Howard Schultz Gives Dems the Jitters: These kids are venti, venti upset. Need to switch to decaf!

PJ Media ^ | 01/30/2019 | Jim Treacher

[SeekAndFind]

As a member of the Second-Greatest Generation, I vaguely remember H. Ross Perot. He was the funny little fella with the big ears who ran for president as an independent back in 1992. He was a Texas billionaire who made his money in computers, long before everybody had computers in their pockets, and he had never held public office. He seemed to be running for president because... well, because he damn well felt like it, that's why. As I recall, his solution to all of America's problems at the time was simple: "Fix it. Just fix it. What are you people lollygaggin' around for? Just fix the dang thing!"* I'm pretty sure that's as detailed as his platform ever got. Most people didn't think Perot could win, except of course the 20 million Americans who voted for him. Today he's remembered, if he's remembered at all, as the man who probably cost George H.W. Bush a second term. If not for Perot, Bill Clinton would be a footnote instead of a DNA splotch. Perot proved that one man can change the course of human history just by being a pest.

That's why I find it amusing that another possible independent candidate is driving Dems crazy today. All the people who voted for Hillary Clinton, who would be blessedly forgotten by now if the 1992 election had been a two-way race, are panicking at the idea that 2020 might not be a two-way race.

Enter ex-Starbucks chairman and #RaceTogether mastermind Howard Schultz:

I love our country, and I am seriously considering running for president as a centrist independent.

— Howard Schultz (@HowardSchultz) January 28, 2019

Closely followed by all the libs freaking out about Howard Schultz running for president:

Heckler yells at Howard Schultz: “Don’t help elect Trump, you egotistical billionaire asshole!” pic.twitter.com/Fmlj7ng7HD

— Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) January 29, 2019

Literally 30 seconds into Howard Schultz’s appearance in NY, there’s a heckler telling him “don’t re-elect Trump.” The heckler also mentions how Schultz keeps getting ratio-ed. pic.twitter.com/Q6FUnT8YX8

— Max Tani (@maxwelltani) January 29, 2019

Imagine being so arrogant and unpatriotic to even consider such a vanity campaign. https://t.co/P4lU3LFBEQ

— Ian Millhiser (@imillhiser) January 26, 2019

"Arrogant and unpatriotic." "Reckless idiocy." "Go back to getting ratioed on Twitter." Damn. There's even talk of a Starbucks boycott. These kids are venti, venti upset. They need to switch to decaf!

All I know about Schultz is that he's responsible for some of Starbucks' more boneheaded moves in recent years, from trying to end racism by writing a hashtag on paper cups to trying to end racism by opening their bathrooms to one and all. We still have racism despite Schultz's efforts, but at least he gave it a try. I have no idea what the words "centrist" or "independent" even mean anymore, but "Hey, at least I'm not those other two clowns" will be enough for some people to vote for him.

I hate both parties fairly equally, so at this point I'm just in it for the chaos. I just wanna watch everybody get #triggered. Schultz has the potential to piss off a lot of snowflakes on both sides, so I say good for him. Plus, all the coffee puns will wear out their welcome quickly, which will annoy even more people. Tee-hee!

Can he win? Nope. Will his candidacy matter at all? Maybe. He could end up being another Perot. But then, it's not 1992, Trump isn't Bush, and the Dem candidate won't be Bill Clinton. (No, he can't run again. Sorry, libs.) After Hillary's devastating failure in 2016, it's more obvious than ever that nobody knows what they're talking about, least of all me.

I guess that would be my advice to all the libs who are triggered by Howard Schultz right now: Don't worry about it, because nobody knows anything.

At this point, I'm used to getting everything wrong. It's not so bad once you encase yourself in an impenetrable cocoon of passive-aggressive irony. Election 2020: Shrug Emoji!

*This isn't a direct quote. Might be from Dana Carvey? After a while, the candidate and the SNL parody blur together. Just ask Sarah Palin.

[Dilbert San Diego]

Grande, venti, I always am amused they use such names, as opposed to small, medium, large.

[DesertRhino]

“Today he’s remembered, if he’s remembered at all, as the man who probably cost George H.W. Bush a second term”

God, what a tragedy. /s

[Celerity]

Venti is “20” in Italian, is it not ?

These kids are 20 upset ? That sounds series. And hugh.

[pepsionice]

If the Democratic plan is to bring Harris onto the scene, or Warren...then Schultz has a fairly decent chance of taking 50-percent of Democratic votes. Just suggesting Bernie might run as an independent or some national socialist party....might take 20-percent of Democratic voters. But I don’t see where the platform of positions for Schult would attract that many GOP voters. Once you suggest more gun-control....95-percent of Republican voters will walk away from the guy.

[SeekAndFind]

RE: Venti is “20” in Italian, is it not ?

The title is in reference to Starbuck’s Coffee sizes.

Short, (8 ounces), Tall (12 ounces), Grande (16 ounces), Venti (20 ounces), and Venti Iced (24 ounces )

[HombreSecreto]

Perot was right about NAFTA...

AND Bush.

[DesertRhino]

Everyone loves to blame Perot. I think Bush breaking his unequivocal “read my lips”, no new tax promise, his and Cheney’s destroying hundreds of Navy careers over tailhook, and his assault rifle ban also had something to do with it.

Bush sicked and as time has passed, and now we know about his Mena dope operation, I’m glad he lost.

[leaning conservative]

Harris might be formidable, but Warren is basically a has been with a humiliating “just one of you folks,” live stream drinking beer & figuring out what to cook for supper. She seems to have zero support.

[ProtectOurFreedom]

It's not often I agree with a NYT opinion piece, but you have got to love this...

I hate both parties fairly equally, so at this point I'm just in it for the chaos. I just wanna watch everybody get #triggered. Schultz has the potential to piss off a lot of snowflakes on both sides, so I say good for him. Plus, all the coffee puns will wear out their welcome quickly, which will annoy even more people. Tee-hee!

Hard to disagree with that.

[pepsionice]

Well, I thought Warren would appeal to women beer-drinkers and go for their vote....talking rustic stuff, muffin recipes, Indian customs, and sipping off an open bottle of diet Bud.

[piasa]

You really bought into an sucked in all the John Kerry communist propaganda on Mena, didn’t you?

[DesertRhino]

Harris combines the foreign status, race, and marxism of Obama, with the charm of a bitter ex-wife. Oh, and she’s a skank who got her start in politics with political appointments to highly paid boards because she was riding dirty, cheating with Willie Brown.

Perfect./s

[DesertRhino]

Yep. And also, he was a goober. For all the excuses, he was astonished by a bar code reader at a grocery checkout.

[Celerity]

Starbucks sizes make no sense at all. Short can be a cereal bowl, but I’ll take it as “small” but Tall would be some sort of large, but it’s a medium and it IS taller than a short so I’ll let that slide.

Then comes Grande which does mean large, but it’s Venti that loses me. Venti is 20 in Italian. Nothing to do with extra large or whatever. And Venti Iced.. unless “Iced” means 4 in italian we’ll have to assume that they are just being different to be different like everyone else.

[KarlInOhio]

The author forgot about the greatest third party candidate of all time, the hero of the nation Ralph Nader. Unlike Perot, who took pissed off voters from both parties, Nader took votes almost solely from Gore giving Florida and the Electoral College to Bush II.

If Perot had not run his voters would have needed to split 2/3 for Bush I for im to beat Clinton.

[The Pack Knight]

I am actually not sure what effect Schultz would have as an independent candidate.

First off: I doubt this even lasts through the summer of 2019. Schultz may be the CEO of a famous company, but he has nothing like the name recognition of a Donald Trump, or even a Forbes or Bloomberg. 99% of Americans have no idea who Schultz is, and unless he spends a ton of money over the next year, they never will. And if he is even moderately successful, the Democrats and their media tools will bury him. They just need to find one former employee to claim sexual harassment, and if they can’t find one, they’ll invent one. He is not scandal-proof like Trump.

But lets forget all that and assume he does run a viable campaign. Does he have a chance of winning? I agree with the author: No. He won’t even win one state. From whom would he take more votes? I have no idea. Trump is unpopular with a majority of the electorate, and a large number of moderates and swing voters would prefer to vote for someone else. But, the way the Democrat field is shaping up so far, the Democrats are poised to nominate the most radical major party candidate since William Jennings Bryan. Moderates aren’t going to want to vote for a Marxist.

I think any viable moderate third-party candidate would potentially swallow up a lot of swing voters, and the winner would be the major party candidate who can turn out more of his or her base in enough swing states to win.

[sheana]

I don’t go to Starbucks but there’s a coffee shop in downtown Ventura I hit occasionally if I’m there. They size their coffees the same way. Rather than try to figure it out I just tell them I want a large coffee with cream. lol

[DesertRhino]

Bullcrap. It’s pretty much beyond doubt what happened in Mena. And that is how we got Bill and Hillary.

The CIA admits to conducting Contra training there, and joint exercises, and that contract work was done on CIA aircraft there. And it was just a coincidence that this same little airport was a giant dope port of entry for the Medellin Cartel. And another coincidence was that the Governor of that state wound up being the President who made sure nothing happened to Bush who was veep when it happened. And that they were very close...like a son.
And just another coincidence, Dan Lassater, the biggest cocaine dealer out of Little Rock was pardoned by Bill Clinton.

And all at the same airport with the CIA, but they saw nothing. Lol

But the CIA appreciates your help. Drink that GOPe kool-aid bro /s

[rawcatslyentist]

And if the rank and file foolaide drinking republicans would have voted for Ross, we damn well wouldn't be in the situation we are now!

But please enjoy your beverage and the R&D puppet show! No actors were incarcerated during or after their time on stage.