Skip to comments.SADDAM HUSSEIN EVICTION NOTICE
Posted on 08/30/2002 10:20:09 AM PDT by doug from upland
DATE: August 30, 2002
PROPERTY: A commercial office and seat of government described as Presidential Palace Karadat Mariam Baghdad Iraq
LESSOR: The President of the United States pursuant to the authority granted him by the Constitution of the United States as the Commander in Chief
LESSEE: Saddam Hussein and the following Governors; Al Anbar (Ramadi), Al Basrah (Basra), Al Muthanna (Samawa), Al Qadisiyah (Ad Diwaniya), An Najaf (An Najaf), Arbil (Erbil), As Sulaymaniyah (Sulaymaniya), At Ta`im (Kirkuk), Babil (Hilla), Baghdad muhafazah (Baghdad), Dahuk (Dohuk), Dhi Qar (An Nasiriya), Diyala (Ba 'quba), Karbala (Karbala), Maysan (Amara), Ninawa (Mosul), Salah ad Din (Tikrit), Wasit (Kut); and all others in possession, including but not limited to, dancing girls, whores, cooks, food tasters, pooper scoopers, and prayer rug cleaning ladies that look like Madeleine Albright.
NOTICE: You are the Lessee of that certain real property which is above referenced pursuant to military action that brought you to power. You are hereby ordered to VACATE THE PREMISES on or before September 30, 2002.
You are required to remove all of your personal possessions. Should you not remove such possessions, any which remain that have a value exceeding $300 (976,110 dinar) will be sold after proper notice at a public sale.
You are required to leave the premises clean, to completely fumigate the premises, and to repair any damage. You are required to remove all camel and goat droppings from both the exterior and interior of the premises. You will be charged for mitigation of any stench which is left behind at a rate which is to be determined by bid from three reputable fumigation professionals.
Should you not leave on or before the time which is above specified, United States war planes and United States Cruise Missiles will deliver more destruction and carnage than you can imagine. If you or any of your henchmen are still alive, U.S. Special Forces will take you into custody. You will be charged with war crimes and tried in a tribunal to be determined by the President of the United States. You will be allowed no visitors, not even that fat ugly woman in the street who was holding the bowl of food and celebrating how the United States was attacked on 9-11.
VIOLATIONS OF LEASE AGREEMENT: Sex parties, illegal drug use, drug smuggling, money laundering, lying, perversion, bribery, obstruction of justice, intimidation of witnesses, suborning perjury, theft of government property, murdering civilians, murdering relatives, having sex with goats, destruction of government and private property, gassing innocent civilians, destruction of evidence, failure to surrender documents, failure to allow weapons inspectors access to facilities developing weapons of mass destruction, training Al Qaeda members to hijack civilian airliners, providing money to terrorists, harboring terrorists, watching Barbra Streisand and Alec Baldwin movies, watching re-runs of Lou Grant, and supporting the release of Mumia Abu-Jamaal.
áÇ ÊÊÑß ááÈÇÈ Ãä íÖÑÈ ãÄÎøÑÊß ÞÏíãÉ . (Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.)
President George W. Bush, Commander in Chief, United States of America
(Document prepared by Doug from Upland)
Saddam Hussein At-Takriti
e-mail email@example.com (Iraq's Mission to the U.N.)
Without a doubt, his entire country needs to be turned into radioactive glass.