Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Vatican Canonizes Two Dead White Guys, Ignores Obama
The People's Cube ^

Posted on 04/28/2014 3:18:24 AM PDT by wetphoenix

While some undoubtedly ignorant people today made much ado about the nothing engendered in the Vatican's redundant elevation of two dead old white males into so-called "sainthood", reasonable people are asking a more important question: "Why was Barack Obama ignored?""It is obviously blatant racism," said a non-white hispanic writer for the famous and intellectually impressive New York Times. "After all," he added with less outrage than we had expected, "Obama won a NOBEL PRIZE FOR CHRISSAKES! If THAT doesn't qualify him for sainthood, what the hell does?""And by the way," he continued with more outrage than we had expected, "why the hell are you asking a MALE writer? Why don't you talk to some WOMYN, you sexist neanderthal?"Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) stated for the record, "This proves what I've been saying since I thought of it a couple of minutes ago," Reid said. "The Catholic Church is nothing but another front for the Koch Brothers. 'Koch' and 'Pope' are both spelled with 4 letters with an 'o' as the second letter. Do I have to draw you a picture?"Surprised by the controversy, apologists for the Catholic Church were quick to proffer the weak excuse that candidates must have miracles attributed to them, somehow implying that this requirement would rule Obama out. But even these non-believers have to concede that Obama's mere election to the presidency in mean, racist America was a divine event in itself, a supernatural occurrence only overshadowed by Saint Barack's greatest wonder of all, the Miracle of Free Healthcare for Everyone (aka the Affordable Care Act

(Excerpt) Read more at thepeoplescube.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: catholic; obama; racism; satire

1 posted on 04/28/2014 3:18:25 AM PDT by wetphoenix
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

Can’t he sign a Executive Order to make himself a Saint?


2 posted on 04/28/2014 3:21:07 AM PDT by kempster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

First Saint Obama...

then Saint Romney...

Then Saint Hillary..

and so on...


3 posted on 04/28/2014 3:31:26 AM PDT by Tennessee Nana
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

Our Bathhouse of St. Barry?


4 posted on 04/28/2014 3:40:51 AM PDT by Antihero101607
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

Point of order, is any approbation by mere mortals for a supreme deity even appropriate?


5 posted on 04/28/2014 3:42:33 AM PDT by Amagi (Lenin: "Socialized Medicine is the Keystone to the Arch of the Socialist State.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

Odds are 55-45 that this is satire.


6 posted on 04/28/2014 3:44:48 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Tennessee Nana; All
First Saint Obama...

I think that's already been taken care of by his people:


7 posted on 04/28/2014 3:47:36 AM PDT by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

And let's not forget this one:


8 posted on 04/28/2014 3:54:15 AM PDT by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

No living person can be declared a saint, ever.


9 posted on 04/28/2014 4:08:49 AM PDT by Biggirl (“Go, do not be afraid, and serve”-Pope Francis)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Izzy Dunne

100 - 0 would be more like it!!


10 posted on 04/28/2014 4:25:49 AM PDT by ontap
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: kempster

Satan owns him.


11 posted on 04/28/2014 4:31:59 AM PDT by Old Yeller (Why is Jon Corzine a free man?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Izzy Dunne
Odds?


12 posted on 04/28/2014 4:36:22 AM PDT by newfreep
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

Well, a first step on the road to sainthood usually involves a funeral. That said, I’ve said too much. BTW, hello to all my friends at the NSA.


13 posted on 04/28/2014 4:55:26 AM PDT by muir_redwoods (When I first read it, " Atlas Shrugged" was fiction)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: newfreep

Good one! Right to the point.


14 posted on 04/28/2014 5:12:19 AM PDT by RedMDer (May we always be happy and may our enemies always know it. - Sarah Palin, 10-18-2010)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

I think he’s gonna get voted in next time around. LOL!
I love the PC. Some sick funny stuff on their site.


15 posted on 04/28/2014 5:16:10 AM PDT by rktman (Ethnicity: Nascarian. Race: Daytonafivehundrian)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

Well, the one requirement to be canonized that can’t be gotten around is that you have to be dead. I would be thrilled for Obama, to step up, repent of all publicly, proclaim the Kingship of Christ, and the be taken down by a Muslim bullet on the spot before he can regress.


16 posted on 04/28/2014 5:24:26 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("I'm a Contra" -- President Ronald Reagan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

They could have at least included Saint Trayvon.


17 posted on 04/28/2014 5:39:31 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("The more numerous the laws, the more corrupt the government." --Tacitus)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

St.[sic] 0bama's REAL father

18 posted on 04/28/2014 5:42:08 AM PDT by The Sons of Liberty ("Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle?" - Patrick Henry, 1775)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Amagi
>" is any approbation by mere mortals for a supreme deity even appropriate?"

As appropriate as another man forgiving your sins.

19 posted on 04/28/2014 5:50:31 AM PDT by rawcatslyentist (Jeremiah 50:32 "The arrogant one will stumble and fall ; / ?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix


20 posted on 04/28/2014 6:10:05 AM PDT by Iron Munro (Malaysia Flight MH370 Black Box signals reported in Bermuda Triangle)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: rawcatslyentist
As appropriate as another man forgiving your sins.

Indeed. I put my faith in Him alone. I confess to Him alone. I ask for forgiveness from Him alone.

FMCDH(BITS)

21 posted on 04/28/2014 7:11:40 AM PDT by nothingnew (I fear for my Republic due to marxist influence in our government. Open eyes/see)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: nothingnew

-— As appropriate as another man forgiving your sins.
Indeed. I put my faith in Him alone. I confess to Him alone. I ask for forgiveness from Him alone. -—

That’s good. But Jesus gave his Apostles the authority to forgive AND retain sins. Jesus probably had a reason for doing so, since He is God.

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”


22 posted on 04/28/2014 7:23:45 AM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas ( Isaiah 22:22, Matthew 16:19, Revelation 3:7)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Biggirl
No living person can be declared a saint, ever.

The New Testament says otherwise...(partial listing)...

1 Corinthians 1:2 To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, with all who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours:

Romans 1:7 to all who are beloved of God in Rome, called as saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 16:15 Greet Philologus and Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas, and all the saints who are with them.

Romans 8:27 and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Philippians 4:21-22 Greet every saint in Christ Jesus. The brethren who are with me greet you. All the saints greet you, especially those of Caesar's household.

Colossians 1:26 that is, the mystery which has been hidden from the past ages and generations, but has now been manifested to His saints,

1 Timothy 5:10 having a reputation for good works; and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work.

1 Corinthians 14:33 for God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

Acts 9:32 Now as Peter was traveling through all those regions, he came down also to the saints who lived at Lydda.

Ephesians 1:1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the saints who are at Ephesus and who are faithful in Christ Jesus:

Colossians 1:2 To the saints and faithful brethren in Christ who are at Colossae: Grace to you and peace from God our Father.

Ephesians 5:3-4 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

Romans 16:2 that you receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and that you help her in whatever matter she may have need of you; for she herself has also been a helper of many, and of myself as well.

Romans 12:13 contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.

Romans 15:25-26 but now, I am going to Jerusalem serving the saints. For Macedonia and Achaia have been pleased to make a contribution for the poor among the saints in Jerusalem.

1 Corinthians 6:1 Does any one of you, when he has a case against his neighbor, dare to go to law before the unrighteous and not before the saints?

1 Corinthians 16:1-2 Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I directed the churches of Galatia, so do you also. On the first day of every week each one of you is to put aside and save, as he may prosper, so that no collections be made when I come.

2 Corinthians 9:1-2 For it is superfluous for me to write to you about this ministry to the saints; for I know your readiness, of which I boast about you to the Macedonians, namely, that Achaia has been prepared since last year, and your zeal has stirred up most of them.

Philippians 1:1 Paul and Timothy, bond-servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi, including the overseers and deacons:

Philippians 4:21 Greet every saint in Christ Jesus. The brethren who are with me greet you.

23 posted on 04/28/2014 7:40:31 AM PDT by Prov1322 (Enjoy my wife's incredible artwork at www.watercolorARTwork.com! (This space no longer for rent))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: St_Thomas_Aquinas

Thanks for your succinct response. Jesus did indeed grant the power to forgive sins when he breathed on his apostles, sent them the Holy Spirit, and then commissioned them.


24 posted on 04/28/2014 7:46:19 AM PDT by Gumdrop (~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Iron Munro

Oh I love it!


25 posted on 04/28/2014 8:54:30 AM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

Those pictures look like the saint in Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” video.


26 posted on 04/28/2014 12:26:45 PM PDT by Revenge of Sith
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Prov1322

My Bible says words like, “beloved”, “brothers,”and or “holy ones” . The title “saints” I would be very unconfortable with since that really should be reserved for the next life.


27 posted on 04/28/2014 1:13:03 PM PDT by Biggirl (“Go, do not be afraid, and serve”-Pope Francis)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: kempster

A Saint? A lowly Saint? For crying out loud; don’t you know he’s the messia?

He’s here to save us!

And doing a real bangup job of it too.


28 posted on 04/28/2014 1:23:10 PM PDT by AFreeBird
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: AFreeBird

Where was my head?


29 posted on 04/28/2014 2:13:52 PM PDT by kempster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

yeah, sainthood is for mere mortals, he’s going for god.


30 posted on 04/28/2014 2:15:27 PM PDT by tioga
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Izzy Dunne
...55-45...

I'll trump that with 100-100 in favor of satire!

31 posted on 04/29/2014 9:54:50 PM PDT by IIntense (WH)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: wetphoenix

George “W” Bush was driving down the road when he saw someone floundering in the river.
He walked out to the person who was struggling in 9 feet of water.
He helped the person to shore and left.

NEXT DAYS HEADLINE
‘BUSH CAN’T SWIM’
‘Republican leaves scene of accident’


32 posted on 04/29/2014 10:16:23 PM PDT by xrmusn ((6/98) --"On occasion, nothing said says a lot more than saying something".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson