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OAKLAND A'S: You have the most productive, leanest, meanest cows year after year. After you crush the competition in the regular milking season, you start the post milking season in a VERY strong fashion by spanking the other strongest cows. Then for no reason, you just quit producing milk, roll over, and die. Your strong cows go on to other farms and produce record milk for another ten milking seasons. You rebuild with new cows that outproduce their higher paid counterparts.

Season after season, the pattern repeats...at least Rodger Clemens can't beat you in any of the years.

1988, 1990, 2000, 2001

ATLANTA BRAVES

You have a fair regular milking season, just being able to produce more milk than the Mets. You have an excellent Divisional milk run and for many years a great League milk series. Your cows are then milked by the Yankees, who bought the best cows from a poor National Bovine league herd. In addition, the Yankee herd is inspired by the Mad Cow Disease inflicted on one of their cows.