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DFU SONG: Do Ya Think I'm Sexy (poor Martha Stewart says GOP going after sex life) 8-18-02
DFU SONG PARODIES | 8-2002 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

Posted on 08/18/2002 8:29:29 PM PDT by doug from upland

MIDI - DO YA THINK I'M SEXY

I like to bake…my name's Martha Stewart
Someone's trying to drag me in the sewer
I did no wrong…I'm being persecuted
Those after me are really quite deluded

Do ya think I'm sexy…do ya like my cookies
There is more where that came from
I can certify I've got no Cooper's Droopers
Come on here and get you some

They dig for sex, Drudge is now reporting
They got my e-mails…with Flynt they'll be consorting
They know that I am hot and cannot hide their arousal
Causing grief when arguments are spousal
That GOP I am afraid will not be quitting
Into their tossed salad like Jesse I'll be spitting

Do ya think I'm sexy…do ya like my cookies
There is more where that came from
I can certify I've got no Cooper's Droopers
Come on here and get you some

I hate that right wing…they will not stop at anything
Just like Starr had done to the Sinkmaster

(musical break)

I told the truth despite that lie detector
Now over my head there hangs an awful specter
Oh, what now…my soufflé is falling
I feel like sitting on my floor and balling
No one is watching…they are all changing the channel
Bill gave me kneepads that have been lined with golden flannel

Do ya think I'm sexy…do ya like my cookies
There is more where that came from
I can certify I've got no Cooper's Droopers
Come on here and get you some


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: bigsinkmasterfan; cookies; crook; didshedobill; emails; hotstuff; liar; meangop; perjury; sexlife

1 posted on 08/18/2002 8:29:29 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: Paul Atreides; rockfish59; StarFan; whoever; buffyt; demnomo; dutchess; Looking4Truth
Ping.
2 posted on 08/18/2002 8:30:50 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
DRUDGE STORY THREAD
3 posted on 08/18/2002 8:33:04 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
Doug, you're going to rot in hell... with gingham curtains, lemon butter cookies and crisp lettuce over mango chutney, but no one I suspect will enjoy it more.

God bless you, son.

4 posted on 08/18/2002 8:33:39 PM PDT by IncPen
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To: doug from upland

5 posted on 08/18/2002 8:35:28 PM PDT by Diogenesis
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To: doug from upland
Isn't she like sixty some years old? Disgusting.
6 posted on 08/18/2002 8:36:25 PM PDT by Maedhros
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To: doug from upland
Presumably it's not the sex that's got her in trouble. Ie, she won't be indicted for having sex, or even for lying about it.
7 posted on 08/18/2002 8:37:35 PM PDT by ConsistentLibertarian
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To: Diogenesis
Is she planning to Bobbit me with that thing because of this song?
8 posted on 08/18/2002 8:42:42 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
I still likes Martha.
9 posted on 08/18/2002 8:44:33 PM PDT by Captain Shady
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To: Captain Shady
How about Charles Keating and Michael Milken?
10 posted on 08/18/2002 8:47:29 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: Captain Shady
W-H-Y ?
11 posted on 08/18/2002 8:48:37 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: IncPen
Lemon butter cookies? Yuk. Give me chocolate chip with pecan and coconut. That's what I'm talkin' about.
12 posted on 08/18/2002 8:48:39 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
No , just Martha.
13 posted on 08/18/2002 8:50:04 PM PDT by Captain Shady
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To: doug from upland
Great little ditty!

LOL
14 posted on 08/18/2002 8:50:15 PM PDT by T Lady
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To: doug from upland
Martha’s Clinton Living

CBS News not only isn’t embarrassed that one of its stars hosted a fundraiser for President Clinton, it publicized the event. Do-it-yourself maven Martha Stewart may not cover politics, but she is a regular on CBS’s This Morning. On the June 13 Saturday Morning, Mark Knoller showed a clip of Clinton at a fundraiser saying: "Let me first thank Martha Stewart for having us here." She credited the assembled Democrats: "I’m so happy that you could show your generosity of spirit and pocketbook."

Knoller set the mood: "She whipped up a festive lunch, very much in the Martha Stewart style. Take a look at the program, tastefully bordered in red and white checkerboard. Not only did it present the luncheon menu of oven-cured tomatoes, peachwood-smoked salmon, and shortcakes with strawberries, you get the recipes for each dish, as well. Seems like a reasonable bonus for $5,000 a plate."

15 posted on 08/18/2002 8:51:04 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: nopardons
W-H-Y ?

I'm just a irrational human. I rooted for JR Ewing back in the Dallas days.

16 posted on 08/18/2002 8:52:31 PM PDT by Captain Shady
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To: doug from upland
You'll eat lemon butter cookies or I'll twist your little buds off and throw you on the compost, mister!

< /martha >

: )

17 posted on 08/18/2002 8:54:57 PM PDT by IncPen
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To: doug from upland

18 posted on 08/18/2002 9:04:03 PM PDT by Paul Atreides
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To: Paul Atreides
I saw it on the other thread. Thanks for bringing it here.
19 posted on 08/18/2002 9:06:53 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: Diogenesis
Frankly that picture is one of the most scariest things I've seen in a long time.

As for the GOP asking her about this and that, another conspiracy from Maniacal Martha. More baseless claims.
20 posted on 08/18/2002 9:14:21 PM PDT by CrazedConservativeLiberalMan
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To: doug from upland
She's had sex?

There's no lower form of life than a rich liberal!

21 posted on 08/18/2002 9:38:32 PM PDT by rockfish59
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To: doug from upland
A home run, doug.

Congrats.

22 posted on 08/18/2002 9:39:01 PM PDT by whoever
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To: rockfish59
I think that it is reported that she used to have a relationship with the guy who gave her the tip.
23 posted on 08/18/2002 9:42:18 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: All
re: Jesse Jackson reference

Jesse Jackson admitted in a November, 1969 "Life" magazine interview that when he worked as a waiter in a Greenville, South Carolina hotel he spat into the soups and salads of White customers. "[Spitting into the food] gave me a psychological gratification," Jackson said.

During his early years in the civil rights movement Jackson often repeated this story to audiences. In fact the New York "Times" in a July, 1972 article, said: "Jesse would spit into their soup or salad before he brought it to the table, and watch with enjoyment as Whites ate gobs of saliva as though it were, say, oil and vinegar dressing."

24 posted on 08/18/2002 9:48:30 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: Captain Shady
Are you also enamoured of the Clintons ? Did you " root " for Slick Willie during the Impeachment trail ?

I never watched " DALLAS ", so I don't know what you're talking about. :-)

25 posted on 08/18/2002 9:52:01 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: doug from upland
Another great one - How do you do it?

BTTP

26 posted on 08/18/2002 10:02:30 PM PDT by M. Peach
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To: doug from upland
Note to Martha:

If you do the crime, you do the time.
27 posted on 08/19/2002 2:22:00 AM PDT by Las Vegas Dave
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To: nopardons
Are you also enamoured of the Clintons ? Did you " root " for Slick Willie during the Impeachment trail ? I never watched " DALLAS ", so I don't know what you're talking about. :-)

Just joking. Of course I wasn't playing the stock market,thank God. I heard so much negative stuff about Martha Stewart to turn a maggot's stomach.

28 posted on 08/19/2002 3:44:43 AM PDT by Captain Shady
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To: M. Peach
re: how to do it

1. Find a person who did something deserving mocking

2. Go through the story to find a few specifics to incorporate into the song that may have some humorous possibilities.

3. Find an appropriate MIDI. In this case, because she was talking about sex and the mean GOP investigating her like Sinkmaster, "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" came right away.

4. Start building the song line by line while playing the MIDI music over and over.

5. Attempt to put in it some double entendre that is not so blatant that JimRob will pull the song.

6. No matter who it is about, try to get in something to slap the Clintons.

29 posted on 08/19/2002 7:22:50 AM PDT by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
It was a rhetorical question - LOL - but thanks any way, maybe I'll give it a shot someday -
30 posted on 08/19/2002 7:54:13 AM PDT by M. Peach
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To: M. Peach
I know it was rhetorical. :) I just wanted to answer anyway.
31 posted on 08/19/2002 7:58:00 AM PDT by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
I feel like sitting on my floor and balling

ROFL. Perhpaps you meant "bawling"?

32 posted on 08/19/2002 7:59:45 AM PDT by Under the Radar
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To: Under the Radar
Congrats! You got it. It was a double entendre since she was claiming they were investigating her sex life.
33 posted on 08/19/2002 8:08:44 AM PDT by doug from upland
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