With regard to the passages frequently cited by Calvinists which say that "God hated..." the explanation is that the phrase "God hated..." is a Jewish idiom with a different meaning than what we would ascribe to the phrase.
Are you saying that Paul misunderstood the Jewish idiom? He did write in Greek, right? (I'm not a Calvinist, in the interests of full disclosure.)
My commentary says that it's a Jewish idiom that means "to love less." That's all I can tell you.
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