Freeper mental institution

[patton]

You have an employee now?

Faith'n'b'ghorra. What is the world commin' to, now?

[ErnBatavia]

What I want to know is how or why you'd be getting back to a New Year's Day drunken thread to bump it!

[Jonah Hex]

I caught a part of a TV show last night where some people could fire ZOTs out the end of their fingers. Were these Mods moonlighting...

You must have caught a rerun of "The Mod Squad".

[Scenic Sounds]

Ms. Crawford has authorized and instructed me to deliver on her behalf her answer your question:

"Yes." ;-)

[avg_freeper]

Be My Yoko Ono

If there's someone you can live without, then do so.
And if there's someone you can just shove out; do so.

[Chorus]

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my,
Be my Yoko Ono.

Isn't it beautiful to see two people so much in love?
Barenaked as two virgins hand in hand and hand and hand in glove.
Now that I'm far away it doesn't seem to me to be such a pain.
To have you hanging off my ankle like some kind of ball and chain.

[Chorus]

Oh no, here we go, our life is just one big pun.
Oh no, here we go as Yoko sings
Aieee!

I know that when I say this, I may be stepping on pins and needles;
But I don't like all these people slagging her for breaking up the Beatles.
(Don't blame it on Yokey)
if I was John and you were Yoko, I would gladly give up musical genius,
just to have you as my very own, personal Venus.
(Hit it)

[Chorus]

[GrandMoM]

Ms. Crawford has authorized and instructed me to deliver on her behalf her answer your question:

"Yes." ;-)....is that a positive yes or a negative yes??????

[patton]

How interesting.

[Scenic Sounds]

"Yes." ;-)....is that a positive yes or a negative yes??????

It's entirely possible. In fact, I believe you're correct. ;-)

[avg_freeper]

The King Of Bedside Manor

You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet.
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared,
he's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet.

[Chorus]

You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door.
He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there anymore.

He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind
that I followed you into this shop
but I couldn't help but notice that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack,
Um, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback.
He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar
He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star.
You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor,
quite some time ago.
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show.

[Chorus]

Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane,
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain.

[Chorus]

He's not the King of Bedside Manor
He's not the King of Bedside Manor
Hardly even lives there anymore.

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king of Bedside Manor.

[potlatch]

1.] A 'real green' dress is REAL green.
2.] You pull up to a limousine, roll down the window and say "Would you have any Grey Poupon dijon ketchups?
3.] Turn around, the monkey is on your back!

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

My ancestors killed Abraham Lincoln. It haunts me still. Do you know where I can get a bucket of chicken?

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I thought we understood but didn't care. Now we have to figure out whose secret decoder ring is malfunctioning.

[Cathryn Crawford]

My ancestors killed Abraham Lincoln. It haunts me still. Do you know where I can get a bucket of chicken?

I don't know. I had Taco Bell.

[avg_freeper]

Old Man - (PUSA always goes well with BNL)

Happy with no teeth
Happy here in hibernation
Slurpin' on a peach
Starin' at the situation
Kitty on my foot
Meowin' out a conversation
Rockin' back and forth
That's my only destination

Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
And that old man is me!

Got a two string on my lap
Total subsonic vacation
Got chicken on the drums,
poundin' out a perfect prescription
Got twenty little worms
I'll plug in some amplification
Got fifteen hundred base drum - luggin bug-eyed monkeys
All arriving at the station

I'm sittin on the back porch, kickin' my legs back,
rockin' in my rocking chair, and sittin' there
On the little back porch is about to fall apart
So I think I might repair it
Just as I'm thinkin' about repairin' it,
Some little friends come along
with some two-string, one-string, no-string guitars
And they all plug em all in to the back porch
And they sit around playin' all their favorite songs
They's kickin' back feelin' real good,
real fine, real full of the wine
And everything's fine, everything's beautiful,
everything's great, I just feel so good
You know I'm seventy years old
and I'm slurpin' everything through a straw

[patton]

Well, mine is certainly malfunctioning - I thought you were talking about CC and SS being one and the same person!

[Chad Fairbanks]

Wow... and I thought I was weird...

Dude. Seek help. Oh wait, you already are ;0)

[potlatch]

Stealth attack. It's all the rage with disruptors now.

They must have run out of ZOTS!!

[Scenic Sounds]

My ancestors killed Abraham Lincoln. It haunts me still. Do you know where I can get a bucket of chicken?

ROFL.

I'm not sure, but I think you can only get there by bicycle. ;-)

[Senator Pardek]

Do you know where I can get a bucket of chicken?

Yeah - but it would require breaking into a chicken farm, and twisting off their heads before you dropped them into a bucket.

[Cathryn Crawford]

Well, mine is certainly malfunctioning - I thought you were talking about CC and SS being one and the same person!

You mean - am I not supposed to have more than one screen name? OMG! Don't tell the moderator! ;-)