Skip to comments.My daughter became a pro-life activist, but I couldn’t tell her I aborted her brother
Posted on 07/08/2014 11:37:15 AM PDT by wagglebee
Brice Griffin raised her children as pro-life activists, but it took her years to find the strength to tell them she aborted their older brother. (Courtesy of Stand True Ministries
On January 24, 2013, my daughter Zoe addressed the crowd at the March for Life Youth Rally in DC. Bryan Kemper of Stand True Pro-Life Outreach had been mentoring her for several months and she was already set on the path of a pro-life activist. She aimed to encourage young people to stand up and join her in the fight against abortion. When she said, “because what if my mother had had an abortion?,” Bryan looked at me with a look that said, “You need to tell her NOW.”
Ten months later, decompressing after an event in Lapeer, Michigan, I found myself having what had come to be a very familiar conversation. Bryan would ask me to speak at an event, I would say yes, and he would ask me to consider telling my children about my abortion. There was a point where I began to feel more bold, thinking that I was on the verge of finding the perfect moment, but that point had passed. My husband and I had already decided that we weren’t ready for that discussion.
“Would you consider speaking at the March for Life alongside Alveda King?” Bryan asked. “Of course; I’d love to,” was my typical response. “Are you gonna tell your kids before January?”
Nope. I was able to declare that without a doubt I absolutely would not have the courage to tell my babies that I’d aborted my first child, and I especially would not find that courage within the next two months. What are you, crazy? Just, no.
How could I tell them? What would they think of me? What woman can tell her children that abortion is murder and murder is wrong but not in my case, because I was pro-choice then and I was young and I didn’t know what to do…
“I can’t ask you to speak again until you’ve told your kids. It’s Silent No More’s policy.”
I get it. I know exactly why that policy is in place. And I will take a hiatus from speaking publicly. Period. And without question.
My children have always been willing to participate in pro-life activism with me. Children see the issue in the clearest and simplest terms. Abortion is killing a child. Killing a child is wrong. For years I have stood on the sidewalk pleading to mothers and fathers to reconsider their choice. Once, when he was about four, Jackson yelled, “DON’T GO TO ABORTION!” In 2012, Zoe made headlines in the pro-life news for standing up to some pro-abortion protestors at the DNC. They are staunchly and steadfastly PRO-LIFE. I could not be more proud.
But I was ashamed.
They didn’t know that their own mother had once been on the other side of the sidewalk. And how could I tell them? What would they think of me? What woman can tell her children that abortion is murder and murder is wrong but not in my case, because I was pro-choice then and I was young and I didn’t know what to do… So I chose to end the life of your oldest brother out of mere convenience.
I knew that I had support. I had some pretty amazing people praying for me. Bryan would send a text message, “Here I am with Kevin Burke (founder of Rachel’s Vineyard) and we are praying that you find the words to tell your children.” “Father Pavone and I are praying for you to have the talk with your kids.” “Georgette (co-founder of Silent No More) and I are praying about what we discussed before.” After a while I would roll my eyes, and then smile in thanks that I had these warriors praying for me.
Finally, I asked my Priest if he thought I should at least have the talk with Zoe, my oldest. He said, “I would be 100% surprised if she had no idea. She has to know.” I told him, “Uh, she’s almost 13 and I just told her about Santa. She cried herself to sleep and didn’t talk to me for two days.” But he encouraged me to pray about it and consider telling her about my past. When I woke up the next morning, I was certain that before I went to sleep that night, I would have unloaded this horrible secret to my daughter.
On Wednesday, January 8, nearly a year after Zoe spoke at the Stand True event, we arrived at the Cathedral to drop my younger three at Faith Formation and I told Zoe that we needed to talk. She almost began to cry as she panicked and asked, “Are we going to talk about puberty? Because I do NOT want to talk about PUBERTY!” I couldn’t help but laugh as I told her to hush and sit down.
Tissue in hand, I recounted the memory of my abortion to my firstborn. I was bawling. Zoe was stone-faced. Assuming that we would hug and cry together for the entire 90 minutes that her siblings were in class, I was kind of surprised to find myself spent after about ten minutes. “Do you have any questions?” “No.” “Are you OK?” “Yes.” “Do you forgive me?” “Yes. I’d like to speak with Father Rossi.” And with that, we called Father Rossi. He suggested that we might find comfort in spending time with Our Lord, and we headed into Adoration. Side by side, on our knees, I thanked Jesus profoundly and repeatedly for this young woman, and for her understanding and her compassion and for His grace and His mercy and His love. As I settled in to the pew, I watched in awe as Zoe stared at Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and continued to pray. She prayed and prayed and prayed. Months later, after only a question or two had been asked about my experience, Zoe came to me and said, “Adoration is what helped me when you told me about your abortion.” As we left Adoration that evening, we agreed that her siblings (Lily, 11, Bella, 9 and Jackson, 7) were not ready for the news.
As I so often do, I rushed home to share my experience on Facebook. I attached a link to my testimony, which had been published a year and a half earlier. Sitting in front of my laptop, I had no idea that Jackson was behind me until he asked, “Is that a picture of you? Why are you holding a sign that says, ‘I REGRET MY ABORTION’? Did you have an abortion?”
I panicked. In that moment, I silently prayed, “Lord, please guide me. I will no longer hide this from my children. Help.” And I said, “Yes. I did have an abortion.” And I held my breath.
Jackson continued, “Wait. Did you have to get a SHOT?” What? “Yes, Buddy, I did.” Returning to his homework, he said, “How do you spell ‘Guido’?” I was a little bit stunned. “G. U. I. D. O.” He dropped his pencil and said, “I’m finished with my homework!” And he ran upstairs to take a shower.
I laughed to myself and thanked God that was over. I was only mildly surprised to find out later that of course it WAS NOT OVER. As Lily and Bella hovered around me waiting to be tucked in for the night, Jackson declared, “Did you know Mama had an abortion?!” Lily looked at me when she addressed him and said, “No she didn’t. She only got her tubes tied. Wait. Did you have an abortion?” And this is when the severity of the situation set in for Jackson. Immediately crying, he ran upstairs to his room. I pulled up the website with my testimony and told Lily and Bella to read it together, and come upstairs to ask me any questions they might have.
As I approached Jackson’s bedroom door, I heard Zoe comforting him. Out of their sight, I listened as she said, “Don’t be upset, Buddy. Everyone makes mistakes but we can learn from them. Mama has been to Confession and she is sorry for what she did but she’s making it right through the work she does now.” I was absolutely stunned. Again I thanked Jesus for this amazing young woman, and I walked into Jackson’s room. He didn’t hesitate to throw his arms around my neck. Lily and Bella joined us and I asked if they had any questions. We talked about David James and asked him to pray for us and for all women considering abortion. We cried. We laughed. We prayed. We hugged.
I let out a huge sigh and asked if everyone was OK. My lovely children beamed at me and Jackson said, “Mama, if you have any more secrets, can you please keep them to yourself? I don’t like it when you cry.” I promised him that I don’t have ANY MORE secrets. I was free. Silent no more.
Reprinted with permission from StandTrue.com.
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Sorry, weird... stil weird even after my correction.
Amazing Grace, How great the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I’m found. Was blind but now I see.
What on earth gave you the impression that it was my life?
not meant at you just lady in article. sorry.
Yes, you can find forgiveness and healing...just for the asking...
...even for abortion! Kyrie Eleison!
You’re wrong. More women who have had abortions and regret it should speak up about the horror of the aftermath. They finally realize it wasn’t a glob of cells, it was their child.
Are your parents Pro-Choice? I guess you got lucky!
Moving. Heartfelt. Spiritual.
Your life or not, that’s not important.
What is important is this is a story that needs to be shared.
You’ve been here ten years and you haven’t noticed that most posts are made in reply to the first post and most posts are a response to the article content not the person who posted the thread? Good grief!
Fine, but why don’t you talk to your family instead of whoring yourself out to face book?
Facebook is liberal and needs the truth all over it. Talking to those of like mind does nothing. Beard the lion in it’s den so to speak.
These people need to tell everyone how they were LIED TO about it being a simple “procedure” and never told how it would scar them for life
Many who go throguh this are not told of the serious mental problems suffered by a large portion of them. I know of only one person who had it done who did NOT have regrets and she was the most evil thing I ever met
Ok I’m stupid..... I do not get what you just said.
Telling her family is preaching to the choir. The people that need to hear it frequent liberal Facebook.
Feeling a little pissy today, are we?
We're all sorry you don't like people pasting their lives out on Facebook, but I would suggest that this is not the place for you to be quite so pointed about it.
She could have told them. She just didn’t.
telling it on FB makes one housewives of whatever city. Stop broadcasting your stuff for all and deal with your issues in house, jees......
Tragic tale, but just goes to show how the Lord transforms people
No. Liberals need to be “schooled” and FB reaches a lot of them.
How about, "Abortion is murder and murder is wrong and I know because I murdered my first child, but God can forgive even a murderer if you truly repent and ask His forgiveness."
I’m not a big fan of people telling their children of their horrendous mistakes in youth. Children need to be children and expect the best of their parents. That’s just me, of course.
I generally agree, UNLESS there is a possibility of them finding out from someone else.
There are mistakes I made as a youth that no one else knows about and no one ever will. Then there are mistakes that I made that were known to other family members. I told my children about these because I did not want them to someday hear about them from a cousin.
12 Now when he heard that John had been arrested, he withdrew into Galilee; 13 and leaving Nazareth he went and dwelt in Caper′na-um by the sea, in the territory of Zeb′ulun and Naph′tali, 14 that what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled: 15 The land of Zeb′ulun and the land of Naph′tali, toward the sea, across the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles 16 the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, and for those who sat in the region and shadow of death light has dawned. 17 From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
27 After this he went out, and saw a tax collector, named Levi, sitting at the tax office; and he said to him, Follow me. 28 And he left everything, and rose and followed him. 29 And Levi made him a great feast in his house; and there was a large company of tax collectors and others sitting at table[d] with them. 30 And the Pharisees and their scribes murmured against his disciples, saying, Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners? 31 And Jesus answered them, Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
3 So he told them this parable: 4 What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost. 7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
Take it easy.
It got me thinking about a friend of mine from long ago who I just reconnected with. She had an abortion when I knew her (cut me off when I objected) but now has grown daughters. I’d cut my tongue out before telling them. Unfortunately, my friend is probably still happily pro-abortion and has probably told her kids. As a parent, I just couldn’t do that. Just me, I’m afraid.
well we’ll just have to agree to disagree. FB is bad.
What about mass murder? Can we be forgiven if we kill all the leftists in America?
I really would like to know.
What a horribly, devastatingly awful thing to have to tell one’s children.
IMHO, even a mass murderer can be forgiven by God if he recognizes his sin, truly repents, and prays for His forgiveness. But that doesn't mean that he can or should be forgiven by man.
David Berkowitz, a.k.a. the "Son of Sam" comes to mind. It is possible that he has truly repented. If so, then I believe that God has forgiven him. But that doesn't mean that he should ever get out of prison. A truly repentant murderer can do a lot of good spending the rest of his life in prison.
Even if Pol Pot converted he still deserved to be deposed and executed.
Act of self defense?
The more people understand and speak out in all avenues the better. You are part of the problem and she is courageous enough to be discuss her deepest shame.
Pray America wakes up
What a story!
Wonderful story and I think she is incredibly brave, but I have one question.
Where is her husband, where is the father of those children?
If that kind of an emotional bomb blew up in my house, I would be right there to help pick up the pieces and support everyone. Where is he?
anyone that tells their family they had an abortion are sugar coating the truth...they should start by telling their family they murdered their older brother...