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Argentina’s Javier Mascherano says he tore his anus playing against the Netherlands
O Canada.com ^ | July 11, 2014 | Ishmael N. Daro

Posted on 07/11/2014 9:08:00 AM PDT by Loyalist

Javier Mascherano’s game-saving slide tackle in Wednesday’s World Cup semifinal match came at a heavy price.

The Argentine player, who likely suffered a concussion earlier in the game, says he later tore his anus when he stopped Netherlands forward Arjen Robben’s attack late in extra time.

He shared the unfortunate news in a post-match press conference.

A rough translation of his remarks: “I do not want to be rude … I tore the anus that play. That’s why I felt so much pain””

It’s not clear whether Mascherano can (or should) play in Sunday’s final against Germany, but his stellar performance against the Dutch did not go unnoticed. The Guardian’s Michael Cox hailed the Barcelona midfielder as the “man of the match by some distance,” although the official honour went to the Argentine goalkeeper Sergio Romero for his superb performance during the penalty shootout that secured Argentina’s win.

(Excerpt) Read more at o.canada.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: anus; argentina; napl; worldcup
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TMI.

But seriously folks, this should put to rest all the claims that soccer is somehow a sissy sport. When did you ever see someone go on the DL or be questionable for this reason?

1 posted on 07/11/2014 9:08:01 AM PDT by Loyalist
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To: Loyalist

Maybe it’s not a sissy sport, but admitting you tore your anus is questionable.


2 posted on 07/11/2014 9:09:46 AM PDT by stevio (God, guns, guts.)
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To: Loyalist

An anus injury? That sound very gay. This proves that soccer is a sport for homosexuals. Football players from other heterosexual sports never have injuries like that.


3 posted on 07/11/2014 9:09:49 AM PDT by Greetings_Puny_Humans (I mostly come out at night... mostly.)
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To: Loyalist

There are worse ways to have your anus torn.


4 posted on 07/11/2014 9:11:03 AM PDT by twhitak
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To: Loyalist

This guy should join the new State Department under Obama!

They are always flying the rainbow flag and tearing up each other’s anus’s.


5 posted on 07/11/2014 9:11:38 AM PDT by LucianOfSamasota (Tanstaafl - its not just for breakfast anymore...)
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To: Loyalist

Gives new meaning to the term “butt hurt.”


6 posted on 07/11/2014 9:12:48 AM PDT by mojito (Zero, our Nero.)
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To: Loyalist

But seriously folks, this should put to rest all the claims that soccer is somehow a sissy sport

...not really...


7 posted on 07/11/2014 9:13:54 AM PDT by IrishBrigade (')
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To: Loyalist
says he later tore his anus

He will be flown to San Francisco where the world's leading anus repair experts can be found.

8 posted on 07/11/2014 9:15:19 AM PDT by Cementjungle
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To: Loyalist

There’s a title I though I’d never see.


9 posted on 07/11/2014 9:15:21 AM PDT by Moonman62 (The US has become a government with a country, rather than a country with a government.)
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To: Loyalist
I would like to hear from a proctologist.
10 posted on 07/11/2014 9:16:00 AM PDT by immadashell (The inmates are running the asylum.)
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To: Loyalist

Talk about playing your ass off...


11 posted on 07/11/2014 9:17:36 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: martin_fierro; Slings and Arrows

Torn Anus Ping.


12 posted on 07/11/2014 9:18:34 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Loyalist
Paraphrasing Nathan Hale (ducking):

I am so satisfied with the cause in which I have engaged that my only regret is that I have not more anuses than one to offer in its service.

13 posted on 07/11/2014 9:19:55 AM PDT by Zhang Fei (Let us pray that peace be now restored to the world and that God will preserve it always.)
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To: Loyalist

Mash your ano?


14 posted on 07/11/2014 9:20:54 AM PDT by radioactivereb ("I'm tryin' to think but nothin' happens!"-Curly Howard)
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To: Loyalist

Good God...if that ever happened to me I’d never announce it publicly.I probably wouldn’t even tell my doctor.


15 posted on 07/11/2014 9:21:21 AM PDT by SayNoToDems (Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We're only seeing singing Hitlers.)
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To: Loyalist

Is he blaming this on the guys backing him up or the rear guard???


16 posted on 07/11/2014 9:21:26 AM PDT by Uncle Chip
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To: Loyalist

He brought his A-nus game.


17 posted on 07/11/2014 9:25:32 AM PDT by tflabo (Truth or tryranny)
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To: Loyalist

Well, that’s ONE way to explain it........................


18 posted on 07/11/2014 9:27:23 AM PDT by Red Badger (I've posted a total of 2,759 threads and 85,158 replies...............)
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To: Red Badger

Did he mean in the showers?


19 posted on 07/11/2014 9:30:16 AM PDT by hal ogen (First Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
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To: Loyalist
Gayest.
Injury.
Ever.
20 posted on 07/11/2014 9:31:24 AM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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