Posted on 01/28/2019 5:57:40 PM PST by huckfillary
I recently posted the following meme and was asked to expand:
How to survive a narcissist: Reality is what it is. Not what the narcissist claims it is. Objectivity trumps toxic.
My point: You’re less subject to narcissists or other toxic people if you’re confident and competent in the use of your own objective, reasoning mind.
Consider the narcissists in our government. They want us to believe we cannot exist without them. They want us to believe we are helpless, perpetually vulnerable people who cannot possibly cope — without their stupid, economy-thrashing, initiative-killing, Constitution-bashing programs.
If you’re confident in your mind, you’re suspicious of such claims from the start. “This person says I can’t cope or live without him. What’s in this for him? Is it possible he’s selling me a bill of goods?”
I work with people in therapy all the time who have narcissistic or otherwise toxic people in their lives. When I point out the irrational, controlling or otherwise improper behavior of people in their lives, they are often surprised. It’s because they’ve been duped. Their failure to see this — at least before now — usually boils down to some version of the premise, “Who am I to judge? Who am I to think?”
That’s the mentality any narcissist counts on. The narcissist wants what he wants. We all do, and that’s fine — so far as it goes. But at the core, the narcissist doesn’t want you to have your own wants, needs and desires. He just wants his own fulfilled. He’ll lie about it, and pretend that he’s really interested in only your wants and needs, when in fact he’s really only interested in his own. The sin isn’t in the fact he has self-interest. We all should have self-interest and self-preservation. The sin is in the fact that he’s perpetrating a fraud, pretending to care about your interests and needs when he cares nothing about those at all.
A strong, objective sense of reality, facts and perspective prevents you from falling into the trap of a narcissist. A narcissist can be brilliant at creating a false narrative. “You need me, and I am here to take care of you” is the most common version of this narrative. The narrative could not get anywhere without self-doubt, on your own part, to keep it going.
Self-doubt is the fuel that gives the narcissist power. Without self-doubt on your part, the narcissists would wither away into nothing. What causes your self-doubt is your reluctance to look at facts and assert their relevance, even when those facts clash with the false narrative being spread by the narcissist.
It’s not the presence of a self in people that causes narcissism. It’s the absence of a self in YOU that gives the narcissists opportunity to be who they are. Fix your self-doubt, and strengthen your objectivity. It will help you keep narcissists at bay, as well as a lot of other toxic things in life.
Wait until he’s out of office and no longer president, like 0bama.
I usually ignore a Narcissist. Eventually they get the idea and go away.
Good advice.
It takes a narcissist to try to outdo a narcissist.
This is discriminatory towards narcissists.
Hey sparky, Trump isn’t the problem in our government.
Didn’t see all this hand-wringing when Obama was _resident.
People think Trump is the problem. LOL
Obama thought he was Jesus Christ, but he didn’t take any responsibility one day while in office.
Jesus Christ took all the responsibility.
I’m so sick of folks trying to psychoanalyze Trump. They do so because he is self-assured. He is because he’s confident and knows what he’d doing.
Obama didn’t have a clue from day one.
Sometimes it’s easy to confuse narcissism and jaded genius. If it’s a real narcissist it can be manipulated with egocentric techniques. If it’s a jaded genius it’s probably manipulating you.
— Sometimes it’s easy to confuse narcissism and jaded genius. If it’s a real narcissist it can be manipulated with egocentric techniques. If it’s a jaded genius it’s probably manipulating you. —
Pure gold.
Punch him in the nose until he’s so deformed a look in the mirror will give him pause...
Hey yerself ... I was alluding to 0bama.
I think much of what is called narcissism today is actually a result of widespread Dunning-Kruger.
As Reagan said...they know so much that isn't so. And they can't STAND even the IDEA that someone who disagrees with them could be RIGHT.
“Wait until he’s out of office and no longer president, like 0bama.”
I’ll just say that you have obviously never had a narcissist as a close relative and leave it at that.
I was referring to 0bama. He showed us all what narcissism is all about.
Reminds me of my worthless Brother-in-law (If you know him he probably owes you money).
Once when he was napping, his wife looked at him and said...”I love you!”
He woke and said...”I love me too!” then he kissed his arm from shoulder to the elbow with a dozen kisses.
He could not understand why his wife suddenly started sadly crying.
(Emily Litella voice) “Nevermind!”
I agree...
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