My compliments to all those “bastard” Marines!


36 posted on 03/22/2014 10:26:26 PM PDT by JouleZ (You are the company you keep.)
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To: Din Maker

Ha! Common ground.


37 posted on 03/22/2014 11:15:19 PM PDT by TChad (The Obamacare motto: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.)
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To: Din Maker

I really enjoyed that laugh, after an extra long day! Thanks for the joke


38 posted on 03/23/2014 12:05:51 AM PDT by catbertz
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To: elcid1970; Chgogal
“Your MacArthur is ten times worse and thinks he’s G-d!!”

Huh, so that's why so many people were unimpressed when I told 'em the "LBJ's a jerk" joke I'd just heard.  Now I'm wondering just how far back into history that one goes.  Still doesn't change the fact it's a great joke though...

39 posted on 03/23/2014 3:21:29 AM PDT by expat_panama (Arguing with those who have renounced reason is like giving medicine to the dead. --Thomas Paine)
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To: elcid1970

Heh heh... for all we know now (since it’s beyond living memory) there’s a WWI version, a Civil War version, a Napoleonic War version, a Rome vs Carthage version... :’)


40 posted on 03/23/2014 4:29:00 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: Gamecock

And who does an AF Sergeant call? The golf course to get a tee time.

Well, not that funny.


41 posted on 03/23/2014 4:38:04 AM PDT by ops33 (Senior Master Sergeant, USAF (Retired))
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