Wanted by the Fertility Police

Crisis Magazine ^ | Mary Walsh

[spanky_mcfarland]

They're called condoms...look into them! Is there no humor on this thread? Any Irish twins (sibs born 10 months apart) posting here?

[Free Vulcan]

"Hey, man, I get my marching orders from Rome."

I'm not even Catholic and that's a cool line. The writer points out the most glaring liberal hypocrisy of all: abortion is a private choice over what a woman 'does with her own body,' but it is perfectly acceptable to criticize someone for choosing to have that child and a few more besides, bringing in the govt if necessary. So much for staying out of someone else's bedroom.

[Atticus]

Last year, I clicked on a financial advice column on the MSN Web site just for fun. It featured an article on the biggest financial mistakes people make. I could not resist taking a peek, since I am always on the lookout for ways to save money. The venomous words "having too many children" jumped off the screen at me. The article said that one or two children were bad enough; that children are extremely expensive and time-consuming; that the problem with having a third child is that the parents often want to have a fourth; and that four children are just too many. Children, one of the greatest joys of married life, the symbol of love between a husband and wife, were summarily dumped into the bin of financial mistakes.

I see dirt poor families getting by with three or four children while couples with six-figure salaries are tying their tubes because they "can't afford" a second or third child. We've got three and would like to have at least one more. My kids are priceless--worth more than all of the luxury cars, six and one-half bathroom houses and high-priced vacations in the world.

[spanky_mcfarland]

Every Sperm Is Sacred From the film "Monty Python's Meaning of Life" Words by Michael Palin and Terry Jones. Music by D. Howman & A. Jacquemin --------------------------------------------------- There are Jews in the world, There are Buddists, There are Hindus and Mormons and then, There are those that follow Mohammad, But I've never been one of them... I'm a Roman Catholic, And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics, Is they'll take you as soon as you're warm... You don't have to be a six-footer, You don't have to have a great brain, You don't have to have any clothes on You're a Catholic the moment Dad came... Because... Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Let the heathen spill theirs, On the dusty ground, God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found. Every sperm is wanted, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood. Hindu, Taoist, Morman, Spill theirs just anywhere, But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood. Every sperm is useful, Every sperm is fine, God needs everybody's, Mine! And mine! And mine! Let the pagan spill theirs, O'er mountain, hill and plain, God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed In your neighborhood. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. ---------- Nicked from "The Fairly Incomplete And Rather Badly Illustrated Monty Python Song Book" and transcribed by John G. Wright

[breakem]

Your #9 reminds me of a story. There were 10 in my ex's family. When she was three and the two youngest were 2 and 1. The oldest pair came home for Christmas. The three youngest cried for hours until they got used to the "strangers" in the house.

[It's me]

that look of condescension that says, "Don't you know what causes that?"

We have five (in seven years). When I was expecting my 5th, I was in the grocery store. The cashier's eyes got wide when she saw my four little ones and realized I was having another. She said, "Don't you know what causes that?"

I replied, very cooly, "Yes, and my husband and I enjoy it so much, we can't stop!"

Well, she got so red in the face and embarrassed, that I decided that was my response to all those thoughtless clods!!

[dpwiener]

It featured an article on the biggest financial mistakes people make. I could not resist taking a peek, since I am always on the lookout for ways to save money. The venomous words "having too many children" jumped off the screen at me.

I think Mrs. Walsh is being more than a tad defensive about the size of her family. What's "venomous" about an article stating the facts of reality? More children do cost more money, and if you want to save money one good way is simply to have fewer children. If you don't like that advice, don't take it. Find other ways of saving money (or earning more).

As someone who has only one child (but four siblings), I have no problem with those who prefer large families, as long as they pay for all those children themselves. Don't go on welfare, and don't make me or other taxpayers shoulder the cost of your decision. That way we can all be free to make our own life choices without imposing those choices on our neighbors.

[Outrance]

My wife and I have always had the philosophy that we can never let them out number us. :)

[Outrance]

My wife came from a 7 child household. She felt lost in the group and wishes she had the close relationship with each parent like I had with my parents. Gifts were always the same for all but different colors. There was never any privacy to discuss matters of concern with her parents. She was in the middle of the "pack" and the parents never were sure it she should be treated like the "little ones" or the have to be responsible like the "older ones". She was never treated like an individual and always had to conform to trail blazed by older children. Parents couldn't participate in each kids activities and financial limits prevented them in joining many events anyway. When they could join a activity it had to be something either a older sibling had started in first or something everyone could do. You played softball because your sisters played softball even though you would rather play field hockey.

Today its much happier. With all those kids grown up and with children of their own, my kids have lots of cousins and our frequent family get togethers are lots of fun. Sadly, when her mother fondly reminices about the kids growing up, the kids usually bring her back to earth.

We have a boy and a girl. Last spring my wife arranged a trip for my daughter and I to visit the San Diego Zoo, Animal Park and Sea World on the opposite coast. It was the best trip of my life. My daughter and I grew even closer than we had ever been. She knows she alone is my "princess" and is as devoted to me as I am to her. Next year in addition to our family vacation my son and I are going camping in the Grand Canyon. Saturday mornings I take my son to hockey practice she takes my daughter her horse riding lessons or vice versa.

We have tried to expose our 2 kids to as many activities as possible to allow them to find if they have a passion or talent for something. My wife and I have had many activities one on one with each of our two children that would have been less possible with a large family.

This is just my experience and not to be construed as negative to all large families of which my knowledge is very limited.

[Brian Kopp DPM]

My Advice To The Newlywed

by Brian J. Kopp, DPM

My advice to the newlywed:

While you’re young, use your head!

Have a baby...

Have a few!

I don’t mean just one.

Or even two.

How about four?

How about eight?

(Making babies is really great!)

Don’t worry about college.

Don’t worry about clothes.

Their every need God already knows.

And when you’re old,

in time of need,

with no more clamoring mouths to feed,

look to those you two made.

To be your comfort.

To be your aid.

Your children today are your greatest treasure.

You will receive in the amount you measure.

God’s greatest gift to husband and wife?

A newborn child!

An eternal life!

[Brian Kopp DPM]

Published by The Wanderer Printing Company, June 14, 2001

Our Unexpected Date With the Culture of Death

by Brian J. Kopp, DPM

Let me share with you our unexpected date with the Culture of Death this past weekend. We were in Chicago for a wedding. We had left our children with Sue's parents for this "adults only" wedding and reception (we assumed it was "adults only" to save on wedding expenses). The bride was Sue's best friend from high school. They were in youth group together in Sue's Lutheran church growing up.

Although neither of us were in the wedding, we were staying in the groom's condo (we couldn't afford the posh hotel where they reserved rooms for their out of town guests) and had been invited to the rehearsal dinner. Friday evening we went to the rehearsal. It was in a Lutheran church in the city of Chicago four blocks from Wrigley's field where the Chicago Cubs play. It was a very yuppie, affluent area.

The church sign said "Holy Trinity Church, Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA), A Reconciling in Christ Church." I wasn't sure what that meant. There were beautiful icons and many candles in this church, kneelers, a crucifix front and rear, both with a corpus, and a Holy Water font at the entrance. Further, there was a statement in the bulletin about the importance of the role of Mary the Mother of God in our devotions and spirituality and Martin Luther's writings extolling Marian devotion, and the reason they use incense in their liturgy and celebrate weekly "Holy Eucharist" instead of the Lutheran norm, which is far less often.

As we rode to the rehearsal dinner with the groom, I asked him about the church and its pastor. He wasn't clear about all the details because he had just joined this church several weeks before, having just abandoned his Roman Catholic upbringing. However, he thought the pastor had a Catholic background, and that the pastor had some "issues" with certain Catholic teachings.

He said a fellow participant in the "new member" classes the previous week had been in training to be a Lutheran minister. The ELCA said he had to choose between being a pastor or an openly practicing homosexual, and he had chosen the latter and subsequently joined this church. The groom said he was fairly certain the pastor was of homosexual orientation but had chosen to be a pastor, implying the pastor was not an open and practicing homosexual. Further, he said the "boys town" (homosexual men's) section of Chicago was just 2 or 3 blocks from this church. He also suggested we not talk about the subject because people at the wedding would be offended.

Saturday Sue and I went to the church 3 hours before the wedding so Sue could share family pictures with the bride while the bride was preparing for the wedding. I walked around the church and found a bulletin board outside the pastor's office.

There was an explanation that "A Reconciling in Christ" Church accepted and supported the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) lifestyle, newsletters were posted for the Lutheran LGBT ministries, and many pictures of several deceased AIDS victims from this church hung on the walls.

Most eye catching was this headline, "Condom Packing Pizza Party." Alongside was an open invitation for one and all to join in helping to pack 10,000 condoms for the upcoming Chicago Gay Pride parade while eating pizza and Pepsi. It dawned on me that I had never realized that the Culture of Death even throws parties in its own honor. It was clear that this church affirmed homosexuality and homosexual acts as healthy Christian behavior to be celebrated and welcomed and not judged.

By this point, I really didn't care to attend the wedding, and would have left to return home to my kids, but Sue convinced me that it would have been uncharitable to our hosts. The 15 minute Lutheran wedding was thankfully uneventful.

Between the wedding and reception was a 3 hour break. We found a beautiful, huge old Catholic church, St. Mary Star of the Lake, in a Hispanic neighborhood. We attended their anticipated mass, a welcome respite from the tomfoolery of the day so far. The old priest seemed decent but insisted on playing fast and loose with the words of the mass.

As I approached Holy Eucharist in line, I genuflected prior to receiving communion. The priest stopped and said sternly, "May I request that you refrain from genuflecting in line?!?" I did not answer but my heart screamed out, "NO, you may NOT ask me to NOT give proper reverence to the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ in this Holy Eucharist!!!" I wondered if he too, this crusty old Chicago priest, had lost his faith like the groom in the wedding. At least the groom joined another church. This was the worst affront to my sensibilities the whole weekend.

We then drove to the "adults only reception," at a restaurant the likes of which I had never entered. It was situated on the top floor of a 40 story luxury apartment building, overlooking Lake Michigan's Chicago shoreline, with the rest of Chicago's skyscrapers in view from the 270 degree view. It seems the reason our children weren't invited had little to do with economic hardship, as 170 guests enjoyed $75 dinners and a world class view.

We sat at a table for eight. One seat was empty. The woman explained her husband could not attend because he had just had surgery, and indicated a "snip snip" motion with her fingers. The guest across from me winced and his wife asked, "How many do you have?"

"Two," was the woman's reply.

The others nodded their approval.

My wife and I locked eyes and exchanged an unspoken expression of disbelief at the never-ending litany of the Culture of Death this weekend had dealt us. After trying for several years now, we had just learned the previous day that once again, God had not yet blessed us with our next pregnancy. And here were healthy young affluent yuppies throwing away their gift of fertility like so many barnyard animals.

[Brian Kopp DPM]

Unexpected Date continued:

Seated next to me was a kind, warmhearted man with an easy smile, whose Albanian Muslim parents had fought communist oppression in Albania and fled to America for freedom in the 1950's. He said he really didn't know the Muslim faith of his father and had never entered a church here in America since arriving here as a 6 month old in 1959. He smiled as we discussed matters of faith. He said it was really great to actually meet someone who went to church every Sunday. He was not joking in any way when he stated that he simply did not know anyone who attended church. He was essentially raised in Chicago with no religion for 40 years, and he knew no one that believed. No one.

We drove home Sunday. It took 9 long hours to return to the loving, happy, screaming arms of our beautiful 3 young children. It has never felt better to be home. I never realized what a sheltered paradise we live in here in this rust belt steel town in the mountains of west central Pennsylvania, where a large percentage are Catholic and a large portion of them still believe and still attend mass regularly. I never missed my two sons and my daughter so fiercely in my life as I did while immersed in that Culture of Death in Chicago. It is good to be home in simple, sheltered, small town USA.

Before we left we placed a small housewarming gift for Sue's friend and her new husband on the kitchen counter, a country sampler of some jellies and jams from our local fruit stand.

On it I attached this note:

"Dear J & C, Congratulations on your marriage! Thank you for letting us be part of your celebration and welcoming us to stay in your home during our visit here.

One thing Sue and I have learned is that the greatest gift of our marriage is our children. The only thing we can do in life that lasts for ETERNITY is bear and raise children to give Honor and Glory to God. We can write great novels, build marvels of architecture, even bring peace to the world through great acts of heroism or diplomacy, but none of these things lasts for Eternity. The only thing we can take with us to Heaven is the soul of a child. Their souls are our only Eternal treasure that we can store up in this life. Be generous in having children and raising them to love Him, and God's generosity will flow in untold and wondrous ways!

Here's a corny poem I wrote long ago for a college friend's wedding, updated a little:

MY ADVICE TO THE NEWLYWEDS
by Brian J. Kopp

My advice to the Newlywed?
While you're young, use your head!

Have a baby...
Have a few!
I don't mean just one,
or even two.

What about four?
How about eight?
(Making babies is really great!)

Don't worry about braces,
or college, or clothes.
Their every need
God already knows.

Then when you're old,
in time of need,
with no more clamoring mouths to feed,
look to your children
that you (and God) made,
to be your joy,
comfort and aid.

Your babies today
are your greatest treasure.
You will receive
in the amount you measure.

God's greatest gift
to husband and wife?
A newborn baby.
An Eternal Life!

Love,
Brian and Sue"

Its a silly little note, and a corny poem, my one and only attempt at poetry. Compared to the sophisticated, high brow company this couple keeps, it will probably seem to them to be so much hayseed and backwards thinking from their eccentric Catholic friends from backwoods Pennsylvania. But Truth has a power all its own, and this couple may never hear this message elsewhere. Despite the culture they live in, like so many others they are good decent people, if a bit ignorant of reality, and deserve to hear the Gospel of Life.

The Culture of Death isn't simply abortions at a clinic. It is any lifestyle that is not open to life, be it one of contraception, sterilization, homosexuality, abortion, or euthanasia, and it is being preached in many pulpits, both religious and secular. I pray they hear this little message, a message of a Culture of Life that groans to be heard above the roar of the Culture of Death out there in that big city and across this nation and world.

[steve-b]

Don’t worry about college.
Don’t worry about clothes.
Their every need God already knows.

Just make damn sure that you ask God, and not my already excessive tax payments, to bail you out.

[VeritatisSplendor]

Thank God there are still families like this. It took me too long to shrug off the eco-guilt about over-population and now I realize that that isn't the problem at all. Half of my female family members don't have children, and all are over 30, some over 40. Too late. Many of the girls I grew up with don't have children, we're pushing 40. Just about no one has more than two. I'm 6 months pregnant with my fourth living child, we lost two to miscarriage.

"Cathlolic" countries like Spain and Italy are having 1.5, 1.2 children per woman. Same with Japan. Half the women in this country between 15 and 44 haven't had children, are they all waiting for their 30s? It's harder then. If we don't love your family and our nation enough to make a future generation for it we are doomed. And I fear that the response to the terrorist war is not going to be, have babies, but this is no world to bring babies into. I feel that myself, and I only thank God that He sent this child before this happened.

Mrs VS

[Brian Kopp DPM]

No problem.

Just curious...the greatest demographic threat threat to this country in the next three decades is the inversion of the population pyramid. My kids, and the kids of these other large families, will be paying your social security checks and medicare benefits, while those who whined several decades before about our large families have few if any offspring to fill the coffers.

I'll make you a deal...stop whining about medicaid today for large families, and we will fight against your kids for you when they desire to euthanize you 'cause you're taking too much of their paycheck.

[Brian Kopp DPM]

Condoms have a 10 to 15% failure rate. Why use jellies, jams, and dams when you can do it God's way and get better results, while avoiding mortal sin?

The Catholic Church supports the most effective, inexpensive, and safe method known to modern science. The Sympto-thermal method of Natural Family Planning, not to be confused with the less effective rhythm method, has been proven to be 95 to 99% effective. An article in the British Medical Journal of March 1993 entitled "Natural Family Planning: Effective Birth Control Supported by the Catholic Church," states:

"Increasingly studies show that rates equivalent to those with other contraceptive methods are readily achieved . . . Indeed, a [World Health Organization] study of 19843 poor women in India had a pregnancy rate approaching zero [99.2%] . . . whatever the standpoint there is no doubt that it would be more efficient for the ongoing world debate on overpopulation, resources, environment, poverty, and health to be conducted against a background of truth rather than fallacy. It is therefore important that the misconception that Catholicism is synonymous with ineffective birth control is laid to rest. Understanding the simple facts about the signs of fertility confers considerable power to couples to control their fertility, for achieving as well as preventing conception."

Unfortunately, the multi billion dollar contraception and abortion industry would suffer greatly from just such knowledge in the hands of couples. Therefore, they and their advocates have a vested interest in keeping the knowledge of the effectiveness of Natural Family Planning from the masses who would otherwise buy their products and obtain their abortion services. The derision of the Catholic Church and her teachings, and the insinuation that Natural Family Planning is inherently ineffective, serves to protect this vast industry.

Once I teach a woman the art of Natural Family Planning, I may never see her again. There is no monetary gain for me. I will never get paid for an office visit to renew a prescription or a surgical fee to implant a device or to "fix" reproductive organs that were not broken, in order to cause sterility. But I have given her a power, an independence, and a freedom of choice she will never receive in a contraception or abortion clinic.

[steve-b]

I'll make you a deal...stop whining about medicaid today for large families

No deal. You have 'em; you pay for 'em.

we will fight against your kids for you when they desire to euthanize you 'cause you're taking too much of their paycheck

I'm not stupid enough to assume that there will be any Social Security system left, and have made other arrangements.

[Diamond]

I currently am serving as an obstetrical anesthesiologist, and refuse to do elective terminations -- the flack I take from my colleagues is huge.

From a father of six, tell them that they 'terminated their mother's pregnancy' by being born alive, and that doctors who hack babies to death have aborted their own conscience. Their souls have rigor mortis.

Cordially,

[SuziQ]

Surprisingly enough, parents with more children tend to be more organized. Families with eight always get to Mass before us, and we arrive before those with three

Well that's one thing I CANNOT say about our family with four kids. We just can never seem to get to Mass on time, except when I'm serving (Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist) and I absolutely HAVE to be there a few minutes early. Even with the two older ones off to college, we still seem to get delayed for one reason or another.

All of our closest friends seem to have at least four and some have six children, and they DO look upon children as a wonderful blessing.

A good comeback for those of us with more than the 'allowed' two or three kids when we are confronted by the 'fertility police' would be "They are my "old age insurance". They'll be paying MY Social Security and yours too"!

[Silly]

I am the youngest of seven kids, 9.5 years apart, and am glad I grew up in a big family. The middle child, my sister Gloria, died at age 16 of cancer. 30 years later, we still miss her and talk about her all the time.

We never had much money growing up, but we didn't really notice, because our parents took good care of us. We relied on each other to help us grow up.

Big families are a big blessing.