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We Get Letters (Al Gore lets it rip)
Happy Fun Pundit ^ | July 3, 2002

Posted on 07/03/2002 10:38:07 PM PDT by RippleFire

We Get Letters

Dear Happy Fun Pundit,

Al here. Look, when I said, "If I had to do this all over again, I'd just let it rip," I didn't appreciate you running over to open a window. You know what I meant. I meant that I'd been, "too scripted, too conflicted and too tightly controlled." I also, apparently, had a large board inserted in my rectum.

But that's all over now. Time to get to know the real Al Gore. He's a mad man! You have no idea how crazy I can get after a double latte' at a Greenpeace rally. I'm the Gorester! In fact, I'm thinking of a few potential image changes. Since you guys are what the cats call 'hip', I thought you could give me some advice on which one to go for:

Rastafarian Al: Hey, man. What it be? I would like to appropriate the 'dutchie', man. I'm ready to take a big inhalation of that marijuana you have there. And these dreadlock hair extensions are just marvy. (Rastafarians say 'marvy', right?) That's me. Al Gore: Rastafarian President. It be a 'cool' thing, man.

Or how about this...

Hip-Hop Al: My home-boys in the cabinet are going to kick the shiz-it out of the deficit, and bring some road-credibility back to the White House, 'bro'. Check out this rap: "I'm the man in the back, ready to attack! And the girl in the corner says Gore ain't gonna bore you! And I think I'm the passionate one!"

Okay, I sort of stole that from 'Ballroom Blitz', but that's a rap song, right? Don't make me bust a hat in your ass, homey!

If you don't like that, here comes...

'Backstreet' Al: Girl, I'm going to be president. Because girl, without you, I'm nothing. Girl. You've got to love me, girl, because I can't live without you, girl. You and me, girl, we were meant to be. Vote for me, girl, and I'll be your ever-loving love slave loving you forever, girl.

See, the 'girl' is America. It's a metaphor. Or a simile. I can't ever get those straight. Anyway, you've got to see my new dance moves to really 'get' Backstreet Al. I can do that arm-crossing finger-pointing thing the kids do. I can even shake my 'groove thing', which I think is the forearm, including the wrist.

So what do you think? Pretty good, huh? If those don't work, I've got more. You guys have to help me find the 'real' me. Because frankly, if this is it, I'm screwed.


Al 'Rappin' Gore

P.S. Don't tell Tipper about the Hip-Hop thing, okay? She's like, a nut when it comes to that stuff.

TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: algore

1 posted on 07/03/2002 10:38:07 PM PDT by RippleFire
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To: RippleFire
Bet he would still want the air brush.
2 posted on 07/03/2002 10:46:26 PM PDT by FryingPan101
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To: FryingPan101
3 posted on 07/03/2002 10:48:13 PM PDT by Howlin
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