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Anyone for some "Newspeak" Christmas carols???
Posted on 11/24/2001 6:59:05 AM PST by Preech1
Ok everybody...here's the deal. Last year everyone who had any talent or sense of humor remembers the comparisons between Algore and the Grinch...right?
Well, fellow FReepers, let's see what you've got this year. It can be anything from a whole song to just a title.
Perhaps a loving rendition of "Afghans roasting on an Open Fire" or something less newsworthy but using doublespeak, like "Frosty the Thermally deficient precipitation person".
Whatever it is, lets have some fun...
TOPICS: Front Page News; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
posted on 11/24/2001 6:59:05 AM PST
posted on 11/24/2001 7:00:38 AM PST
posted on 11/24/2001 7:01:02 AM PST
There's No Place Like Herat for the Holidays
I'm Dreaming of a Live Christmas
Omar, the One-Eyed Mullah
O Little Town of Kandahar
Not So Silent Night
(The Jets) Came Upon a Midnight Clear
Go Tell it Under the Mountain
posted on 11/24/2001 7:08:31 AM PST
...like "Rudolph, the Nasally Challenged Reindeer..." ?
Or "Asleep in a bunker, no sleep for Saddam..."
posted on 11/24/2001 7:12:43 AM PST
posted on 11/24/2001 7:20:32 AM PST
Fleck the Walls with Sows of Tali
Tra la la, la la, la la, oink oink!
posted on 11/24/2001 7:22:46 AM PST
Don we now our gay/lesbian/transgendered apparel...
Tis the season to overcome our Seasonal Affectation Disorder, but we shouldn't be stigmatized if we are unable to do so, and we should get more funding to look into mental health issues.
Chestnuts roasting on a death trap waiting to happen, exposing our children to carcinogens.
I am dreaming of a non-colored christmas.
I saw Grandma sexually harassed by Santa Claus under the X-mas tree last night and filed a report with the human rights commission.
posted on 11/24/2001 7:31:12 AM PST
Have Yourselves a Scary Little Christmas
B-52's We Have Heard on High
Do You Hear What I Hear? (DUCK!)
I'm Screaming of a Fright Christmas
I'll Be Loam for Christmas
Away In a Village Caregiving Center
I've been wanting to see ...
A Clinton (Crime) Family Christmas Special ...
"How Still We See Thee Lie"
Grandma Got Run Over By a Senator
I Saw 'Sama Kiss his Rear Goodbye...
posted on 11/24/2001 7:40:29 AM PST
Some would rather "See him lying still" if you get my drift...
posted on 11/24/2001 7:40:51 AM PST
What Child Is This, Bill?
Oh Holy S---
The sky above is blinding
It is the night that our cave will explode
posted on 11/24/2001 7:48:21 AM PST
Chestnuts roasting on a properly constructed and contained fire made with well-aged, windfall wood, gathered from widely scattered locations, in keeping with the Leave No Trace (TM) philosophy...
"Omar, the One-Eyed Mullah"
posted on 11/24/2001 7:58:22 AM PST
Over the mountains and through the caves, to Al Queda's yurt we go
I'm dreaming of some Red Poppies
posted on 11/24/2001 7:59:27 AM PST
The Twelve Days of Sweeps Week
One anchor, canting . .
Two "experts," ranting . .
Three peeps, at asses . .
Or do I repeat myself?
posted on 11/24/2001 8:09:04 AM PST
LOL! Finally, a song satirist who can actually hear, scan, and write!
Here's what I want to see during the twelve days of Christmas:
A partridge in Bin Ladin's tea
Two indicted doves
Three French chickens
Four calling Thunderbirds
Five Golden Eagle wings
Six appeasers praying
Seven khans oy-vehing
Eight raids a-coming
Nine Humvees humming
Ten snipers sniping
Eleven warlords weeping
Twelve freepers freeping
And a cartridge in Bin Ladens goatee!
Hark the Herald, Rumsfield sings:
"Let's go get the big brass ring.
"Osama's deep in the ground
"But shortly he will be found."
"Joyful then our troops will rise
"With support from the skies
"Bye Osama, and fare thee well
"As our troops send you to Hell
Hark the Herald, Rumsfeld sings
"Camel jockey's dead with a badda-bing!"
posted on 11/24/2001 8:55:54 AM PST
posted on 11/24/2001 9:18:59 AM PST
posted on 11/24/2001 12:12:59 PM PST
posted on 11/24/2001 12:13:09 PM PST
posted on 11/24/2001 12:13:14 PM PST
posted on 11/24/2001 12:13:19 PM PST
posted on 11/24/2001 12:13:27 PM PST
Omar, the one-eyed mullah
Had a very tiny brain
And if you ever saw him
You would think he'd gone insane.
All of the other imams
Used to laugh and call him names.
They'd never let poor Omar
Join in their buzkashi games.
Then one hajj in Al-Makah
Allah came to say
"Omar, scholar of Qu'ran
Won't you run Afghanistan?"
Then all the Afghans feared him
As he shouted out with glee
"Omar, the one-eyed mullah
Will make Islamic history!"
posted on 11/24/2001 12:23:00 PM PST
FOTFLMAO. You go, girl!
waay coool! seriously :D
posted on 11/24/2001 7:14:32 PM PST
good stuff! :D
posted on 11/24/2001 7:16:29 PM PST
posted on 12/12/2001 7:25:38 AM PST
by Al Gore
(sing to the tune of White Christmas)
I'm dreaming of a White Winter.
The Hotel Fairfax was aglow.
When we kids got nervous,
We called Room Service,
Or watched porters shovel snow.
I'm dreaming of a White Winter,
With every faith-based card I write.
They are inoffensive and trite,
'Cause the DNC is so uptight.
posted on 12/12/2001 7:29:38 AM PST
That's great! Did you write it?
posted on 12/12/2001 7:30:33 AM PST
We Three Kings = We N
Members of the Ruling Class, N
Being Any Whole Number Greater Than Zero
I Saw Three Ships = I Feel That I Saw Some Number of Watercraft, But Who Am I To Say
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen = Whoever or Whatever You Choose To Believe -- or Not Believe -- Rest Ye Straight, Gay, Lesian, Bi and Trans-gendered, Queer Beings
posted on 12/12/2001 7:40:55 AM PST
Write one about "Nuclear Winterwonderland"
posted on 12/12/2001 8:13:54 AM PST
What Child Is This, Bill?
OK, I have finally gotten myself under control enough to bump this. I think.
I am sneak-freeping at work, and my reaction to this post attracted WAY too much attention my way...
Brilliant! (as the Brits say)
posted on 12/12/2001 10:41:27 AM PST
posted on 12/12/2001 12:21:39 PM PST
To: Silly; Pharmboy
Another old-time Afghan favourite:
Away in a bunker
With four wives in bed
Osama bin Laden
Lay down his thick head.
The planes in the night sky
Tracked down where he lay.
With fuel-air explosives
They blew him away.
posted on 12/12/2001 3:07:31 PM PST
posted on 12/12/2001 3:10:31 PM PST
in keeping with true 1984 character and ingsoc, or amcos as you will, all christmas carols can be summed up thusly:
posted on 12/12/2001 3:10:44 PM PST
a hoping for more: BUMP
posted on 12/14/2001 5:36:38 AM PST
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