What you miss is this highlights the nature of need. You understand your own needs but are unaware of the other person.
Grandma had basic needs unfullfilled. Sonny was inept. The violent extent mother went to announce her needs loudly, demonstrates a lot goes on we are unaware of.
Pethaps Grandma would have been better off with an empathic daughter than an isolating son.
Sometimes even the most empathetic aren’t safe. Dementia isn’t classed as a mental illness, and that is unfortunate in the respect that certain dementia patients aren’t treated with the concern given to mentally ill patients who are a danger to themselves and/or others.