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Draft of Bush MidEast Peace Plan Leaked
Floppy disk | unknown | unknown

Posted on 06/18/2002 5:55:45 PM PDT by parsifal

Rough Draft Of Bush Peace Plan Leaked!

This was found on a floppy disk somewhere in the U.S. It's accuracy can not be confirmed.

Hey Karl,

How are you? Fine I hope. Please read this here peace plan for Israel and pass a copy over to Dick Cheeny and Colon Powell. Go ahead and correct all my spelling errors because you know I can't spell worth a hoot. The grammar might need a little work, too, but heck, what are Cheefs of Staff for, anyway? George W.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the U.S.A. Hello tonight the 20th of June, 2002. I am coming to you on television because this is real important.

As you all know there is a war on terror that we are all fighting. But we have had to stop it for a while because them S.O.B.s in Pallastein is so busy killing the Jews in Israel. All the Arabs hates the Jews so if we bomb us some terrorist Arabs, they will think that the United States is all Jewish. Which we are not.

Every time I pick up the paper I see where the PLOs have bombed another bus or pizza parlor and frankly I have had about enough. There is dead women and children all over the place. I think that us Americans has been going around trying to be sophisticated and that has got us nowhere. We invite them little Pallesteinian weasels over here to Camp David and try to treat them polite. We shake their hands and compliment them and don't let on what a bunch of murdering little thugs they are. We sit around and tell everybody how much we all want peace, like them little no-good SOBs is one of us and wants peace, too. Well to hell with all that.

I got me a new peace plan and if this don't hairlip the little SOBs then I don't know what will:

1) Pallastein: You got 7 days to replace that no good little bast*rd Arafat. I don't care if you kill him or not and if I gets my wish he would be brought in Dead not Alive.

2) You got 7 days after that to get you a new Pallesteinian gov't going, and I mean one that don't put up with no crap from Hamas, Hezzboolahs, Islamit Jeehods (Karl I spelled it like it sounds but I think it is wrong. GW.) These bombings is going to end and I mean now.

3) To make sure that you PLOs get the message, I am selling (on credit) 50 B-52 bombers to the Jews in Israel. Plus all the bombs they can tote.

4) On the way over to deliver them, I am sending a bunch of bombs that I suspect is defective. I think these bombs are so defective that it wouldn't be safe to land the planes and I may have to order them dropped somewhere. Like on Arafat if he ain't gone by then and some of your cities to boot. Do you get my drift?

5) In the meantime, you had better get cracking because I think the Jews is about ready to start that eye for an eye stuff real serious and I am going to give them the tools to do it with. Since you guys outnumber them about 100 to 1, I figure them B-52s will bring a little equality to the region.

6) I had better not ever see no more of them Arab hollering and jibbering women on TV like I did when we got bombed or I swear I will drop a bomb down every chimeny in every mudhut in that village.

Yours very truly,

Do you think this will work, Karl? I really am fed up with these no good little four-flushers. Talk about "All-Turban and No Cows." I made that up myself. Think I can work it into the speech? GW. GWB.


TOPICS: Free Republic; Front Page News; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: b52s; pallasteinians; plos
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I do not know if this is for real or not. It was on a floppy disk and it sounds like Bush. parsy the finder of lost objects.
1 posted on 06/18/2002 5:55:46 PM PDT by parsifal
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To: parsifal
Funny but needs some more work.
2 posted on 06/18/2002 5:59:33 PM PDT by dennisw
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To: parsifal
I do not know if this is for real or not. It was on a floppy disk and it sounds like Bush. parsy the finder of lost objects.

Give me a break.

Some schmuck who thought he was funny wrote this... Too bad he's not.

3 posted on 06/18/2002 6:02:44 PM PDT by SunStar
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To: parsifal
Good plan.

g

4 posted on 06/18/2002 6:03:41 PM PDT by Geezerette
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To: parsifal
You must be Paul Begala. Or just as stupid.
5 posted on 06/18/2002 6:05:00 PM PDT by looney tune
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To: parsifal
I do not know if this is for real or not.

You Can't be serious ?
6 posted on 06/18/2002 6:05:22 PM PDT by cmsgop
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To: parsifal
Perhaps you should stay with sticking up for defense attorneys. Humor ain't your bag.
7 posted on 06/18/2002 6:09:09 PM PDT by A Citizen Reporter
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To: parsifal
You feeble attempt at humor on such a serious situation leaves everything to be desired. Especially your comments if you don't know it is real! Surprised you didn't put this crap in breaking news!
8 posted on 06/18/2002 6:22:56 PM PDT by PhiKapMom
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To: PhiKapMom
I think Bush's latest plan (if this is indeed his plan) would be a lot more effective than what has gone before. It makes me sick to watch the way we slither around that toad Arafat and talk about peace. If I was president and he came to Camp David, I would have to kick his a**. I don't think I could hold back. parsy.
9 posted on 06/18/2002 6:26:09 PM PDT by parsifal
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To: All

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10 posted on 06/18/2002 6:26:42 PM PDT by Bob J
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To: parsifal
It sounds more like your co-workers in Arkansas that all earn the minimum wage, for some reason I can't quite fathom.
11 posted on 06/18/2002 6:34:24 PM PDT by Torie
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To: Torie
From the tone and the message, I can definitely tell you that a Southerner wrote it. I bet there is going to be some surpised freepers here is this speech (cleaned up a little) is the essence of the Bush's plan Thursday nite. parsy.
12 posted on 06/18/2002 6:38:09 PM PDT by parsifal
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To: SunStar
It's accuracy can not be confirmed.

The only honest statement in the post...

I agree. It's not funny. Only parsey's attempt to put President Bush down. It's his thing.

13 posted on 06/18/2002 7:17:34 PM PDT by zip
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To: parsifal
Bush did not write this, for one thing he's to compassionate to do anything that bad to Arafat and the other thing is, he's not smart enough to write out a plan.
14 posted on 06/18/2002 7:42:39 PM PDT by IW
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To: parsifal
I do not know if this is for real or not. It was on a floppy disk and it sounds like Bush. parsy the finder of lost objects.

I'm sure it was a Plant to see who the mole was that kept leaking stuff, Perhaps we will all see you fired on Fox news tomorrow for this post! Unreal,, < rollin eyes> sarcasm off/

Headline will read, Parsy, Finder of Lost Employment

15 posted on 06/18/2002 7:52:27 PM PDT by Japedo
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To: parsifal
The sad thing is that this is probably more sensible that the real plan.
16 posted on 06/18/2002 7:56:15 PM PDT by steve-b
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To: parsifal
Ah, if only..............!
17 posted on 06/18/2002 7:57:04 PM PDT by ladyinred
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To: IW
Oh come on, this isn't real, not even close! To say that Bush isn't smart enough to write down a plan is just ludicrous and sounds like a Democrat statement.
18 posted on 06/18/2002 7:59:59 PM PDT by ladyinred
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To: SunStar
I don't know, I thought this part was pretty good:

6) I had better not ever see no more of them Arab hollering and jibbering women on TV like I did when we got bombed or I swear I will drop a bomb down every chimeny in every mudhut in that village.

LoL!!!!

19 posted on 06/18/2002 8:14:45 PM PDT by Alas Babylon!
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To: parsifal
This is not funny, but insulting and making fun of the commander in chief.
20 posted on 06/18/2002 8:19:04 PM PDT by rwfromkansas
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To: Alas Babylon!
Yeah, I would like to see that in the plan, but it won't be. Bush isn't that tough.
21 posted on 06/18/2002 8:21:44 PM PDT by rwfromkansas
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To: Geezerette
Since Bush is pro Palestinian and anti Israel this is never going to happen.
22 posted on 06/18/2002 8:24:14 PM PDT by willyone
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To: PhiKapMom
I was gonna ask .. who uses floppy disks anymore
23 posted on 06/18/2002 8:26:30 PM PDT by Mo1
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To: parsifal
"From the tone and the message, I can definitely tell you that a Southerner wrote it. "

No, someone with no concept of southernisms wrote this in an attempt to be funny. I believe that someone is you...and it's the most embarrassingly unfunny thing I've read since I've been here.

24 posted on 06/18/2002 8:26:52 PM PDT by Chunga
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Comment #25 Removed by Moderator

To: parsifal
Hmmmm? I don't think Bush wrote it - besides, people tend to write like they talk. And ... our President may only have a degree from Yale, and an MB from Harvard, but I suspect if he had turned in any MB work in such disarray of language, they would have thrown it back at him.

I'm saying this is a joke; a very poor joke!

26 posted on 06/18/2002 10:06:11 PM PDT by CyberAnt
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To: parsifal
Islamit Jeehods

Topical, kind of endearing, not bad.

As for the replies, I'm speechless (pun intended). Between the one's that can't quite figure out that it's a spoof (Oh, looky there -- perfectly good floppy lying on ground), and the one's so thin-skinned about the big guy that they can't even take an endearing joke (let alone a biting comment), this place is a whole lot less fun than it used to be.
27 posted on 06/19/2002 1:28:17 AM PDT by self_evident
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To: sierradove
What has Roy Masters been saying about Israel/Middle East? I last heard him some years ago.....

As far as CNN goes I thought Ted was no longer involved with them. I guess I was wrong. With his recent statement he has just made CNN viewership more solid in the Moooooslim nations. Meaning more revenues for that loser network since they are being whipped by Fox in the USA.

28 posted on 06/19/2002 1:56:20 AM PDT by dennisw
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To: zip
I am positive that the author, whoever he/she might be if not Bush, did not write this to put Bush down. In all honesty, if Bush gives a version of this speech Thursday nite, I will be cheering my head off! parsy.
29 posted on 06/19/2002 6:14:20 AM PDT by parsifal
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To: self_evident
I agree. If this is a spoof, I thought the author was brilliant in his combination of humor and biting satire. For me,I want to believe that Bush really wrote this, gave it to Karl, and it got lost here in Little Rock when Bush was here a few weeks ago.

I am at a complete loss as to how some freepers could consider this an anti-Bush slam. Ithink thelanguage is charming and refreshingly blunt and to the point. If Bush gave a speech like this,the whole country would be behind him.parsy.
30 posted on 06/19/2002 6:20:50 AM PDT by parsifal
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To: parsifal
I can sort of hear Will Farrell reading this. Does the "floppy disk" have the letters "S N L" on it anywhere? ;-)
31 posted on 06/19/2002 6:26:17 AM PDT by hellinahandcart
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To: willyone
Your comment is contemptible -- back it up with facts. President Bush is not the one pro-palestinian -- clinton is!
32 posted on 06/19/2002 6:44:34 AM PDT by PhiKapMom
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To: parsifal
If only it were true...
33 posted on 06/19/2002 6:49:02 AM PDT by Rightwing Conspiratr1
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To: Mo1
who uses floppy disks anymore

I'd almost forgotten about their existence it's been so long. This post is a waste of bandwidth.

34 posted on 06/19/2002 7:27:14 AM PDT by callisto
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To: callisto
This post is a waste of bandwidth

Agree

35 posted on 06/19/2002 9:06:21 AM PDT by Mo1
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To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
I guess we will find out tomorrow nite if this is for real or not. If it is some freepers will be eating crow. Waste of bandwidth, my foot. On what other website I ask you could you find this news? I report....you decide. parsy.
36 posted on 06/19/2002 4:35:42 PM PDT by parsifal
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To: self_evident
an endearing joke

endearing joke, my a$$. A show of disrespect for the office of the President of my Country is the only definition that is appropriate for that crap.

37 posted on 06/19/2002 6:11:32 PM PDT by zip
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To: steve-b
I guess we will find out tonite, isn't it. Or has the Israeli invasion and calling up of reserves obviated the need for adding B-52s to the Israeli Air Force. parsy.
38 posted on 06/20/2002 3:28:17 PM PDT by parsifal
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I am sitting here wondering if some you think that the poster actually thinks this is real?

I would suggest that before you go to bed tonight, put some coal up the back end...ya'll are so tight it will come out as diamonds in the morning.

While this wasn't laugh out loud funny, it was an attempt. Jeez, do you ever stop being so damned serious?

Oh yeah, if its about Chelsea Clinton you call get a hoot out of it. Lighten up, Francis.

39 posted on 06/20/2002 5:16:03 PM PDT by Vermont Lt
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To: parsifal
Powder..Patch..Ball FIRE!

Parsy sounds like the posting police don't appreciate your humor, I however got a good chuckle from your posting and an even bigger one at the comments... Keep it up!

40 posted on 06/21/2002 7:06:27 AM PDT by BallandPowder
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To: dennisw
Get a grip! Not CUTE, NOT FUNNY.
41 posted on 06/21/2002 10:20:50 AM PDT by wingnuts'nbolts
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To: BallandPowder
Appreciate my humor? I swear by Bill Clinton that I found this floppy laying around. I am a conduit. And BTW, I like Bush. I bet he thinks this way even if he may not have written it. parsy the only honest Arkansan.
42 posted on 06/21/2002 10:17:26 PM PDT by parsifal
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To: parsifal
Boy! Some folks around here have no sense of humor. As for me...I love it! I wish to heaven Bush would say exactly this sort of thing!
43 posted on 06/21/2002 10:30:35 PM PDT by ArcLight
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To: Vermont Lt
Thank you for your help. In line with some of the comments, I think perhaps the following lines from "True Grit" should perhaps also be re-written to avoid any disrespect to the memory of Rooster Cogburn.

Old Style: "Fill your hands, you son-of-a-b*tch!" -- John Wayne, in True Grit after Ned Pepper tells him "That's bold talk for a one-eyed fat man".

New Style: "I know that we all desire peace here in the Old West. . ." or perhaps:

"We understand that Ned Pepper's comments echo the sentiments of many people here in this pasture, and as the leader of his group, we must extend every courtesy to him as a precursor of real peace between the competing parties here." or perhaps:

"Beneath the skin, You Ned Pepper, and I, Rooster Cogburn, are both human beings and we both want to live in peace and to that end I suggest that I withdraw from this valley and give you time to control the extemist elements in your social club and perhaps peacefully turn over to me, or to some neutral party, those who might be guilty of what some of us characterize as "no-no's". . .

Dang, I could have done a whole thread on this. parsy who appreciates Bush's usual plain-spokenness.


44 posted on 06/21/2002 10:32:24 PM PDT by parsifal
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To: Vermont Lt
The name's "Psycho". Call me Francis, and I'll have to kill ya.

That movie has some memorable lines.

:)
45 posted on 06/22/2002 8:36:57 PM PDT by EODGUY
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To: All
They did the same thing when Ronald Reagan was President, by telling everyone for his eight years how dumb he was...dumb indeed. President Reagan probably will go down as one of the best ever. President Bush is NO dummy. He has beat the liberals and others at the game of oneupmanship at every turn.
46 posted on 06/23/2002 8:02:46 AM PDT by cousair
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To: parsifal
It's BS. Bush is ex-military with an MBA. There is no way that he would communicate like this. No MBA would. Sheezh!
47 posted on 06/23/2002 5:42:26 PM PDT by vannrox
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To: vannrox
You're probably right. I also noted the ersatz "joke". A real Texan would have said "All Turban. No cattle", not "No Cows." This is probably just a hoax. parsy.
48 posted on 06/23/2002 5:46:37 PM PDT by parsifal
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To: willyone
Since Bush is pro Palestinian and anti Israel this is never going to happen.

Do you never tire of parading your stupidity like a badge of honor around here?

49 posted on 06/23/2002 5:47:15 PM PDT by Texasforever
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To: gg188
Ping. From your response on the "Nuke 'Em" thread, I thought this would interest you. parsy.
50 posted on 06/23/2002 5:48:33 PM PDT by parsifal
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