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How to Consciously Uncouple: Advice for a drama-free divorce from Gwyneth Paltrow’s guru
National Review ^ | 03/27/2014 | Katherine Connell

Posted on 03/27/2014 6:40:34 AM PDT by SeekAndFind



Celebrity power couple Gwyenth Paltrow and Chris Martin are not merely divorcing; they are consciously uncoupling.

In a Tuesday night post announcing the end of their ten-year marriage, under the headline “Conscious Uncoupling” on Paltrow’s lifestyle blog Goop, the couple wrote that “it is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate.” After “working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us,” they “have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate.” They will always be a family, though, and in some ways are “closer than we have ever been.” They conclude with a request for privacy as they “consciously uncouple and coparent.”

Consciously uncoupling certainly sounds much more amicable and orderly than breaking up or even unconsciously uncoupling. But what exactly does it mean?

Paltrow helpfully followed up her initial announcement by posting a 2,000-word treatise on conscious uncoupling from Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami, a married couple living in Los Angeles. (Dr. Sadeghi is an osteopathic doctor who runs an “integrative health center” called “Be Hive of Healing,” pun presumably intended, and whose book Within: A Spiritual Awakening to Love and Weight Loss contains a forward written by Paltrow. His wife is a dentist.)

Sadeghi and Sami begin by explaining that given rapidly accelerating life expectancy, these days it’s unrealistic to expect that we’ll be able to stick it out until death do us part, which suggests we “ought to redefine the construct” of marriage.

“Our biology and psychology aren’t set up to be with one person for four, five, or six decades,” they write. So there’s the science. Now for some New Agey jargon: “Life is a spiritual exercise in evolving from an exoskeleton for support and survival to an endoskeleton,” they write in a section entitled, “Intimacy & Insects.” They mean by this, basically, that you have to look within yourself for support and strength and healing, not to others, or, one can infer, to any kind of external deity.

Finally, they get to the part about how to uncouple consciously and “avoid the drama of divorce.” You shouldn’t think about it in terms of your marriage having failed, because (a) as we learned, the expectation that it would last was based on an outdated construct, and (b) this is actually going to be a positive experience if you just let go of old notions and approach it in terms of building up your partner’s spiritual endoskeleton. “To change the concept of divorce, we need to release the belief structures we have around marriage that create rigidity in our thought process,” they write. The “belief structure” that marriage should be for life “is too much pressure for anyone.”

Conscious uncoupling will bring “wholeness to the spirits of both people who choose to recognize each other as their teachers.” What’s more, conscious uncoupling “prevents families from being broken by divorce and creates expanded families that continue to function in a healthy way outside of traditional marriage.”

They conclude that by “choosing to handle your uncoupling in a conscious way . . . you’ll see that although it looks like everything is coming apart; it’s actually all coming back together.”

One anonymous source offered E! a more prosaic take on the end of the relationship. “They both really believed in the sanctity of marriage and the role model it provided for their kids,” the source said. “Both of their parents were married their entire lives, and they really wanted the same for their kids. They stuck it out for a long time.”

If that’s an accurate description, it sounds like Dr. Sadeghi has some work to do in helping the uncoupling couple to adjust their rigid belief structures.

— Katherine Connell is an associate editor at National Review.



TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: divorce; gwynethpaltrow; paltrow; whogetsapple
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1 posted on 03/27/2014 6:40:34 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
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To: SeekAndFind

No doubt their kids will be delighted to find they have “coparents” in their lives.


2 posted on 03/27/2014 6:42:51 AM PDT by madprof98
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To: SeekAndFind

He probably got fed up with having to do obeisance every time he came into the room.................


3 posted on 03/27/2014 6:42:58 AM PDT by Red Badger (LIberal is an oxymoron......................)
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To: SeekAndFind
heh-heh...yeah, okay. The bickering should start in a month or two; then the lawyers, the inventories, the accusations the courts. It'll get real "conscious" soon.
4 posted on 03/27/2014 6:43:30 AM PDT by Ghost of SVR4 (So many are so hopelessly dependent on the government that they will fight to protect it.)
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To: SeekAndFind

New age gobbledygook to avoid saying they are getting a everyday divorce.


5 posted on 03/27/2014 6:43:30 AM PDT by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
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To: SeekAndFind

More New Age nonsense. There are two children involved. Divorce is never easy or pleasant from their perspective.


6 posted on 03/27/2014 6:43:41 AM PDT by allendale
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To: SeekAndFind

Guess that’s the “View from the Top”.


7 posted on 03/27/2014 6:48:21 AM PDT by exit82 ("The Taliban is on the inside of the building" E. Nordstrom 10-10-12)
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To: madprof98

Their kids? You mean APPLE and MOSES?


8 posted on 03/27/2014 6:48:42 AM PDT by Toespi
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To: allendale

Keep in mind that Mom is one of the most high-demand actresses on the planet and Dad is the frontman for a popular band.

How much time to you think those kids really spend with their parents, as opposed to the staff their parents hire to “parent” for them?


9 posted on 03/27/2014 6:50:24 AM PDT by tanknetter
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To: exit82

Seriously. When your lifestyle and financial outlook is not going to change the least little bit, I imagine divorce can be pretty amicable.


10 posted on 03/27/2014 6:51:23 AM PDT by Wolfie
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To: allendale

Divorce tears the kids to pieces. There’s no way to deny that.


11 posted on 03/27/2014 6:52:47 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (Woe to those who call good evil, and evil good; call darkness light, and light, darkness.)
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To: SeekAndFind
Finally, they get to the part about how to uncouple consciously and “avoid the drama of divorce.” You shouldn’t think about it in terms of your marriage having failed, because (a) as we learned, the expectation that it would last was based on an outdated construct

Some people in Genesis lived until 900 years old and they had marriages.

Outdated construct? Did that come from the script of the Matrix?

12 posted on 03/27/2014 6:57:51 AM PDT by Lx (Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it, "Mr. & Mrs. Tenorman Chili.")
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To: Lx

RE: Some people in Genesis lived until 900 years old and they had marriages.

The problem is these people don’t believe in the Bible.


13 posted on 03/27/2014 6:58:58 AM PDT by SeekAndFind (question is this)
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To: SeekAndFind

He’s a homo and she’s annoying.


14 posted on 03/27/2014 6:59:01 AM PDT by jimbo123
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To: SeekAndFind

Touche’


15 posted on 03/27/2014 6:59:29 AM PDT by Lx (Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it, "Mr. & Mrs. Tenorman Chili.")
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To: tanknetter

Are they consciously coupling with other people yet?


16 posted on 03/27/2014 6:59:29 AM PDT by txhurl
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To: SeekAndFind

Er — the earliest marriages lasted for hundreds of years.


17 posted on 03/27/2014 7:01:27 AM PDT by agrarianlady
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To: SeekAndFind

Gweneth who? I should care because.............?


18 posted on 03/27/2014 7:03:55 AM PDT by Cheerio (Barry Hussein Soetoro-0bama=The Complete Destruction of American Capitalism)
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To: Red Badger

Are you accusing her of being a J.A.P.? LOL!


19 posted on 03/27/2014 7:04:04 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
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To: Toespi

I would have been much more comfortable if they would have named their second child Banana or Grape. Where is the consistency in Apple and Moses. There was obvious confusion between this couple from the beginning!


20 posted on 03/27/2014 7:05:55 AM PDT by MissH
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To: madprof98
No doubt their kids will be delighted to find they have “coparents” in their lives.

Bad enough to go through life with a name like "Apple".

21 posted on 03/27/2014 7:07:00 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Jack Hydrazine
I don't even like her name.

Leni

22 posted on 03/27/2014 7:07:39 AM PDT by MinuteGal
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To: jimbo123
He’s a homo and she’s annoying.

How do I know he's gay?

He listens to Coldplay.

23 posted on 03/27/2014 7:07:48 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: SeekAndFind
I think Gwyneth is consciously uncoupling because she knows Chris Martin has been copulously consciously coupling with others besides her.

I konw she's a head case but still a beautiful woman.


24 posted on 03/27/2014 7:08:47 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: jimbo123

“He’s a homo...”

So it’s not just his music that sucks?


25 posted on 03/27/2014 7:08:54 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: allendale
More New Age nonsense. There are two children involved

Isn't one named Apple?

26 posted on 03/27/2014 7:09:52 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: dfwgator

No, he IS Coldplay. Which makes him uber-gay.


27 posted on 03/27/2014 7:10:01 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Rummyfan

I’m usually not into scrawny chicks (hell, who am I kidding - the list of chicks who will let me into them is small to non-existent) - but you are oh so very right about her. She is beautiful


28 posted on 03/27/2014 7:12:01 AM PDT by Hegewisch Dupa
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To: Jack Hydrazine

I did not know she was Jewish until just now, but yeah, she’s the perfect fit..................


29 posted on 03/27/2014 7:34:27 AM PDT by Red Badger (LIberal is an oxymoron......................)
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To: SeekAndFind

Meanwhile my wonderful wife and I are celebrating our 21st anniversary today. Then again we don’t have a kid named “Apple” so...


30 posted on 03/27/2014 7:36:04 AM PDT by Wyatt's Torch
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To: SeekAndFind

They left out the most important part:

“Marry somebody you don’t love in the first place.”


31 posted on 03/27/2014 7:36:39 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (H.L. Mencken: "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.")
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To: Red Badger

Gwyneth Paltrow’s long lineage of rabbis
http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4050404,00.html


32 posted on 03/27/2014 7:38:10 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

I like her mom...............


33 posted on 03/27/2014 7:43:55 AM PDT by Red Badger (LIberal is an oxymoron......................)
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To: Red Badger

Why is that?


34 posted on 03/27/2014 7:45:12 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
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To: Red Badger

Dittos


35 posted on 03/27/2014 7:46:44 AM PDT by Hegewisch Dupa
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Blythe Danner is gorgeous................


36 posted on 03/27/2014 7:51:40 AM PDT by Red Badger (LIberal is an oxymoron......................)
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To: SeekAndFind

My wife is in charge of uncoupling in our house.


37 posted on 03/27/2014 7:53:13 AM PDT by morphing libertarian
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To: SeekAndFind

“Mommy and Daddy just consciously uncoupled and I’m still stuck with the name Apple. At least it’s better than Microsoft.”


38 posted on 03/27/2014 7:55:09 AM PDT by Yaelle
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To: SeekAndFind

One good thing may come of this. Chris writes killer songs. If she broke his heart, we might expect some more classics from ColdPlay.


39 posted on 03/27/2014 7:55:57 AM PDT by Yaelle
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To: MissH

I would have been much more comfortable if they would have named their second child Banana or Grape.


Or Samsung?


40 posted on 03/27/2014 7:57:34 AM PDT by Yaelle
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To: Jack Hydrazine
Other celebrities that have discovered their ancestry on the show are Ashley Judd, Rosie O’Donnell, Sarah Jessica Parke, and Tim McGraw.

LIberals ALL.........................NBC: Nothing But Crap........................

41 posted on 03/27/2014 7:59:16 AM PDT by Red Badger (LIberal is an oxymoron......................)
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To: Yaelle; MissH

or Blackberry..................


42 posted on 03/27/2014 8:00:02 AM PDT by Red Badger (LIberal is an oxymoron......................)
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To: Rummyfan
The real Gwyneth Paltrow without makeup:


43 posted on 03/27/2014 8:00:42 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: MissH

Lol, pretty funny....but now they will consciously uncouple the confusion.


44 posted on 03/27/2014 8:01:25 AM PDT by Toespi
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To: Red Badger

Just keep in mind that those collectivist Yids are not having children at the rate the Orthodox are and for the most part are conservative. Those Leftists simply breed themselves out over time.

Leftists have about 0-2 children whereas religious people tend to have 2-4. The Haredi and Chassidic Yids start with at least 4 and go upwards of 10 and sometimes even more.

That’s why I encourage all conservative/traditional/religious people to have more children.


45 posted on 03/27/2014 8:03:57 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Genesis 1:28

New International Version

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”


46 posted on 03/27/2014 8:08:30 AM PDT by Red Badger (LIberal is an oxymoron......................)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

Here’s how I see it. A parent who divorces is making the child shed tears on her behalf. It’s wrong. Unless I’m married to a man given to violence or who abuses my child, there is a way to live together in order to maintain the integrity of the marriage. Also, God can repair any relationship if we are willing to live His way instead of ours.


47 posted on 03/27/2014 8:15:41 AM PDT by punknpuss
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To: Cheerio

IT’S A COOKBOOK!


48 posted on 03/27/2014 8:20:04 AM PDT by onedoug
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To: Jack Hydrazine
ust keep in mind that those collectivist Yids are not having children at the rate the Orthodox are and for the most part are conservative. Those Leftists simply breed themselves out over time. Leftists have about 0-2 children whereas religious people tend to have 2-4. The Haredi and Chassidic Yids start with at least 4 and go upwards of 10 and sometimes even more. That’s why I encourage all conservative/traditional/religious people to have more children.

The problem with this analysis is that most people with a lot of kids are on some sort of assistance. WIC and CHiP are very common among big families. Most of the big, religious, conservative families I know are Catholic and I'm telling you they are collecting the government bennies. Meanwhile, the typical liberal with 1 or 2 kids doesn't use them (or at least not as many). And what's more, the libs' kids are more likely to go on to high paying careers. Of course there are lots of exceptions, but next time you run into a big, conservative family (more than 5 kids), take a closer look. Odds are, they're getting by with some of your tax dollars.

I'm all for big families - my wife and I raised 11. And we did it without government assistance. But honestly, if we'd have qualified back in the day, I'm not so sure my wife wouldn't have wanted to take advantage of the handouts (of course that would have happened over my dead or mangled body). But there's no denying, times were tough for us, and my wife, as the household manager, had to bear the brunt of it. I'm not blaming these families for doing what they can to make their lives less difficult. In other words, many big families are raising more kids who feel like the government owes them a living - the parents may vote pro-life, pro trad marriage, pro-2nd amendment, but philosophically, they're very often libs and they're raising little libs.

49 posted on 03/27/2014 8:21:15 AM PDT by old and tired
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To: old and tired

I’ll keep that in mind!


50 posted on 03/27/2014 8:23:41 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
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