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Who here has served on jury duty and has a good excuse to get off?
me ^ | Feb. 6, 2002 | me

Posted on 02/06/2002 5:48:13 PM PST by Nachum

The county of Los Angeles refused to accept the excuses I put down. As in the days of the military draft, I have been called into service. Worse yet, the judge won't let me off after I explained my financial duress in a possible two week criminal trial. Now we come to JURY SELECTOION. I have to think of a good line to tell the prosecuting and defense attorney to convice them that I would be a poor choice to sit on their jury.

So- I am asking my fellow FReepers if they have had similar experience and can give guidance, a good retort, or tactic. I am counting on you!


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Any good one liners?
1 posted on 02/06/2002 5:48:13 PM PST by Nachum
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To: Nachum
It depends on what the case is about.
2 posted on 02/06/2002 5:50:29 PM PST by riley1992
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To: Nachum
As a citizen, you have an obligation to serve on a jury if called. Is two weeks of your life to much to ask?
3 posted on 02/06/2002 5:51:42 PM PST by Jean S
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To: Nachum
"I'll make a great juror. I can tell if somebody is guilty just by looking at them"
4 posted on 02/06/2002 5:51:51 PM PST by He Rides A White Horse
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To: Nachum
Tell us why you do not want to serve ... and what 'excuses' you have given the court so far ...
5 posted on 02/06/2002 5:52:09 PM PST by yazd
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To: Nachum
"Yes, I can render a fair and impartial decision...as long as we get to hang him/her with a new rope."
6 posted on 02/06/2002 5:52:20 PM PST by TomGuy
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To: Nachum
If you want to avoid jury duty that badly, just mention the words "jury nullification" during the selection process.
7 posted on 02/06/2002 5:52:57 PM PST by flada
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To: Nachum
Tell them you listen to Rush Limbaugh. Works every time. Seriously.
8 posted on 02/06/2002 5:53:02 PM PST by M. Thatcher
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Comment #9 Removed by Moderator

To: Nachum
Wear a Klan hood. You might not get out of the building alive, but you'd avoid the jury duty.
10 posted on 02/06/2002 5:53:20 PM PST by PLMerite
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To: Nachum
I once told a judge and attorneys, forget the trial. Get a rope and we'll hang'im now. Almost cost me 72 hours in the slammer for contempt. Now I just approach the bench and tell them quietly I have strong feelings about the defendants guilt and could not in good faith serve as an impartial juror. Has worked every time.

regards - red

11 posted on 02/06/2002 5:53:43 PM PST by rednek
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Comment #12 Removed by Moderator

To: PLMerite
In L.A. I'm sure a "Rush is Right" t-shirt will do in a pinch.
13 posted on 02/06/2002 5:54:18 PM PST by PLMerite
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To: Nachum
My dad's a cop, my wife works for the Border Patrol
14 posted on 02/06/2002 5:54:28 PM PST by pfflier
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To: Nachum
I've served on jury three times and I keep getting rejected for trial because of my conservative beliefs. Once I was asked if I believed in the death penalty for first degree murder. I replied that I not only believed in the death penalty for first degree murderers but that it should be applied for third time felonies as well. I was immediately dismissed from the panel.
15 posted on 02/06/2002 5:54:31 PM PST by SamAdams76
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To: TomGuy
I liked jury duty and felt like a good citizen when I did it. If you ever need a trial for yourself, wouldn't you want good jurors. Go and be thankful you are able to,,it is a duty of every citizen. Sorry I got no excuses and think excuses are a sign of a sorry bunch of citizens.
16 posted on 02/06/2002 5:54:32 PM PST by cajungirl
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To: Nachum
I believe that a person who was arrested must be guilty or else why was he/she arrested?
17 posted on 02/06/2002 5:54:32 PM PST by diefree
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To: Nachum
Two words will get you off: "jury nullification." But, now that I know about it, I WANT to get on a jury and use it. The trick will be not getting thrown off beforehand. It would be good if more people could manage to get on juries who know about jury nullification.
18 posted on 02/06/2002 5:54:37 PM PST by coloradan
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To: Nachum
I believe I have the right to judge the law. Serve if you can. Great experience.
19 posted on 02/06/2002 5:54:46 PM PST by jwh_Denver
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To: Nachum
I wrote I was under care of shrink. They took my name off their list forever.
20 posted on 02/06/2002 5:54:50 PM PST by cynicom
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To: Nachum
No problem, just tell them that the justice system is totally rigged, that lawyers are evil incarnate, and that as far as you are concerned everyone involved with the justice system is either a liar, a sociopath, or hopelessly naive. Be sure to explain that the reason Lady Justice has scales is so she can weigh how much gold each side is willing to spend on the case, and whoever spends the most wins. That should do it!
21 posted on 02/06/2002 5:54:59 PM PST by Billy_bob_bob
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To: JeanS
Totally agree.
22 posted on 02/06/2002 5:55:27 PM PST by JoeSixPack1
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To: Nachum
One good line: "They wouldn't be here if they weren't guilty of something"

Another good line: "I hate cops. They all lie".

If you use both lines, I don't think either side will want you on the jury.
23 posted on 02/06/2002 5:55:41 PM PST by Poser
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To: Nachum
If you are a reasonable person you should play your part. We have far too many messed up jurors.
24 posted on 02/06/2002 5:55:54 PM PST by shempy
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To: Nachum
Mention your three prior felonies. That ought to do the trick.
25 posted on 02/06/2002 5:55:55 PM PST by Grim
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To: JeanS
Is two weeks of your life to much to ask?

That depends. If you have small children who will have to go into some sort of day care to allow you to do that, do you think that is too much to ask? I sure do.

26 posted on 02/06/2002 5:55:57 PM PST by riley1992
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To: Nachum
Print this thread and show the judge or any of the attorneys and you'll be off........ No problem....
27 posted on 02/06/2002 5:55:58 PM PST by deport
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To: Nachum
"OJ WAS INNOCENT!!!"
28 posted on 02/06/2002 5:56:44 PM PST by kezekiel
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To: Nachum
It's very simple. Bring in some literature from the Fully Informed Jury Association (I'm sure they have stuff you can download) and make certain the lawyers and/or judge are aware that you have it. Let them see it, or if necessary ask them about it. I guarantee you, you'll have zero chance of being allowed on a jury.
29 posted on 02/06/2002 5:57:32 PM PST by dpwiener
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To: Nachum
Just say,
"Mr. T says 'I pity the fool who picks me for yo jury'."
30 posted on 02/06/2002 5:57:50 PM PST by Rightwing Canuck
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To: Darth Falar
Goodie Two Shoes Alert!

U.S. Constitution
Bill of Rights
Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

31 posted on 02/06/2002 5:58:36 PM PST by Jean S
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To: Darth Falar
"I'm not sure I can trust the legal system since it's the same system that lets the Mossad crash planes into the WTC and Blacks run loose."

I Think the Mossad is in your Underwear........
32 posted on 02/06/2002 5:58:50 PM PST by cmsgop
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To: Billy_bob_bob
I know a criminal defense lawyer in Brooklyn who told me almost the exact same thing.
33 posted on 02/06/2002 5:59:09 PM PST by diefree
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To: Nachum
Financial considerations aside, this could be an opportunity to keep one of your fellow citizens from being run over by a government steamroller.
34 posted on 02/06/2002 5:59:25 PM PST by pa_dweller
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To: Nachum
Actually, you should serve. The Justice system needs more freepers to serve in order to compensate for "OJ jurors" and other misfits.

I have served several times and have enjoyed the experience. Unfortunately, I doubt if I will ever serve again, I have been screwed by too many attornies, hate them all without exception, and tell everyone freely that all attornies are worse than scum.

Do you know why an attorney is like a sperm?







Because they both have less that a one in a million chance of becoming human.

35 posted on 02/06/2002 5:59:49 PM PST by DeSoto
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To: Nachum
A Tee Shirt that says "Kill'em all and let G*d sort'em out"

or

just bring a Bible to read during the down time. ;)

36 posted on 02/06/2002 5:59:52 PM PST by CathyRyan
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To: Nachum
I had surgery for diverticulits in December; but I get back in the jury pool in April so I may have to use some of these suggestions later...
37 posted on 02/06/2002 5:59:57 PM PST by Keith in Iowa
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To: Nachum
I'm pushing 40, and I've never even been called to serve on a jury. I think it would be interesting.
38 posted on 02/06/2002 5:59:59 PM PST by UnsinkableMollyBrown
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To: Nachum
I served on two juries, and initially was proud to do so. However, after seeing how our judicial system functions (notice I didn't say "works") I was totally disgusted.

The third time I was called to serve, the facts in the case were so obvious that the defendant was guilty (it was a DUI), that I looked around the courtroom and thought of the tremendous waste that was occurring here. Waste of taxpayer dollars, waste of human resources sitting in a courtroom hour after hour, not even knowing whether they would be selected to serve, or summarily dismissed.

At that time I was engaged in a major project at work, so I asked the bailiff if I might talk to the judge in order to be dismissed. He informed me that ,No, I would not be allowed to address Her Majesty, but I could write her a note with the reason for requesting to be excused.

I proceeded to pen a screed deploring the waste of taxpayer dollars on a farce of a trial where a defendant was so obviously guilty, with her taxpayer-provided public defender was trying to convince us great unwashed potential jurors of her innocence.

The bailiff took my note, brought it to Her Greatness the Judge. He emerged from her private chambers a few minutes later and informed me that Her Eminence had issued a directive for me to sit down and shut up - that I would no doubt be excused during the voir dire.

Lo and behold, I was never even called for voir dire, but the upshot is that I have not received a jury duty notice since - and this was 10 years ago. I honestly believe that I insulted Her Grand Poohbahness by daring to question the legal system and she had my name stricken from the pool of potential jurors. Oh well...

39 posted on 02/06/2002 6:00:11 PM PST by Inspectorette
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To: Nachum
I wanted to serve. I'm a salesman whose ability to earn is adversly impacted by sitting at home waiting to be called. I explained my situation to the Bailiff and was granted a waiver.

In retrospect, given how awful the economy was then, I should have just served and kept my mouth shut.

40 posted on 02/06/2002 6:00:20 PM PST by knowtherules
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To: Nachum
Are you kidding or what?I have never been selected, but would love to be a jurist.It may be inconvenient, but if only the people who cant get out of it serve, God help all of us.Does OJ ring any bells for you?
41 posted on 02/06/2002 6:00:28 PM PST by sarasmom
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To: Nachum
I was called and asked to serve on a jury that could last a minimum of 3 weeks (civil trial). There was no bus service in our area and I was the sole means of getting children to and from school - and one was in school only half day, so they had to let me drive a half hour to pick him up, find COSTLY day care (I'm a STAY-AT-HOME MOM) , and then drive another 1/2 hour back to the courthouse. You get the picture . . . I wasn't even asked to come back the second day!
42 posted on 02/06/2002 6:00:30 PM PST by WIladyconservative
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To: Nachum
wouldn't you want someone like you on a jury trial you were having? I had the same problem with a murder trial, two small kids, big inconvenience... but then I realized that if all those that were clever enough to get out of jury duty did get off, then WHO would be deciding the fait of the trial.
43 posted on 02/06/2002 6:00:33 PM PST by nini
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To: Nachum
Tell 'em you hate gangs. That's what my sister told them, she's an RN and it worked for her.
44 posted on 02/06/2002 6:00:39 PM PST by kstewskis
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To: Nachum
"We shall deliver the punishment that the Prophet commands, may Allah be praised."
45 posted on 02/06/2002 6:00:44 PM PST by kezekiel
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To: Nachum
I worked with a woman who was very eager to be selected for jury duty. She would actually be happy when she was notified to appear for jury selection and sadly for her they never picked her ---she never understood why ---but I think if you look too eager like you really want to be picked, they won't pick you.
46 posted on 02/06/2002 6:01:10 PM PST by FITZ
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To: Nachum
If you're self-employed you can always use the "economic harship" defense to get out of jury duty.
47 posted on 02/06/2002 6:01:13 PM PST by koba
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To: Nachum
Tell the judge that jury duty is unconstitutional under the thirteeth amendement prohibition against involuntary servitude. You will be instantly sent out of the courtroom. It has worked for me a few times.
48 posted on 02/06/2002 6:01:24 PM PST by killjoy
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To: Nachum
Just tell them you are a racist and you are against the death penatly
49 posted on 02/06/2002 6:01:42 PM PST by ContentiousObjector
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To: Nachum
Just tell them you are a racist and you are against the death penatly
50 posted on 02/06/2002 6:01:43 PM PST by ContentiousObjector
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