To: Don Myers
As a 26-year old Catholic bachelor who has never had a girlfriend and has been unwilling to walk through the emotional minefield of the singles scene, I find the notion of courtship expressed in this article appealling in several ways. I have come to be sceptical of the notion of romantic love as the basis of finding a compatible marriage partner for two reasons:(a) it is a rationalization for impure thoughts and actions outside marriage--mental fornication, in other words and (b) it obscures the primacy of other qualities as mentioned in the article for a stable marriage. On a more pragmatic note, I find this method of quasi-arranged marriage fraught with far fewer emotional and spiritual dangers. As long as a man has a clear idea what he is looking for in a wife, it is much easier to find her. Moreover, he will not let passing emotions guide his judgment, with the attendant bad results that follow therefrom. Taking pragmatism even further, many traditionally-minded or conservative young Catholic men (and women) are all too aware how few like-minded Catholic women (and men) there are out there. There is not that large a selection for both sides to choose from, so we do have to choose carefully. I wish I had known about this movement years ago. But I'm just as happy to discovered it now.
posted on 09/09/2001 9:31:43 PM PDT
We, the human race, have managed to corrupt romance and dating as we have corrupted almost everything else we have touched. I can see where this approach would appeal to many people. Arranged marriages have been and are common in many societies.
I remember when I was about 10 or so, a man and his wife approached my mother. They knew me, and they volunteered to pay for my education in return for an understanding between me and their daughter. They said they knew me and wanted a good match for their daughter. My mother turned it down. I never did find out whose parents they were. I might have been interested, or not.
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