Skip to comments.Lying Commies
Posted on 07/18/2014 2:00:30 PM PDT by nickcarraway
UNDER capitalism, ran the old Soviet-era joke, man exploits man. Under communism it is just the opposite. In fact new research suggests that the Soviet system inspired not just sarcasm but cheating too: in East Germany, at least, communism appears to have inculcated moral laxity.
Lars Hornuf of the University of Munich and Dan Ariely, Ximena García-Rada and Heather Mann of Duke University ran an experiment last year to test Germans willingness to lie for personal gain. Some 250 Berliners were randomly selected to take part in a game where they could win up to 6 ($8).
The game was simple enough. Each participant was asked to throw a die 40 times and record each roll on a piece of paper. A higher overall tally earned a bigger payoff. Before each roll, players had to commit themselves to write down the number that was on either the top or the bottom side of the die.
(Excerpt) Read more at economist.com ...
When you wait in line all day to get a stale loaf of bread and only have to spend some money on the black market for vodka you start to learn that working AROUND the system is the best hope for getting ANYTHING of VALUE....
This surprises anyone? Socialist policies are indistinguishable from armed robbery.
UNDER capitalism, ran the old Soviet-era joke, man exploits man. Under communism it is just the opposite.
Is there a book of Sarcastic Soviet Joeks, I would totally buy it.
Under Communism the Dull and Bland Exist and the Clever Cheat to end up in power.
This leads to the most devious and sociopathic people to rise to the top of leadership positions.
In Captialism and Republics, there is more Competition between the honest and is-honest on their way up the ladder ot power.
Under Communism it is a Monopoly of the devious.
That was funny, you put a smile on my face.
I like some of the comments on the article over at the economist. One fellow by the username of Zbyhnev shares a “cute little saying” from communist nations:
“Whoever does not steal from the state is stealing from his family.”
That comment certainly does illustrate the unfortunate necessities when one lives under a government that sustains itself by robbing you and sucking your life’s blood. Support the state, and society at large, or support yourself and your family. Such incentives breed dysfunction in society.
When the state wages war upon the people, when the state steals from the people, then the only way the people can survive is by stealing from and waging war upon the state.
Good communities are not built by theft and extortion, either by state actors or individuals. Good, strong communities are built by people with common interests, a common culture, and a common faith. The more adversarial you make society, the less capable society becomes.
A Soviet citizen asks the Commissar, Is it possible to build socialism in the United States?
Is possible, replies the Commissar, but then where would we buy our wheat?
I was to learn that no matter the color of the skin, the sound of the language or the place of the meeting, a Communist anywhere was just the same as every other Communist...
...The function was to lie, cheat, kill if necessary, to eat away at the strength of the free world and add that much to the strength of the Communist world.
- Mark W. Clark, From The Danube to the Yalu, p.18
Regulations against using one’s property, building a home or beginning to produce something useful: the framework of a more complicated and sticky fascism. Fascism and communism are the same in essence to Americans. In either kind of system, though, determined, moral and technical capable individuals can eventually prosper and depose the crooks.
A bunch of them here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_political_jokes
We pretend to work, and they pretend to pay us.
Q: What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and USSR? Both of them guarantee freedom of speech.
A: Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.
Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. “Who sneezed?” Silence. “First row! On your feet! Shoot them!” They are shot, and he asks again, “Who sneezed, Comrades?” No answer. “Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!” They are shot too. “Well, who sneezed?” At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, “It was me! Me!” Stalin says, “Bless you, Comrade!”
A Soviet man is waiting in line to purchase vodka from a liquor store, but due to restrictions imposed by Gorbachev, the line is very long. The man loses his composure and screams, “I can’t take this waiting in line anymore, I HATE Gorbachev, I am going to the Kremlin right now, and I am going to kill him!” After 40 minutes the man returns and elbows his way back to his place in line. The crowd begin to ask if he has succeeded in killing Gorbachev. “No, I got to the Kremlin all right, but the line to kill Gorbachev was far even longer than here.
Five precepts of the Soviet intelligentsia (intellectuals):
If you think, then don’t speak.
If you think and speak, then don’t write.
If you think, speak and write, then don’t sign.
If you think, speak, write and sign, then don’t be surprised.
An old woman asks her granddaughter: “Granddaughter, please explain Communism to me. How will people live under it? They probably teach you all about it in school.” “Of course they do, Granny. When we reach Communism, the shops will be full there’ll be butter, and meat, and sausage . . . you’ll be able to go and buy anything you want...” “Ah!” exclaimed the old woman joyfully. “Just like under the Tsar!”
In a prison, two inmates are comparing notes. “What did they arrest you for?” asks the first. “Was it a political or common crime?” “Of course it was political. I’m a plumber. They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, ‘Hey, the entire system needs to be replaced.’ So they gave me seven years.”
A frightened man came to the KGB. “My talking parrot has disappeared.” “That’s not the kind of case we handle. Go to the criminal police.” “Excuse me, of course I know that I must go to them. I am here just to tell you officially that I disagree with the parrot.”
A man walks into a shop and asks, “I see you don’t have any fish”. The shop assistant replies, “You’ve got it wrong ours is a butcher’s shop: we don’t have any meat. Where they don’t have any fish is in the fish shop across the road!”
“Dad, can I have the car keys?” / “OK, but don’t lose them. We will get the car in only seven years!”
“I want to sign up for the waiting list for a car. How long is it?” / “Precisely ten years from today.” / “Morning or evening?” / “Why, what difference does it make?” / “The plumber’s due in the morning”.
I have a few more:
A rumor started that a butcher’s shop in Moscow would actually be receiving a shipment of meat, so a huge queue formed. The shop-keeper, distressed by the queue, came out, and announced, “Comrades! There is less meat than expected. All the Jews will have to go home.” The queue thins out a bit. After a while, the shop-keeper again came out and announce, “Comrades! There is even less meat than we had at first thought. Everyone who is not a Party member will have to go home!” The queue thins considerably. At a loss, the shop-keeper finally announces. “Comrades! There is far, far less meat than we had anticipated. Everyone who is not a veteran of the October Revolution will have to go home.” Three old Bolsheviks hobble up. The shop-keeper is horrified, and confesses to them “Comrades, I’ve very sorry. There isn’t actually any meat.” One of the old Bolsheviks turns to the other two, and says, “See, it’s what I’ve been telling you: the Jews get the best of everything!”
And, a joke which seems to be the only remnant of the brief tenure of Stalin’s immediate successor Malenkov:
Three prisoners in a Siberian labor camp start discussing why they are in the camp. “I was denounced and convicted for supporting Malenkov,” says the first. The second replies, “I’m here because I opposed Malenkov.” They turn to their fellow, “What are you in for?” “I’m Malenkov.”
“In my country, we have freedom of speech”
“In your country, you have freedom AFTER speech”