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'The Simpsons' gives Gamecocks something to crow about
Goupstate News ^ | February 22, 2002 | Jose Franco

Posted on 02/22/2002 6:05:11 AM PST by aomagrat

D-oh! Sunday’s episode of the long-running Fox animated sitcom “The Simpsons” poked a little fun at the University of South Carolina with a little help from characters Homer and second-grader Lisa.

After Lisa begs her father to send her to preparatory school, Homer replies: “When it’s time for college, I promise, my darling daughter, to send you to the finest college there is (long pause) in South Carolina.”

“I will not be a Gamecock!” Lisa exclaims as she grips the preparatory school’s fence.

“You will, too!” Homer replies.

Gamecock fans expressed plenty of opinions on the matter on USC’s Web site, One fan wondered whether it was a compliment. Or is Homer a Gamecock fan?

Neither a spokesperson for “The Simpsons” nor USC has returned my calls.

TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons

GO COCKS!!!!!!
1 posted on 02/22/2002 6:05:11 AM PST by aomagrat
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To: Gamecock
We're famous!
2 posted on 02/22/2002 6:05:46 AM PST by aomagrat
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To: aomagrat
I think they've been making this sort of joke for a while now, with other colleges mentioned (stanford, etc.)
3 posted on 02/22/2002 6:08:36 AM PST by Anotherpundit
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To: aomagrat
Heck, even I have a 'Cocks hat. My reasons are far more juvenile though.
4 posted on 02/22/2002 6:09:26 AM PST by LoneGOPinCT
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To: aomagrat
Well Lisa could have replyed "I won't be a tiger." At least that settles who the best school in South Carolina is. Sorry Clemson.
5 posted on 02/22/2002 6:19:54 AM PST by Honcho
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To: Honcho
Good point!
6 posted on 02/22/2002 6:22:32 AM PST by aomagrat
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To: aomagrat; All
Carolina's (the correct one, i.e., the southern most) motto:

Emollit mores nec sinit esse feros (from Ovid) and meaning approximately "Makes gentle the character and does not allow it to be unrefined."

And, MOO COLLEGE (now U) cannot make that claim.

7 posted on 02/22/2002 6:31:26 AM PST by jamaksin
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To: jamaksin
Hey, FWIW I was thinking about the Citadel. But didn't they already have the Bart and Lisa go to Military school episode?
8 posted on 02/22/2002 6:42:28 AM PST by Down South
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To: Honcho
Sorry my ass. Clemson is clearly the best school in SC. After all we are a Top 40 public university and Time Magazine's Public College of the Year. Go play with your cocks!!!
9 posted on 02/22/2002 6:47:22 AM PST by Conservative Tiger
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To: Conservative Tiger
Time Magazine's Public College of the Year

Ohhh, I'm so envious < /sarcasm>

10 posted on 02/22/2002 8:26:34 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: Gamecock
Just look at any other reputable college ranking and you will find Clemson light years ahead of USuC. Besides your school is located in the armpit of SC, Columbia.
11 posted on 02/22/2002 12:19:17 PM PST by Conservative Tiger
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To: Conservative Tiger;aomagrat
Just look at any other reputable college ranking and you will find Clemson light years ahead of USuC
But instead you chose that liberal rag, Time.

With students like Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements, I cansee why you are proud! "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."

How many Clemson students does it take to change a light bulb?
None -- Clemson doesn't have electricity.


Name: _____________________________
Nickname: _________________________
CB Handle: ________________________
Address: (RFD #): _________________

Daddy (If unknown, list 3 suspects): ________________
Mamma: ______________________
Neck Shade:  __Light Red  __Medium Red  __Dark Red
Number of teeth exposed in full grin:  Upper:___  Lower:___

Name of pickup owned: ____________  Height of truck: ______
Truck equipped with:
  __Gun Rack         __4-Wheel Drive    __Big Dog
  __Cassette Deck    __8-Track Tape     __Load of Wood
  __Hijacker Shocks  __Radar Detector   __Mag Wheels
  __Dual CB Antennas __Spittoon (this category includes old
                                 Red White and Blue beer cans)
  __Camper Top       __Air Horns        __Mud Flaps
  __Toothpick Holder __Mud-Grip Tires   __Raccoon Hide
  __Sheepskin Seat Covers
Number of empty beer cans in pickup bed: ____
Depth of permanent mud on sides of pickup: ____
Bumper stickers on truck:
  __"Eat more Possum"
  __"My other car is a piece of junk, too"
  __"Honk if you love Jesus"
  __"If you ain't a cowboy, you ain't nothin'"
  __"Jesse Helms for President"
  __"Redman Chewing Tobacco"
  __"The day they take my gun away is the day they pry it from
     my cold dead fingers"

Define the following (must be 90% correct):
   1. Grits
   2. Goobers (either the nut or the TV character)
   3. Pintos (either the bean or the car)
   4. Collards
   5. Sidemeat
   6. Sawmill Gravy
   7. Turnip Salad
   8. Redeye Gravy
   9. Soppin' Syrup
  10. Poke
  11. Cobbler
  12. Fatback
  13. Tote
  14. Chickin' Fry
  15. Chitlins
  16. Tater
  17. Pig Skins
  18. Cheetah (either the animal or the Alabama football program)
  19. Okrie
  20. "Shonuf"

Favorite Vocalist:
  __Reba  __Dolly  __Conway  __Loretta  __Porter  __Hank, Sr.
  __Hank, Jr.  __Willie Nelson  __Ray Wylie Hubbard  __Randy Travis
  __Tammy Wynette  __Slim Whitman  __George Jones  __Box Car Willie

Favorite Recreation:
  __Square Dancin '  __Possum Huntin'   __Skinny Dippin'
  __Craw Daddin'     __Gospel Singin'   __4-Wheelin'
  __Drankin'         __Spittin' Backy   __Bull Chip Throwin'
  __Honky Tonkin'    __Noodlin'         __Otherin'

Name of son(s):
  __Jim Bob  __Billy Bob  __Bob Bob  __LeeRoy  __J.D.  __Bubba
Name of Daughter(s):
  __Pammy Sue  __Violet  __Paulette  __Dolly  __Daisy  __Bubba

Weapons Owned:
  __Deer Rifle      __Sawed-off Shotgun  __Varmint Rifle
  __Tire Iron       __Chain Saw          __Motorcycle Chain
  __Pick Handle     __Hick'ry Switch     __Rotwieler
  __Broken Beer Bottle (long neck)

Number of Dogs: ___
  Type of Dog(s): __Blue Tick  __Beagle  __Black & Tan  __Bird Dawg

Cap Emblem:
  __John Deere    __McCulloch Chain Saws  __Bud
  __VA-Tech       __Skoal                 __Coors
  __NAPA          __Dale Earnhardt #3     __Richard Petty #43
  __Hooters Restaurants - "More than a mouthful"
  __"Smile if you're not wearin' underwear"
  __"Keep the South beautiful -- Put a Yankee on a bus"

Number of Dependents:  Legal:____  Claimed:____

Number of weeks unemployed:____ (if you can't count that high,
  use number of years)

Number of Welfare checks received:____

  __NRA      __Moose      __PTL Club    __700 Club
  __AAA      __AA         __Bass        __Bill Dance Fan Club
  __John Birch Society    __any militia group

Length of:  Right Leg:____   Left Leg:____

Does your truck contain some part painted the official alumni
  association color of primer red? __Yes  __No  (Check only one)

How many vehicles do you have up on blocks in your front yard? ___

How many kitchen appliances do you have (or are you willing to have)
  on your front porch? ___

Do you ever plan to install indoor plumbing in your house (or do you
  see this as an unnecessary luxury)?  ___Yes  ___No

Will you (or do you now) wear mostly double-knit polyester pants
  with snags?   ___Yes  ___No

Do you own shoes?  ___Yes  ___No  If yes, how many (odd number
  OK)? ___

Are you married to any of the following:
  ___Sister   ___Cousin   ___Sow
What is her name (if known)? ________________ (You may write an "X",
  if that's how she signs her name)
Does your wife weigh more than your pickup truck?  ___Yes  ___No

Can you sign your name and get the spelling right every time?
  ___Yes   ___No   ___Not Sure

Can you count past ten without removing your shoes (assuming you're
  wearing shoes)?  ___Yes   ___No   ___Ten is too high

Do you know any words that have more than four letters?
  ___Yes  ___No   If yes, list it:____________

Have you ever had more than one bath per week?  ___Yes  ___No
  If yes, what was the occasion? _______________

Medical Information:
  Do you have at least two of the following:
  __B.O.   __Head Lice   __Rabies   __Trench Mouth   __Runny Nose
  __Bad Breath   __Teeth

------------------------- End of Application --------------------------

Note that if your application is turned down by the Clempson,
you may be eligible to apply to the University of Georgia, as their
standards are slightly lower.  However, you would still be eligible to
visit Clempson (if you can find it).

12 posted on 02/22/2002 12:37:21 PM PST by Gamecock
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To: Gamecock
Good one!

Directions to Clemson? North till ya smell it, west till ya step in it.
Why do Clemson fans wear orange? They can wear it during the week while picking up trash on the highway, and to the game on Saturday.
Did you hear that Clemson is changing the logo on their helmets from a paw print to a thumb print?
Why does it take the Clemson team such a long time to return from away games? John Deere tractors don't go that fast.

13 posted on 02/22/2002 4:59:59 PM PST by aomagrat
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To: aomagrat
What does IPTAY stand for?

1. I Plow Thirty Acres Yearly
2. I Pay Two Athletes A Year
3. It's Prison Time Again Ya'll

You know, she sounds like she's haven a hissy fit, must be the
spanking that them boys got the last 2 years. < /southern accent>

14 posted on 02/22/2002 6:47:39 PM PST by Gamecock
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