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Why dads donít belong in the delivery room, and other lessons of childbirth learned by a father
National Post / The Telegraph ^ | July 3, 2014 | Neil Lyndon

Posted on 07/04/2014 8:42:07 PM PDT by canuck_conservative

... But then there’s a lot about labour that nobody puts in so many words. Nobody ever told me that after the birth, I would feel as shaken as if I’d been in a car crash. That was how I felt for about two days after my oldest son was born, 32 years ago.

I now see it as my fatherly, comradely duty to pass on that kind of information, sparing no gory detail, to young men about to see service in that war zone for the first time. Nobody else — certainly not those fluffy prenatal classes — will fill them in.

“You do know about the afterbirth?” I murmur solicitously, watching them go green with a certain satisfaction. Nobody told me. When it appeared — about five minutes after the main event — I was already cooing over my first-born son. “Dear God!” I exclaimed. “There’s another one arriving!”

New fathers also need to be told that, when they enter that room, they might not see daylight again for a long time; and also that, in the endless night to come, they are likely to witness sights no civilized man should ever see except in gruesome hand-to-hand combat with axe and pike.

My older daughter was born after 30 hours of labour in hospital, culminating in an emergency Caesarean with 18 medical staff in the operating theatre (plus my irrelevant self). The next day, I asked the Registrar: “How is it that we can calculate the weight and circumference of a planet 10 billion light years away, but we can’t know the weight of a baby before it’s born?” (He answered: “That’s an interesting question and I wish I could give you an answer, but what I can tell you is that, if this mother had been ....

(Excerpt) Read more at life.nationalpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: afterbirth; caesarian; childbirth; fathers
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Freeper comments welcome!
1 posted on 07/04/2014 8:42:07 PM PDT by canuck_conservative
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To: canuck_conservative

I watched every, wanting to implant the moments when my children entered the world. Nothing gory about it. It was wonderful.


2 posted on 07/04/2014 8:50:11 PM PDT by dinoparty
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To: canuck_conservative

“Surely no sensible woman would expect her husband to be anywhere else but a big cricket match”

Gotta love the Brits!

Most men today can’t imagine NOT being there for their kids’ births. But that wasn’t the case a few short decades ago. There shouldn’t be the pressure to be there, tho the husband’s role is to be an emotional support and strength to his wife.


3 posted on 07/04/2014 8:51:51 PM PDT by EDINVA
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To: canuck_conservative
as a woman, and a mother, I don't understand why fathers need to be in the delivery room,except as an assurance to the mother, who is in a scary situation among strangers prodding and poking her, hands restrained most often....

here are the facts......women carry babies inside, women give birth, women lose lots of blood doing it, and its very painful, and there is no sharing the pain.....

and to put the myth to bed about doctors "delivering" babies....MOTHERS give birth, the doc is there to catch the baby but he does not do the delivering....moms do that all by themselves....

I think it would be good to get back to male/female roles and stop thinking one sex can do it all OR needs to take part in every single thing..

4 posted on 07/04/2014 8:52:21 PM PDT by cherry
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Comment #5 Removed by Moderator

To: canuck_conservative
as a woman, and a mother, I don't understand why fathers need to be in the delivery room,except as an assurance to the mother, who is in a scary situation among strangers prodding and poking her, hands restrained most often....

here are the facts......women carry babies inside, women give birth, women lose lots of blood doing it, and its very painful, and there is no sharing the pain.....

and to put the myth to bed about doctors "delivering" babies....MOTHERS give birth, the doc is there to catch the baby but he does not do the delivering....moms do that all by themselves....

I think it would be good to get back to male/female roles and stop thinking one sex can do it all OR needs to take part in every single thing..

6 posted on 07/04/2014 8:52:46 PM PDT by cherry
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To: canuck_conservative

Fathers should not be forced or otherwise in the delivery room. I never allowed my husband anywhere near the delivery room. I felt this was a private moment between me and my babies.


7 posted on 07/04/2014 8:54:21 PM PDT by waxer1 (A Republic if you can keep it--Benjamin Franklin. Well we lost it.)
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To: cherry

how about it be left up to the wishes of the couple...


8 posted on 07/04/2014 8:57:01 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Embrace the Lion of Judah and He will roar for you and teach you to roar too. See my page.)
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To: cherry

In 99% of births that’s true; however in an emergency the doc sure does deliver the baby. It’s called a caesarean section. A doctor or nurse has got to monitor the baby’s and mother’s condition which can change in an instant, as it did with me. Absent that monitoring both the baby and I would have been goners.


9 posted on 07/04/2014 8:58:12 PM PDT by EDINVA
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To: dinoparty
My feelings as well. We had our first in 1985, a beautiful little daughter who has grown up to be a fine young lady. At the time, I really didn't want to be in the delivery room and was only there because my wife insisted and I didn't want to disappoint her.

It was a little gory because she had a C-Section. But when I was handed that beautiful little girl and rocked and sang to her until my wife awoke, I did a complete 180 on my initial inclination to avoid the delivery room.

You couldn't have kept me out for the next two.

10 posted on 07/04/2014 9:05:34 PM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: canuck_conservative

The father of mine went through classes, took me to hospital, promised to be with me and did not show up while I was in labor or for delivery and left hospital before I woke up. Explain that guys


11 posted on 07/04/2014 9:19:25 PM PDT by amihow
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To: amihow

I feel like we are missing the rest of the story.


12 posted on 07/04/2014 9:25:36 PM PDT by garyb
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To: canuck_conservative

I have 4 kids, all adults now. The first was born in a hospital after a really long labor. The next 3 came so quick, I actually delivered all 3 at home. The wife was so quick, she just had no time to get to the hospital. I am listed on their birth docs as father and physician.


13 posted on 07/04/2014 9:27:49 PM PDT by umgud (I couldn't understand why the ball kept getting bigger......... then it hit me.)
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To: waxer1
Fathers should not be forced or otherwise in the delivery room. I never allowed my husband anywhere near the delivery room. I felt this was a private moment between me and my babies.

I find that a remarkable sentiment. (I am a father of two.). My wife wanted me there, and had she not there would have been trouble between us, the babies being our blessing and our responsibility jointly. My life would be much poorer had I not been there.

14 posted on 07/04/2014 9:29:02 PM PDT by untenured
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To: canuck_conservative

It is quite obvious this guy did not grow up on a farm nor did he ever have a female pet. Surprised by the afterbirth? Really?


15 posted on 07/04/2014 9:38:25 PM PDT by HapaxLegamenon
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To: canuck_conservative

He was there at conception, he should be there at delivery.

Seriously, I cannot imagine a father who would not welcome being on the scene when his child takes his/her first breathe.

Of course, I know that many men these days couldn’t care less about the impending birth of their child.

And I am not a feminist. I am a realist.


16 posted on 07/04/2014 9:39:35 PM PDT by Reddy (B.O. stinks)
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To: canuck_conservative

I was very glad that my hubby was there for our two boys’ births. He provided moral support, comfort, and a clear head. Our older son went into distress and I ended up with emergency surgery. While I’m confident the medical team would have taken care of everything without his presence, I was more at ease knowing he was there and that he thinking clearly on our behalf. It was exhausting for him, and it’s a wonder I didn’t break any of his fingers during labor, but I know he wouldn’t have missed it for the world.


17 posted on 07/04/2014 9:43:40 PM PDT by Think free or die
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To: EDINVA

“...In 99% of births...”

Most places have C-section rates higher than twenty percent.

I saw five of my six children come into this world via rather uncomplicated deliveries and I wouldn’t have missed it. This writer must be on the wimpy side.

What gets me is that modern feminists can describe cold hospital delivery rooms as such a mean male conspiracy and give those MDs no credit for bringing death in childbirth for the mother to be extremely rare.


18 posted on 07/04/2014 9:44:44 PM PDT by Monterrosa-24 (...even more American than a French bikini and a Russian AK-47.)
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To: canuck_conservative

Watching my daughters being born were the most profound and beautiful experiences of my life. But I don’t think I’d ever want to see anybody else’s kids being born.


19 posted on 07/04/2014 9:46:36 PM PDT by baltiless
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To: canuck_conservative

I’ve been present at the births of all ten of my children, six of them at home.

Wouldn’t miss this most important of occasions for anything. It’s part of my job as a husband and father.


20 posted on 07/04/2014 9:46:53 PM PDT by EternalVigilance
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