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Anyone for some "Newspeak" Christmas carols???
self | 11/24/01 | self

Posted on 11/24/2001 6:59:05 AM PST by Preech1

Ok everybody...here's the deal. Last year everyone who had any talent or sense of humor remembers the comparisons between Algore and the Grinch...right?

Well, fellow FReepers, let's see what you've got this year. It can be anything from a whole song to just a title.

Perhaps a loving rendition of "Afghans roasting on an Open Fire" or something less newsworthy but using doublespeak, like "Frosty the Thermally deficient precipitation person".

Whatever it is, lets have some fun...


TOPICS: Front Page News; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 11/24/2001 6:59:05 AM PST by Preech1 (preech1@juno.com)
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To: Preech1
btt
2 posted on 11/24/2001 7:00:38 AM PST by Preech1
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To: Preech1
btt
3 posted on 11/24/2001 7:01:02 AM PST by Preech1
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To: Preech1
There's No Place Like Herat for the Holidays
I'm Dreaming of a Live Christmas
Omar, the One-Eyed Mullah
Jangled Nerves
O Little Town of Kandahar
Not So Silent Night
(The Jets) Came Upon a Midnight Clear
O Tannen-bomb
Go Tell it Under the Mountain
4 posted on 11/24/2001 7:08:31 AM PST by IronJack
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To: Preech1
...like "Rudolph, the Nasally Challenged Reindeer..." ?
5 posted on 11/24/2001 7:08:50 AM PST by Enlightiator
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To: IronJack
Or "Asleep in a bunker, no sleep for Saddam..."
6 posted on 11/24/2001 7:12:43 AM PST by Preech1
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To: IronJack
LOL! BTTT
7 posted on 11/24/2001 7:20:32 AM PST by firewalk
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To: Preech1
Fleck the Walls with Sows of Tali

Tra la la, la la, la la, oink oink!

Leni

8 posted on 11/24/2001 7:22:46 AM PST by MinuteGal
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To: Preech1
Don we now our gay/lesbian/transgendered apparel...

Tis the season to overcome our Seasonal Affectation Disorder, but we shouldn't be stigmatized if we are unable to do so, and we should get more funding to look into mental health issues.

Chestnuts roasting on a death trap waiting to happen, exposing our children to carcinogens.

I am dreaming of a non-colored christmas.

I saw Grandma sexually harassed by Santa Claus under the X-mas tree last night and filed a report with the human rights commission.

9 posted on 11/24/2001 7:31:12 AM PST by dogbyte12
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To: Preech1
Have Yourselves a Scary Little Christmas

B-52's We Have Heard on High

Do You Hear What I Hear? (DUCK!)

I'm Screaming of a Fright Christmas

Slay Ride

I'll Be Loam for Christmas

Leni

10 posted on 11/24/2001 7:36:15 AM PST by MinuteGal
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To: Preech1
Away In a Village Caregiving Center
11 posted on 11/24/2001 7:37:52 AM PST by redbaiter
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To: Preech1
I've been wanting to see ...

A Clinton (Crime) Family Christmas Special ...

"How Still We See Thee Lie"

12 posted on 11/24/2001 7:39:33 AM PST by irgbar-man
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To: Preech1
Grandma Got Run Over By a Senator
13 posted on 11/24/2001 7:40:24 AM PST by redbaiter
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To: MinuteGal
LOL!

I Saw 'Sama Kiss his Rear Goodbye...

14 posted on 11/24/2001 7:40:29 AM PST by uvular
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To: irgbar-man
Some would rather "See him lying still" if you get my drift...
15 posted on 11/24/2001 7:40:51 AM PST by Preech1
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To: Preech1
What Child Is This, Bill?
16 posted on 11/24/2001 7:46:03 AM PST by redbaiter
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To: Preech1
Oh Holy S---

The sky above is blinding

It is the night that our cave will explode

17 posted on 11/24/2001 7:48:21 AM PST by uvular
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To: Preech1
Chestnuts roasting on a properly constructed and contained fire made with well-aged, windfall wood, gathered from widely scattered locations, in keeping with the Leave No Trace (TM) philosophy...
18 posted on 11/24/2001 7:48:41 AM PST by TrappedInLiberalHell
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To: Preech1
(Not a carol, but has a good beat)
19 posted on 11/24/2001 7:52:26 AM PST by Mushinronshasan
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To: IronJack
"Omar, the One-Eyed Mullah"
ROTFLMAO!!
20 posted on 11/24/2001 7:53:16 AM PST by 1 FELLOW FREEPER
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To: redbaiter
16: LOL.
21 posted on 11/24/2001 7:58:22 AM PST by alcuin
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To: Preech1
Over the mountains and through the caves, to Al Queda's yurt we go

I'm dreaming of some Red Poppies

Feliz Jalabad

22 posted on 11/24/2001 7:59:27 AM PST by uvular
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To: Preech1
The Twelve Days of Sweeps Week

One anchor, canting . .

Two "experts," ranting . .

Three peeps, at asses . .

Or do I repeat myself?

23 posted on 11/24/2001 8:09:04 AM PST by alcuin
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To: uvular
LOL! Finally, a song satirist who can actually hear, scan, and write!
24 posted on 11/24/2001 8:28:42 AM PST by MoralSense
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To: Preech1
Here's what I want to see during the twelve days of Christmas:

A partridge in Bin Ladin's tea

Two indicted doves

Three French chickens

Four calling Thunderbirds

Five Golden Eagle wings

Six appeasers praying

Seven khans oy-vehing

Eight raids a-coming

Nine Humvees humming

Ten snipers sniping

Eleven warlords weeping

Twelve freepers freeping

And a cartridge in Bin Ladens goatee!

Leni

25 posted on 11/24/2001 8:49:37 AM PST by MinuteGal
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To: Preech1
Hark the Herald, Rumsfield sings:
"Let's go get the big brass ring.
"Osama's deep in the ground
"But shortly he will be found."

"Joyful then our troops will rise
"With support from the skies
"Bye Osama, and fare thee well
"As our troops send you to Hell

Hark the Herald, Rumsfeld sings
"Camel jockey's dead with a badda-bing!"


Regards, Ivan

FreeBritannia.co.uk
26 posted on 11/24/2001 8:55:54 AM PST by MadIvan
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To: Preech1
Bump
27 posted on 11/24/2001 9:02:22 AM PST by Fiddlstix
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To: Preech1
BTTT
28 posted on 11/24/2001 9:18:59 AM PST by Gasshog
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To: Gasshog
bump!
29 posted on 11/24/2001 12:12:59 PM PST by Preech1
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To: Gasshog
bump!
30 posted on 11/24/2001 12:13:09 PM PST by Preech1
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To: Gasshog
bump!
31 posted on 11/24/2001 12:13:14 PM PST by Preech1
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To: Gasshog
bump!
32 posted on 11/24/2001 12:13:19 PM PST by Preech1
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To: Gasshog
bump!
33 posted on 11/24/2001 12:13:27 PM PST by Preech1
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To: Gasshog
Omar, the one-eyed mullah
Had a very tiny brain
And if you ever saw him
You would think he'd gone insane.

All of the other imams
Used to laugh and call him names.
They'd never let poor Omar
Join in their buzkashi games.

Then one hajj in Al-Makah
Allah came to say
"Omar, scholar of Qu'ran
Won't you run Afghanistan?"

Then all the Afghans feared him
As he shouted out with glee
"Omar, the one-eyed mullah
Will make Islamic history!"

34 posted on 11/24/2001 12:23:00 PM PST by Loyalist
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To: Loyalist
LOL!
35 posted on 11/24/2001 6:04:43 PM PST by MinuteGal
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To: MinuteGal
Slay Ride

FOTFLMAO. You go, girl!

36 posted on 11/24/2001 6:12:58 PM PST by PoisedWoman
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To: dogbyte12
waay coool! seriously :D
37 posted on 11/24/2001 7:14:32 PM PST by SmithW
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To: MinuteGal
good stuff! :D
38 posted on 11/24/2001 7:16:29 PM PST by SmithW
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To: SmithW
newspeak BUMP
39 posted on 12/12/2001 7:25:38 AM PST by Gasshog
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To: Preech1
White Winter
by Al Gore
(sing to the tune of White Christmas)

I'm dreaming of a White Winter.
The Hotel Fairfax was aglow.
When we kids got nervous,
We called Room Service,
Or watched porters shovel snow.

I'm dreaming of a White Winter,
With every faith-based card I write.
They are inoffensive and trite,
'Cause the DNC is so uptight.

by Silly

40 posted on 12/12/2001 7:29:38 AM PST by Silly
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To: Loyalist
That's great! Did you write it?
41 posted on 12/12/2001 7:30:33 AM PST by Silly
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To: Preech1
We Three Kings = We N Members of the Ruling Class, N Being Any Whole Number Greater Than Zero

I Saw Three Ships = I Feel That I Saw Some Number of Watercraft, But Who Am I To Say

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen = Whoever or Whatever You Choose To Believe -- or Not Believe -- Rest Ye Straight, Gay, Lesian, Bi and Trans-gendered, Queer Beings

42 posted on 12/12/2001 7:40:55 AM PST by Silly
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To: Silly
Write one about "Nuclear Winterwonderland"
43 posted on 12/12/2001 8:13:54 AM PST by Gasshog
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To: redbaiter
What Child Is This, Bill?

OK, I have finally gotten myself under control enough to bump this. I think.

I am sneak-freeping at work, and my reaction to this post attracted WAY too much attention my way...

44 posted on 12/12/2001 9:12:45 AM PST by TontoKowalski
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To: Loyalist
Brilliant! (as the Brits say)
45 posted on 12/12/2001 10:41:27 AM PST by Pharmboy
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To: Pharmboy
late-afternoon-bump
46 posted on 12/12/2001 12:21:39 PM PST by Gasshog
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To: Silly; Pharmboy
Another old-time Afghan favourite:

Away in a bunker
With four wives in bed
Osama bin Laden
Lay down his thick head.

The planes in the night sky
Tracked down where he lay.
With fuel-air explosives
They blew him away.

47 posted on 12/12/2001 3:07:31 PM PST by Loyalist
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To: Loyalist
Excellent work.
48 posted on 12/12/2001 3:10:31 PM PST by Silly
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To: Preech1
in keeping with true 1984 character and ingsoc, or amcos as you will, all christmas carols can be summed up thusly:

crimethink

49 posted on 12/12/2001 3:10:44 PM PST by fod
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To: Silly
a hoping for more: BUMP
50 posted on 12/14/2001 5:36:38 AM PST by Gasshog
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