Skip to comments.Utah s new custody law aimed at giving both parents equal responsibility
Posted on 05/18/2015 9:51:19 PM PDT by rickyrikardo
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” People just need to grow up and make marriage decisions based on more than sexual attraction”
Well, failing this (we failed), now what ?
Sadly, yes we have failed (at that?). I’m not sure it is as simple as that though.
Relationships are tough. You can date someone for a long time, and then things change when you live together.
It takes commitment to make it work. Some folks think it just works if you find the right person. I disagree.
You have to monitor yourself. You have to at least periodically ask yourself if your dissatisfaction with the other person is them or you?
Are they really as big a problem as I think, or am I unhappy and in need of an attitude adjustment?
Even good people can decline into a funk without meaning to, and focus on something a bad way, when it could be seen a number of decent ways too.
We generally find the happiness we’re looking for. We can easily find the unhappiness we’re looking for in our mates too.
“I’m going to make her happy, generally winds up making you happy too.”
I think folks forget this simple goal. It is very costly when they do.
Quit thinking they have to make you happy. It’s you that makes you happy in good relationships.
Obviously a person can marry a heavy drinker and run into problems, or other extremely negative things can come up, so you can’t always foresee problems. You can’t happy-time your way out of some situations.
I just think we get in a funk and act to rashly sometimes.
Whatever trouble you have with one person, you’ll generally have that same problem or a different one with the next. You have to communicate and work through your problems.
If after a lot of work you can’t, then sure, sadly, you will have to move on. You really do have to make sure you have your head on level to do this though, or you’re going to screw up what could be a good thing if you’re not very careful.
Sound advice to be sure. When one marries in their early to mid twenties,(me 25) they often make mistakes that experience would have taught them not to do. One of those mistakes could be marrying a gal from Malibu who was spoiled rotten......
I like what Dr Laura says....Abuse...Adultery...Addiction...those should be the reasons for divorce (I experienced 2.5 of 3)
” (I experienced 2.5 of 3)”
Adultery...abuse...and a growing addiction problem by my ex caused me to exit the marriage.
Sounds like you made a good decision.
Best of luck to you.
Men need to fight for full custody more often. ,ost men roll over when they should grow a spine. The courts should be gender blind.
Fathers are irreplaceable. So are moms. I had joint legal and physical custody. The only person who ignored the divorce decree was my ex.
I would have prefered full custody but that may have started a fight i calculated a 40% chance of losing. Risk was too great so I gave her the house if she agreed on joint custody. Lost $ but kept close to the kids. Hope it was right.
Ha. It was about 40 years ago...found a great husband...and my son turned out great...surviving joint custody to become a great Dad...because...I insisted he have a relationship with his Dad and his Dad’s family. Extended families are very important in divorces...I grew up in a divorced family with estrangement from my Dad...and my paternal grandparents...and have never really forgiven my mother for that. A child needs both parents and their families.
” A child needs both parents and their families.”
We see the results when this fails.