Posted on 12/07/2001 2:47:03 PM PST by Croooow
Bill: Good evening. Welcome to our author-laden panel here on "Politically Incorrect." Right over here, Mr. Dave Barry, America's treasured humorist and a Pulitzer Prize winner. Boy, that puts this all in perspective. And Dave Barry, his new book is "Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway." Okay, Christopher Hitchens, I don't think there's anyone in the world who, when I see the byline, I want to read the article more. He makes us think differently about things. I don't know of a higher praise I can say to an author. And apropos of that, his new book is called, "Letters to a Young Contrarian." Larry Klayman, no book, but has made an art of the lawsuit. You're suing Bin Laden now?
Larry: Well, yeah. I thought we'd add that into Rockville, you forgot about that.
Bill: Somebody's got to do it. You are the chairman and founder, of course, of judicial watch. And Marilu Henner has a book called, "Heal Thy Kids."
[ Laughter ]
Bill: You're not laughing, and for good reason. Because that's our little joke. It's called "Healthy Kids."
Marilu: Yes, "Healthy Kids."
[ Laughter ]
Bill: But I always interpret that, "Heal Thy Kids." That is her new book. And, of course, she's just Marilu Henner. Give a hand to our panel, if you would.
[ Applause ]
This show is famous for making some strange bedfellows. And people who don't normally agree -- I think you two guys, Christopher, Larry, probably agree on Bill Clinton being evil, and you have a lot of support lately, 'cause I've read, just in the last few days, somehow it got to the media, "Oh, wait, that's right, Bill Clinton. We forgot, the original evil doer." I'm reading a lot of things about how it's really Bill Clinton's fault because, when he was in office, he should have gotten Bin Laden. And you know what? Nobody should be exonerated from that. We all are guilty. We all had terrorism go off on our watch, and we all hit the snooze alarm. That's the media, that's the people, that's Bill Clinton, but it's also Congress. And every time I read this stuff about Bill Clinton, who I know worked real hard on trying to get Bin Laden, I think, "Yeah, but maybe he was distracted because a lot of people in this country and in Congress were so interested in his penis --
[ Laughter ]
Christopher: He said "penis."
Bill: I said "penis." You can say "penis." You can say "penis."
Marilu: It's his show.
Dave: When he says "penis," he holds his hands this far apart.
[ Laughter ]
He's talking from personal experience.
Bill: Sorry, it's just --
Larry: He called us here to blame us, that's the bottom line.
Bill: I did call you --
Larry: Christopher and I are guilty.
Bill: You are. You actually are.
Larry: Because we kept them preoccupied.
Christopher: With his "thing."
[ Laughter ]
Larry: Now, the bottom line here, Bill, is I actually agree with you. I agree with you that everybody's guilty -- Congress, Clinton, the Republicans, the Democrats. Everybody was telling the American people, "No threat, foreign or domestic. Isn't it great? Vote for me. It's a nice world." But the bottom line is, we had one crime committed after another, we had national security violations during the Clinton administration, we had Capitol Hill that wasn't doing it's job turning over the rocks, and they all have blood on their hands. I agree with you what happened. 4,000 people dead, government didn't do its job, I.N.S. didn't do its job, the justice department didn't do its job, we represent an FBI client --
Bill: Except for when Bill Clinton actually did fire back at bin laden, you all said, "He's just trying to distract us from his penis."
Christopher: Because --
Larry: We were never into his penis, Bill.
Christopher: Because --
[ Applause ]
Larry: I was never into Monica Lewinsky.
Christopher: This is the first time I've been on your show where you haven't hired some coke-sodden rock star to tell me that I'm obsessed with Clinton.
[ Laughter ]
Now it seems to be you're the obsessed one. When Mr. Clinton fired the --
Bill: If only I was a coke-sodden rock star.
Christopher: When Mr. Clinton fired those cruise missiles at Sudan, he destroyed the only pharmaceutical factory in Sudan.
Bill: Right.
Christopher: Put Sudan back many years. He made in Bin Laden look good, not an easy task. He fired another cruise missile at Pakistan, hit the wrong target. The Pakistanis were so angry they let go the people who they'd held for the blowing up of the U.S. embassies in Africa. The whole thing's been minutely investigated, it was clearly a wag the dog operation. It took place in the week Miss Lewinsky went back to the grand jury.
Bill: Chris, how can he win? If he does it, it's wag the dog, if he doesn't do it, he's negligent.
Christopher: Because, after that, he dropped the whole subject. He dropped the whole subject.
Bill: No, he didn't.
Dave: If you're gonna wag the dog, you wag it well. You actually take out the cancer.
Christopher: The cancer grew during those years.
Bill: But what about the fact that most -- a lot of the people who were persecuting him, the people, the impeachment "Managers," were on all sorts of --
Christopher: What's with the quotes here.
Bill: Well, because they didn't manage it very well, did they?
[ Laughter and applause ]
Larry: Well, the problem is, if they didn't remove him, they left him there, and he was negligent. He was having oral sex, as Bin Laden was building up his terrorist threat. What was he doing there? The Congress was equally as guilty for not looking in to what happened.
Dave: Bin laden was having oral sex?
Marilu: Bill Clinton, remember? Clinton.
Larry: Yeah, Bin Laden we don't know about where he's had oral sex.
Christopher: Well, now we know.
Larry: I wasn't referring to Bin Laden.
[ Laughter ]
Bill: Yes, as reported by the tabloid -- small penis, that's why he hates America.
Dave: Is the premise to your question now, if they hadn't been going after Clinton that way, if they hadn't done that that Bill Clinton would've taken out Osama Bin Laden, that he would've built up the armed forces, he would've built up the CIA.
Christopher: No.
Dave: Then what is the premise?
Christopher: He swears the oath of office whatever happens, okay? And that involves defending the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. There is no excuse for not doing that job. There is no excuse for not doing that job, and he flatly refused to do it.
Larry: And he will go down as the worst President in history.
Bill: You said, "Go down."
[ Laughter ]
Marilu: You think he's gonna go down as the worst --
Larry: He will go down as the worst President in American history. The legacy that he has left is a malignant cancer.
Bill: Right, peace and prosperity, God help us from that again.
Marilu: Yeah, really.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Larry: Where's the prosperity?
Bill: Where's the prosperity? I don't know, he left office, and it seemed to disappear, Larry.
Christopher: And what about the peace? What about the peace?
Bill: The peace? Again, he's gone, it's gone. I don't know, call me crazy.
Christopher: Yeah, I will. That's nuts. That's just -- that's a fatuous thing to say.
Bill: Why?
Christopher: He's gone and, suddenly, the Bin Laden network attacks the United States.
Bill: No, no, no. You asked me about peace.
Christopher: I did.
Bill: Okay. Well, all I'm saying is that, you know, when he was in office, we had a pretty good deal going on. I'm not saying that --
[ Applause ]
I'm not saying that September 11th wouldn't have happened, but I'm telling you something, when President Bush came in office, the whole tone changed. It was his directions to Middle East was, "You know what? You guys kill each other, I'll be on the ranch." And you know what? I don't think that message really goes well in that part of the world. At least Bill Clinton tried to make peace, and they appreciated that.
Larry: It's not because of Israel, and it's not because --
Bill: It's not because of Israel?
Larry: Not because of Israel. That's the pretext.
Bill: Oh, my God.
Larry: They want an Islamic revolution world wide. Islamic revolution. They declared war, not just against Jews, but against Christians everywhere. And that's just the excuse. So you can settle the Palestinian problem, and it won't stop bin laden, it won't stop the radical Arabs and Islamic people. They're gonna continue on. The want us destroyed, they want us dead. But I agree with you, again, the entire government failed to do its job, from the Federal Aviation Administration to Immigration Naturalization Service to the FBI. They were lying to the American people. And this cancer grew and now we're in failed state.
Bill: Well, why don't you sue them?
[ Laughter ]
Larry: We have.
Bill: You have?
Larry: You've been getting our press releases.
Dave: If Al Gore were President on September 11th, what would have happened, in your opinion?
Bill: Oh, I'm sure he would've done the same thing.
Dave: You mean Al Qaeda would've done the same thing, right?
Bill: Yes.
Dave: Okay.
Christopher: Give it up. Stop being obsessed with it. Let go.
[ Laughter ]
Bill: I'm obsessed with it? I'm not obsessed with it.
Christopher: Let go.
Bill: It's only because I've been reading so many reports in the last few days about how Bill Clinton let us down, Bill Clinton should've done this, Bill Clinton should've done that. And when I read it, I think to myself, "You know, it wasn't just Bill Clinton. A lot of the people who are on committees about our national security were so obsessed with Bill Clinton, and yes, this.
Marilu: That was the only thing you ever saw. That's all you ever saw, for years.
Larry: Even without the Clinton scandal, he wouldn't have done anything, you see? Because they want to sell their services. They want to say, "The world is great. The country is great. Vote for me. And all the while, this problem was brewing.
Christopher: The speech that Clinton gave on the day he destroyed the only pharmaceutical factory in Sudan, the speech he gave that night was exactly the same as speech Michael Douglas gives in "The American President." It was a woo-woo moment. It was a guy who was seriously up against it. Miss Lewinsky's going back to the grand jury, he hits the wrong target in Sudan, he kills the wrong people, he lets Bin Laden look good, he gets people who we've been looking for for a long time released by governments who are so angry --
[ Talking over each other ]
He never mentioned the Al Qaeda network ever again. And, I'm sorry, he's commander in chief, there's a Constitutional responsibility, there is no excuse for this.
Bill: Interesting you say that I'm obsessed. But he personally hit the wrong target. Now, the other day, we had a friendly fire accident. But I don't see you going, "You know, President Bush killed three of our men the other day. He hit the wrong target."
[ Applause ]
Christopher: No, no, wait.
Larry: That's not the same analogy.
Christopher: Hold your applause, please. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't deserve it.
[ Laughter ]
Mr. Bush can't direct every missile in Afghanistan, Mr. Clinton picked that target personally, and he overruled the joint chiefs and the CIA and the FBI to hit that target in Sudan. It's all in my strangely neglected book.
Larry: Not only that Bill, in "The Washington Post," a liberal publication, reported that Clinton had the ability to make a deal with Sudan to get Bin Laden back in 1997 and just looked the other way. Did nothing about it.
Christopher: Wasn't interested.
Bill: I find that hard to believe.
Christopher: There was no fundraising to be done either.
Bill: Well, can't we all agree --
Larry: Who donated to Hillary Clinton's campaigns in New York?
Bill: Radical muslim groups, that's right. They put him in the White House. It was Bin Laden.
Christopher: With his peace negotiations, as you call them, peace negotiations, it turned out there was a way of raising money from --
Larry: And let me tell you something else. Let me say something else.
Bill: Your saying that Bill Clinton got money from the terrorists and that's why he didn't go after Bin Laden. And I'm obsessed?
[ Light laughter ]
Christopher: You brought it up.
Larry: These politicians were getting money from all of them, from all of these interests to some extent. And they're compromised. And they didn't do their job. And let me tell you another thing, and I think you'll be surprised to hear this. Bush comes into power January 20th the year 2001. A lot of people voted for him because they wanted him to turn the rocks over, to immediately look at the national security problems, to look at terrorism. For eight months this administration did nothing. It's nowhere near the culpability of the Clinton administration that was for eight years. But no one did anything until 4,000 people got killed on September 11th. And it's time that people start questioning the government, not being "Yes" men, but asking that this government do it's job because that, under the Constitution, is their primary job, to protect us.
[ Applause ]
Bill: Okay. Here, here. We gotta take a break, we'll be right back.
[ Applause ]
Perhaps because since then the Bush administration doesn't even appear to have lifted a finger to investigate and prosecute ANY of the crimes committed by ANY MEMBER of the Clinton administration and DNC the last NINE years. NOT Chinagate, NOT Filegate, NOT Emailgate, NOT the death of Ron Brown, NOT the death of Foster, NOT the Riady Non-Refund, NOT the other campaign finance violations, NOT the election tampering, NOT the abuse of the IRS, NOT the abuse of FBI, NOT the selling of VETOS, NOT ANYTHING. Its been almost a year and they haven't even made progress in Pardongate. I challenged you before to provide ANY indication that these crimes were under investigation and you haven't. I've challenged ALL the "move-on'ers" to provide such indication. NONE of them have. If you ask me, Klayman just found out that the fix was in much sooner than the rest of us.
But ... as I've said previously, I'll give the Bush administration and the GOP to the next election before I actually "move-on" ... leave the Republican party. They still have time to redeem themselves where all of the above is concerned. They could start by exhuming and autopsying Ron Brown's body.
Well it wouldn't make any sense if you left before the next election would it? And there's not much of a threat in leaving after the next election is there?
Which party are you going to? Surely not the Democrats you hate so much.
The Libertarians? You'd have to turn queer and smoke dope while performing abortions on young girls.
The Green Party? Same as the Libertarians only you'd have to do it under the trees.
I doubt if you can even find the other parties. Most are just a P.O. Box for ordering their overpriced books about conspiracies.
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