Freeper mental institution

[potlatch]

but then no one ever cares about my posts anyway.

We all feel that way sometimes, don't fret.

[potlatch]

You gotta see this, LOL

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Pop the lid open and, using a stardriver, turn the fourth screw from the right a eighth of a turn to the left.

Close the top. Plug it into the recharger unit for three hours then buff with a soft leather shammy.

If that doesn't fix it then wrap it in two layers of tin foil and call me in the morning.

[Jeff Gordon]

I found a monkey for you.

[Scenic Sounds]

That did it. I'm pinging Quix over here. He can straighten all this out. ;-)

[avg_freeper]

and what would a strange song lyrics post be without a little "They Might Be Giants"

someone keeps moving my chair

Mr. Horrible
Mr. Horrible

Telephone call for Mr. Horrible
But before he can talk to the ugliness men
There's some horrible business left
For him to attend to
Something unpleasant has spilled on his brain
As he sponges it off they say:
"Is this Horrible?
Is this Horrible?
It's the ugliness men, Mr. Horrible
We're just trying to bug you
We thought our dreadfulness
Might be a thing to annoy you with."

CHORUS

But Mr. Horrible says, "I don't mind,
The thing that bothers me is
Someone keeps moving my chair."
"Would you mind if we balance
This glass of milk
Where your visiting friend
Accidentally was killed?
Would it be okay with you
If we wrote a reminder
of things we'll forget to do today otherwise
using a green magic marker, if it's alright
On the back of your head?

CHORUS

[patton]

Huh. That sounds surprisingly like the directions for correcting a German patato masher that cooked off in two seconds, instead of four...

[Cathryn Crawford]

Usted es terrible!

...and you revel in it! ROFL

[Senator Pardek]

A Texan who spelled "revel" properly - I'm impressed.

[Cathryn Crawford]

A Texan who spelled "revel" properly - I'm impressed.

I'm impressed that I impressed you. I must be impressive, indeed.

And is that a slur on Texas that I hear? Not good, not good. We don't take kindly to that, Senator. ;-)

[potlatch]

What I want to know is how or why you'd be getting back to a New Year's Day drunken thread to bump it!

Because these kind of threads are 'fun threads'. What ever happened to Focaults Pendulum? He used to have some crazy ones!!

[avg_freeper]

Much better set of 1,000,000 dollar lyrics:

If I Had A Million Dollars
by Barenaked Ladies

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had million dollars
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had million dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey)

If I had a million dollars
I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

You are using Secret Decoder Ring Maintenance and Repair Manual edition 24956743/c aren't you? The manual for the masher is edition 24956743/o. Using that manual will cause your ring to malfunction and send a pulse to your implant causing you to crave mashed potato salad for breakfast.

[Xenalyte]

It's spelled "Trekkie." Or the current preferred nomen, "Trekker."

[GrandMoM]

"Yes." ;-)....is that a positive yes or a negative yes?????? It's entirely possible. In fact, I believe you're correct. ;-)

....are you sure?????????? It's never happened before, I'll go check and see...........

[potlatch]

Gotta see this!! #64

[Xenalyte]

do sponges lose their sponginess when aroused?

All's I know is that my chewing gum DOES lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight.

For the record, Laz, you're a goon. And I mean that in the most loving way.

[patton]

Ummmmmm. Patato pancakes....

[Scenic Sounds]

....are you sure?????????? It's never happened before, I'll go check and see...........

Well, I'm not positive, so both Ms. Crawford and I will appreciate your checking, just to make sure.

And, be careful where you park the bike. I'm told it's a terrible neighborhood. ;-)

[Chad Fairbanks]

I care. Really. I mean that. Honest.