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The 16 Signs Your Cat is Plotting World Domination
NANCEESTAR ^

Posted on 11/08/2001 1:15:35 PM PST by PetroniDE

16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.

15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.

14. Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland.

13. When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn.

12. Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets, and nine suicide bombs.

11. What you thought was "heat" is actually a four-legged goose step.

10. Well, "somebody" subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.

9. Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo" to be blueprint of the UN Building.

8. Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.

7. Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out "Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."

6. Then -- dead mice in the kitchen. Now -- dead third world dictators in the basement.

5. Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of "land mine" technology.

4. Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.

3. Has recently been acting somewhat... aloof.

2. What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Plotting World Domination...

1. Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Feline of Fortune" magazine.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
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My "Cattribution" for the day.
1 posted on 11/08/2001 1:15:36 PM PST by PetroniDE
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To: SAMWolf
Thought you might like this one. Same website as your giving the cat the pill thread.
2 posted on 11/08/2001 1:16:23 PM PST by PetroniDE
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To: PetroniDE
Bump
3 posted on 11/08/2001 1:18:55 PM PST by SAMWolf
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To: PetroniDE
. "Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap." HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!
4 posted on 11/08/2001 1:24:12 PM PST by brat
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To: PetroniDE
No way....DOGS RULE. I saw the movie and the fat cat gets it in the end....
5 posted on 11/08/2001 1:29:53 PM PST by anniegetyourgun
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To: PetroniDE
That's great! I hope you don't mind, but I sent it to a friend. Our theory was always that the cats were doing serious research into quantum mechanics. :)
6 posted on 11/08/2001 1:33:22 PM PST by walden
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To: anniegetyourgun
Oh, sure. Spoil the whole movie for me.
7 posted on 11/08/2001 1:36:16 PM PST by techcor
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To: PetroniDE

"Hey you, human, did this months 'Feline of Fortune' come in the mail today?"

8 posted on 11/08/2001 1:36:47 PM PST by jmp702
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To: jmp702
Hey, that sounds just like my cat!

L

9 posted on 11/08/2001 1:41:13 PM PST by Lurker
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To: PetroniDE
3. Has recently been acting somewhat... aloof.

Get a Burmese. They will not leave you alone. They make dogs seem aloof.

10 posted on 11/08/2001 1:41:52 PM PST by JoeSchem
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To: PetroniDE

World Domination??? ME???

11 posted on 11/08/2001 1:44:07 PM PST by SAMWolf
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To: PetroniDE
Recently seen conspiring with two mice, one of whom is named "Pinky".
12 posted on 11/08/2001 1:47:55 PM PST by tacticalogic
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To: PetroniDE
"I hates meeces cats to pieces!"

FMCDH

13 posted on 11/08/2001 1:48:09 PM PST by nothingnew
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To: PetroniDE

14 posted on 11/08/2001 1:48:14 PM PST by FairWitness
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To: SAMWolf
LOL.
That's a great picture.
15 posted on 11/08/2001 1:48:45 PM PST by jmp702
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To: PetroniDE
LOL. But my kitty wouldn't be caught dead watching CNN. It's FOX for him. Gee, now I'm really worried. Do you think this is why he never misses Rumsfeld's briefings??
16 posted on 11/08/2001 1:51:05 PM PST by mewzilla
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To: Lurker
Those darn cats, they all sound alike, don't they...:)
17 posted on 11/08/2001 1:51:48 PM PST by jmp702
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To: PetroniDE

18 posted on 11/08/2001 1:51:50 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: CheneyChick
ping
19 posted on 11/08/2001 1:52:33 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: PetroniDE
Gotta save this, thanks.

My cat only does about 12, am I safe?

20 posted on 11/08/2001 1:52:48 PM PST by Alas
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To: FairWitness
"It is you who are in trouble, little pup!!"
21 posted on 11/08/2001 1:55:19 PM PST by SAMWolf
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To: PetroniDE
opps, make it 13, i just went into the kitchen and looked on the floor, he as spilled cat food and it does say

"Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."

Never would have figured it, he's always been such a, well, good cat.

22 posted on 11/08/2001 1:57:40 PM PST by Alas
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub

23 posted on 11/08/2001 1:57:42 PM PST by CheneyChick
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To: Lurker
The 16 Signs Your Cat is Plotting World Domination

#1. He is a Cat

Mine is named, "Bismark".

24 posted on 11/08/2001 2:01:50 PM PST by Uriel1975
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To: SAMWolf
What a great pic of your kitten!
25 posted on 11/08/2001 2:02:45 PM PST by white trash redneck
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To: white trash redneck
That's not my kitten. I got that pic from a Kitten Adoption site.
26 posted on 11/08/2001 2:04:58 PM PST by SAMWolf
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To: SAMWolf
How cute !
27 posted on 11/08/2001 2:25:26 PM PST by exmoor
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To: CheneyChick
It just wouldn't be a cat thread without Fred!
28 posted on 11/08/2001 2:47:51 PM PST by pubmom
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To: PetroniDE; Dog
I knew there was a reason I didn't like those disgusting little furballs.
29 posted on 11/08/2001 2:52:54 PM PST by LibKill
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Comment #30 Removed by Moderator

To: one_particular_harbour
FReD's story is HERE !!

Here's miNi FReD


31 posted on 11/08/2001 3:04:45 PM PST by CheneyChick
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To: Uriel1975
Our cat's name is "Killer". He's a huge grey Tabby who got neutered a bit too late in life to slow him down.

I agree though, something is cooking in the cat world. Killer has been way too affectionate lately, and faithfully sleeps next to me every night. He's never behaved like this before.

32 posted on 11/08/2001 3:11:56 PM PST by LeeMcCoy
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To: PetroniDE
Hey I have seen that puppy chow commerical where the dog launches through the door. Methinks the dogs are planning an counter attack.
33 posted on 11/08/2001 3:31:00 PM PST by lexington minuteman 1775
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Comment #34 Removed by Moderator

To: PetroniDE
BRING IT ON!


35 posted on 11/08/2001 5:32:35 PM PST by Ganymede
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To: PetroniDE

I just love cat!

36 posted on 11/08/2001 6:12:52 PM PST by SERE_DOC
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To: SERE_DOC
Face it, cats are to lazy to launch a major offensive! And they never plot in groups.
37 posted on 11/08/2001 6:16:26 PM PST by operation clinton cleanup
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To: SAMWolf
WOW wolf..awesome kitten..anymore like that ?
38 posted on 11/08/2001 6:37:58 PM PST by RnMomof7
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To: Uriel1975
UMMMMMMMMMMM didn't know you were a "cat person" ours is "Dublin"...................she has a "brother cat " that is London.. (my sons cat)........
39 posted on 11/08/2001 6:41:36 PM PST by RnMomof7
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To: PetroniDE
Never forget that behind that angelic expression is a ... cat


40 posted on 11/08/2001 6:57:24 PM PST by Let's Roll
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To: PetroniDE
In an interesting French film I saw MANY years ago called J'etaime, J'etaime, I remember a character proposing the theory that cats already ruled the world, since they are treated like untouchable royalty by everyone who "owns" them, they are fed, coddled, deferred to in every way, and that all our "civilization" is just an accidental by-product of our total subjugation to cats. Very intriguing proposition that may be true.
41 posted on 11/08/2001 7:01:46 PM PST by willyboyishere
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To: PetroniDE
The name of their organization is "Al Kitty."
42 posted on 11/08/2001 7:11:56 PM PST by Moonman62
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To: PetroniDE
Ha! I'm going to show this to my cat Harley ... he'll enjoy it (or not).
43 posted on 11/08/2001 7:16:41 PM PST by BunnySlippers
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To: Let's Roll
Your kittie appears to have a very pleasing smile. Obviously has a future in pictures. :)
44 posted on 11/08/2001 7:18:25 PM PST by BunnySlippers
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To: operation clinton cleanup
Face it, cats are to lazy to launch a major offensive! And they never plot in groups.

But what about the MOTHERSHIP?

45 posted on 11/08/2001 7:19:28 PM PST by BunnySlippers
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To: RnMomof7

Will these do?

46 posted on 11/08/2001 7:20:12 PM PST by SAMWolf
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To: willyboyishere
In an interesting French film I saw MANY years ago called J'etaime, J'etaime, I remember a character proposing the theory that cats already ruled the world, since they are treated like untouchable royalty by everyone who "owns" them, they are fed, coddled, deferred to in every way, and that all our "civilization" is just an accidental by-product of our total subjugation to cats. Very intriguing proposition that may be true.

Thats what wellfare moms use to think!

47 posted on 11/08/2001 7:22:11 PM PST by operation clinton cleanup
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To: SAMWolf
There is so little in this world to smile about..thanks for the smiles the pic's have given me..I really like the last baby!
48 posted on 11/08/2001 7:49:22 PM PST by RnMomof7
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To: PetroniDE
Don't know about "World Domination" but I found this under the bed:

Cat Diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage....

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Good luck!
Regards,
GtG

49 posted on 11/08/2001 7:53:07 PM PST by Gandalf_The_Gray
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To: PetroniDE
"tattoo"...blueprint of the UN Building
=========================================

I just love a good UN Joke!
(Kofi Annan is the Best one...so far...)

50 posted on 11/08/2001 7:54:28 PM PST by Alabama_Wild_Man
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