sounds to me like you need a Calgon bath!
“clicked on wrong tab, no reading glasses, the dog was barking, Dobby appeared and scared me, Amber alert went off on the phone, I was not logged in...”
You forgot to add...
“I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts. It wasn’t my fault!! I swear to God!!”