What is Creationism?

2000

[PatrickHenry]

So many creation myths, so little time!

And if you deny any one of them -- and that one just happens to be the true version -- you're in big trouble. I'm not taking any chances. I embrace them all.

[longshadow]

I embrace them all.

Poly-Creationist?

[Youngblood]

Geocentrists accept a spherical earth but deny that the sun is the center of the solar system or that the earth moves. As with flat-earth views, the water of Noah's flood came from above a solid firmament. The basis for their belief is a literal reading of the Bible. "It is not an interpretation at all, it is what the words say." (Willis 2000) .... Geocentrism is not common today, but one geocentrist (Tom Willis) was instrumental in revising the Kansas elementary school curriculum to remove references to evolution, earth history, and science methodology.

This person was allowed to decide the science curriculum?!!

[Hajman]

The geocentric flat-earthers are the only creationists with a consistent position -- absolute, unyielding scriptural inerrancy. All other creationists are wishy-washy.

No, actually they're creationists who read things out of context. But who's counting? ;)

I trust you're having a good Monday? (Are 'good' and 'Monday' allow in the same sentence?)

-The Hajman-

[PatrickHenry]

I trust you're having a good Monday?

Indeed I am. Good to see you, Hajman.

[Poohbah]

I am shocked, shocked to see that this article fails to include the Melanesian Creation myth of the Cargo Cult.

All Cargo Cultists know that the Universe fell out of the cargo hold of a C-47.

Heretic! All followers of the One True Cargo Cult know that the Universe fell out of the cargo hold of an R4D!

Do not be deceived by the blasphemous lies of longshadow, who has been seduced into apostasy!

[PatrickHenry]

Poly-Creationist?

Multi-mythologism. Trans-theism.

[Youngblood]

The Omphalos argument, first expounded in a book of that name by Philip Henry Gosse (1857), argues that the universe was created young but with the appearance of age, indeed that an appearance of age is necessary.

Why would an appearance of age be necessary? Is it to test our faith?

Desperation...

[Dimensio]

What? No mention of the Church of Last Thursday?

[JediGirl]

No, actually they're creationists who read things out of context. But who's counting? ;)

"Flat Earthers believe that the earth is flat and is covered by a solid dome or firmament. Waters above the firmament were the source of Noah's flood. This belief is based on a literal reading of the Bible, such as references to the "four corners of the earth" and the "circle of the earth." Few people hold this extreme view, but some do. "

But that's what the Bible says!! How are they reading it out of context?

Isaiah 41:9
I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

Revelation 7:1
After this I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, holding back the four winds of the earth to prevent any wind from blowing on the land or on the sea or on any tree.

Revelation 20:8
and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth–Gog and Magog–to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore.

-Sarah

[Hajman]

All Cargo Cultists know that the Universe fell out of the cargo hold of a C-47.

Heretic! All followers of the One True Cargo Cult know that the Universe fell out of the cargo hold of an R4D!

Bah, you're both wrong! The R4D fell out of the C-47!

-The Hajman-

[BMCDA]

Sounds clever but what happens if one creation myth states that "Thou shalt have no other creation myths before Me"? ;-D

^{BTW you have freepmail}

[BMCDA]

Damn it! You beat me to it.

[Hajman]

The earth does have four corners: North, east, south, west. I don't know about where you live, but the four directions of earth are commonly refered to as such as well (and visa versa). Revelations is highly metaphorical.

-The Hajman-

[PatrickHenry]

Why would an appearance of age be necessary? Is it to test our faith?

I think it's related to the question of whether Adam was created with a belly-button. It is said (by those who deal in such issues) that he had one, because that's what a man looks like. Similarly [and wildly skipping over several gaps in logic] the appearance of an ancient universe is based on the same idea. It's the same as Adam's belly-button, writ large.

[longshadow]

Heretic! All followers of the One True Cargo Cult know that the Universe fell out of the cargo hold of an R4D!

Do not be deceived by the blasphemous lies of longshadow, who has been seduced into apostasy!

INFIDEL! UNBELIEVER!

May you be crushed under the weight of a thousand cardboard suitcases!

ALL TRUE BELIEVERS KNOW it came from the belly of a Douglas C-47 Dakota!

Note to lurkers: "Poobah" and I are engaging in a light-hearted satire, there is no need to hit the abuse button, or ask moderators to lock the thread. AS an aside, the sort of argument we are PRETENDING to have is apparently EXACTLY the type of thing that actually happens among the Melanesian Cargo Cults. Splinter cults are forever cropping up, based on alternate interpretations of the Cargo Myth, and a battle ensues for control. Many times, the splinter group goes off and starts their own village, worshiping in accordance with their interpretation of the myth.

But in the end, they are still Cargo Cults: they worship the return of "John Frum", with his airplanes full of booty, and they continue to use their bamboo headphones and mock-up control towers as tools to hasten the return of their "Savior."

And I'm not making this up.....

[Youngblood]

Thanks for the link!

[Poohbah]

I, as Supreme Grand Potentate, Patriarch, and Head Bull Goose Looney of The One True Cargo Cult, decree a fatwa on the blasphemer known as Hajman, on grounds of heresy regarding the origins of the Universe and for being a Barry Manilow fan.

[PatrickHenry]

Sounds clever but what happens if one creation myth states that "Thou shalt have no other creation myths before Me"?

No problem. I hold them all simultaneously, as equals. Thus none is held to be superior to any others. I'm not taking any chances.

BTW you have freepmail

So do you.

[Poohbah]

I love the smell of internecine theological squabbling in the afternoon...