Skip to comments.How to Consciously Uncouple: Advice for a drama-free divorce from Gwyneth Paltrow’s guru
Posted on 03/27/2014 6:40:34 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
Celebrity power couple Gwyenth Paltrow and Chris Martin are not merely divorcing; they are consciously uncoupling.
In a Tuesday night post announcing the end of their ten-year marriage, under the headline Conscious Uncoupling on Paltrows lifestyle blog Goop, the couple wrote that it is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. After working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, they have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. They will always be a family, though, and in some ways are closer than we have ever been. They conclude with a request for privacy as they consciously uncouple and coparent.
Consciously uncoupling certainly sounds much more amicable and orderly than breaking up or even unconsciously uncoupling. But what exactly does it mean?
Paltrow helpfully followed up her initial announcement by posting a 2,000-word treatise on conscious uncoupling from Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami, a married couple living in Los Angeles. (Dr. Sadeghi is an osteopathic doctor who runs an integrative health center called Be Hive of Healing, pun presumably intended, and whose book Within: A Spiritual Awakening to Love and Weight Loss contains a forward written by Paltrow. His wife is a dentist.)
Sadeghi and Sami begin by explaining that given rapidly accelerating life expectancy, these days its unrealistic to expect that well be able to stick it out until death do us part, which suggests we ought to redefine the construct of marriage.
Our biology and psychology arent set up to be with one person for four, five, or six decades, they write. So theres the science. Now for some New Agey jargon: Life is a spiritual exercise in evolving from an exoskeleton for support and survival to an endoskeleton, they write in a section entitled, Intimacy & Insects. They mean by this, basically, that you have to look within yourself for support and strength and healing, not to others, or, one can infer, to any kind of external deity.
Finally, they get to the part about how to uncouple consciously and avoid the drama of divorce. You shouldnt think about it in terms of your marriage having failed, because (a) as we learned, the expectation that it would last was based on an outdated construct, and (b) this is actually going to be a positive experience if you just let go of old notions and approach it in terms of building up your partners spiritual endoskeleton. To change the concept of divorce, we need to release the belief structures we have around marriage that create rigidity in our thought process, they write. The belief structure that marriage should be for life is too much pressure for anyone.
Conscious uncoupling will bring wholeness to the spirits of both people who choose to recognize each other as their teachers. Whats more, conscious uncoupling prevents families from being broken by divorce and creates expanded families that continue to function in a healthy way outside of traditional marriage.
They conclude that by choosing to handle your uncoupling in a conscious way . . . youll see that although it looks like everything is coming apart; its actually all coming back together.
One anonymous source offered E! a more prosaic take on the end of the relationship. They both really believed in the sanctity of marriage and the role model it provided for their kids, the source said. Both of their parents were married their entire lives, and they really wanted the same for their kids. They stuck it out for a long time.
If thats an accurate description, it sounds like Dr. Sadeghi has some work to do in helping the uncoupling couple to adjust their rigid belief structures.
Katherine Connell is an associate editor at National Review.
No doubt their kids will be delighted to find they have “coparents” in their lives.
He probably got fed up with having to do obeisance every time he came into the room.................
New age gobbledygook to avoid saying they are getting a everyday divorce.
More New Age nonsense. There are two children involved. Divorce is never easy or pleasant from their perspective.
Guess that’s the “View from the Top”.
Their kids? You mean APPLE and MOSES?
Keep in mind that Mom is one of the most high-demand actresses on the planet and Dad is the frontman for a popular band.
How much time to you think those kids really spend with their parents, as opposed to the staff their parents hire to “parent” for them?
Seriously. When your lifestyle and financial outlook is not going to change the least little bit, I imagine divorce can be pretty amicable.
Divorce tears the kids to pieces. There’s no way to deny that.
Some people in Genesis lived until 900 years old and they had marriages.
Outdated construct? Did that come from the script of the Matrix?
RE: Some people in Genesis lived until 900 years old and they had marriages.
The problem is these people don’t believe in the Bible.
He’s a homo and she’s annoying.
Are they consciously coupling with other people yet?
Er — the earliest marriages lasted for hundreds of years.
Gweneth who? I should care because.............?
Are you accusing her of being a J.A.P.? LOL!
I would have been much more comfortable if they would have named their second child Banana or Grape. Where is the consistency in Apple and Moses. There was obvious confusion between this couple from the beginning!
Bad enough to go through life with a name like "Apple".
How do I know he's gay?
He listens to Coldplay.
I konw she's a head case but still a beautiful woman.
“Hes a homo...”
So it’s not just his music that sucks?
Isn't one named Apple?
No, he IS Coldplay. Which makes him uber-gay.
I’m usually not into scrawny chicks (hell, who am I kidding - the list of chicks who will let me into them is small to non-existent) - but you are oh so very right about her. She is beautiful
I did not know she was Jewish until just now, but yeah, she’s the perfect fit..................
Meanwhile my wonderful wife and I are celebrating our 21st anniversary today. Then again we don’t have a kid named “Apple” so...
They left out the most important part:
“Marry somebody you don’t love in the first place.”
Gwyneth Paltrow’s long lineage of rabbis
I like her mom...............
Why is that?
Blythe Danner is gorgeous................
My wife is in charge of uncoupling in our house.
“Mommy and Daddy just consciously uncoupled and I’m still stuck with the name Apple. At least it’s better than Microsoft.”
One good thing may come of this. Chris writes killer songs. If she broke his heart, we might expect some more classics from ColdPlay.
I would have been much more comfortable if they would have named their second child Banana or Grape.
LIberals ALL.........................NBC: Nothing But Crap........................
Lol, pretty funny....but now they will consciously uncouple the confusion.
Just keep in mind that those collectivist Yids are not having children at the rate the Orthodox are and for the most part are conservative. Those Leftists simply breed themselves out over time.
Leftists have about 0-2 children whereas religious people tend to have 2-4. The Haredi and Chassidic Yids start with at least 4 and go upwards of 10 and sometimes even more.
That’s why I encourage all conservative/traditional/religious people to have more children.
New International Version
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
Here’s how I see it. A parent who divorces is making the child shed tears on her behalf. It’s wrong. Unless I’m married to a man given to violence or who abuses my child, there is a way to live together in order to maintain the integrity of the marriage. Also, God can repair any relationship if we are willing to live His way instead of ours.
IT’S A COOKBOOK!
The problem with this analysis is that most people with a lot of kids are on some sort of assistance. WIC and CHiP are very common among big families. Most of the big, religious, conservative families I know are Catholic and I'm telling you they are collecting the government bennies. Meanwhile, the typical liberal with 1 or 2 kids doesn't use them (or at least not as many). And what's more, the libs' kids are more likely to go on to high paying careers. Of course there are lots of exceptions, but next time you run into a big, conservative family (more than 5 kids), take a closer look. Odds are, they're getting by with some of your tax dollars.
I'm all for big families - my wife and I raised 11. And we did it without government assistance. But honestly, if we'd have qualified back in the day, I'm not so sure my wife wouldn't have wanted to take advantage of the handouts (of course that would have happened over my dead or mangled body). But there's no denying, times were tough for us, and my wife, as the household manager, had to bear the brunt of it. I'm not blaming these families for doing what they can to make their lives less difficult. In other words, many big families are raising more kids who feel like the government owes them a living - the parents may vote pro-life, pro trad marriage, pro-2nd amendment, but philosophically, they're very often libs and they're raising little libs.
I’ll keep that in mind!