The ant and the grasshopper

Oregon Magazine ^ | September 1, 2002 | unknown

[WaterDragon]

Classic Version

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool...(snip)

Modern Version

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool..(snip)..CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast...(snip)

Click here for full article.

[prisoner6]

FWIW JIm Quinn WRRK FM radio in Pittsburgh swears he wrote this years ago. He used to do top 40 radio back in the 60's, started doing morning stuff later and for the past ten years or so has been doing morning talk on the local classic rock station. Most of the time he's way ahead of the curve on things.

Here's a link to his Warroom webpage:

Quinn in the morning warroom

[WaterDragon]

Thanks for the link.

[MeekOneGOP]

Classic bump!...

[Illbay]

At least you didn't post the whole thing. Man, this thing's been around at LEAST ten years!!!

[WaterDragon]

Yeah, but even so, not everybody's seen it!

[Eala]

Yeah, but even so, not everybody's seen it!

I hadn't. Thanks for posting it.

[WaterDragon]

You are very welcome.

[T. P. Pole]

Yup. It's been posted before. The one on the bottom is from June, 1997.

The ant and the grasshopper

The Ant and the Grasshopper: The American Updated Classic

The Ant and the Grasshopper

The Ant and the Grasshopper (or Why to Vote)

The Ant and the Grasshopper (or Why to Vote)

The Modern Ant and the Grasshopper

Ant v.s. Grasshopper

Grasshopper and Ant Parable, Clinton/Gore Style

BILL CLINTON'S "GRASSHOPPER":IT IS TIME TO PASS THE TORCH

The Ant and The Grasshopper

Prequel to the Grasshopper Ant story

The Ant and the Grasshopper - updated

Ant & Grasshopper, yet another version

The Ant and The Grasshopper: Gore/Clinton Style

The 'New' Ant and Grasshopper

The Grasshopper and the Ant

The Ant, the Grasshopper, and Civil Rights

The Ant & the Grasshopper (American Version)

The Ant And The Grasshopper

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

The Ant And The Grasshopper

You know, I'm starting to wonder if this might have the record of "most posted email."

The Ant and the Grasshopper - Year 2000 version

Aesop's Ants and the Grasshopper: Insights in Campaign 2000

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER: THE MODERN VERSION

The Ant and the Grasshopper

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER CIRCA 1999

The Ant and the Grasshopper

Off Topic -THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER in 1999

The Ant and the Grasshopper. New version

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER in 1999

THE GRASSHOPPER & THE ANT

Certainly this beats "I am a bad American."

The Ant & the Grasshopper: Aesop Updated for the Clinton Era

Clinton Administration's Grasshopper and Ant Story

The Ant and the Grasshopper

Ant & the Grasshopper

Ant and Grasshopper - Revisited

The Grasshopper And The Ant under the Clinton Administration

[WaterDragon]

LOL! I'm saving this thread, tpp....fabulous links! Thanks.

[Illbay]

Excuse me. You don't make the rules around here. We have been asked COUNTLESS times not to repost things. I really don't give a flip if no one's seen it. The contents of your brain aren't the reason this exists.

Sorry, but this just chaps my hide. If everyone acted the way you do, making up the rules, FR would soon become useless. Someone else has just posted a ton of links. You have a responsibility to do a search before you post.

So let's get off the snotty attitude that you have the right to do whatever the h*ll you want to do around here, and start following protocols shall we?

Thank you for your compliance.

[Illbay]

Excuse me. You don't make the rules around here. We have been asked COUNTLESS times not to repost things. I really don't give a flip if no one's seen it. The contents of your brain aren't the reason this site exists.

Sorry, but this just chaps my hide. If everyone acted the way you do, making up the rules, FR would soon become useless. Someone else has just posted a ton of links to this same article--and if anyone here HASN'T seen it before, you must have just begun using the Internet last month. You have a responsibility to do a search before you post.

So let's get off the snotty attitude that you have the right to do whatever the h*ll you want to do around here, and start following protocols shall we?

Thank you for your compliance.

[WaterDragon]

Refusing to take your meds again, eh?

[JCG]

Sorry, but this just chaps my hide.

 

America's Fifth Column ... watch PBS documentary JIHAD! In America
New Link: Download 8 Mb zip file here (60 minute video)

[desertcry]

The ants are racists, and greedy. The ants must share their food, and good fortune with the grasshoppers, so says the UN, hillary, and the liberal media, or the grasshoppers will plug the ants nests with dung! But hillary, and the liberals who live in the ants nest insist, that while the ant is busy sharing their food with the grasshoppers as the UN mandated, that their own stash of prime grains, and honey be not touched. While all these are going on, the UN body during their deliberations were indulging themselves to Russian Caviar, Main Lobbster, Prime Black Angus Beef, and French Wine. But the ants are still greedy, and racists.
So next Winter, the Ants must work twice as hard, they trimble with fear, when they will once again hear the words RACISTS.

[WaterDragon]

'Spose these ants could evolve some stingers? Or the ability to bite and harrass? Ants are the clever ones, after all. They are the ones who produce all those goodies the UN, Hillary, et al, feast on.

[WaterDragon]

Desitin is excellent stuff for chapped hides, JCG! How thoughtful of you! LOL

[desertcry]

The ants already have very potent defense, and offensive arsenal, but they have been subjected to decades of un-ending propaganda of how evil racism is, and how un-Christian it is not to share food with the needy by hillary, and the liberal media. The ants are extremely fearfull of the eternal fire waiting for them if they heed not, hillary's, and the media's warnings. Thus the ants with all their lethal defensive weapons are forever(perhaps not) slaves. Fortunately(maybe) for the ants, they have a new leader who is brave, and willing to battle hillary, her monkies, and the liberal media, and also is working hard to remove the grasshopper's dung plugging the ants nest. Maybe in a few years, the ants afterall, will escape eternal slavery, so I pray.

[Tony in Hawaii]

Naah, I heard Ted Nugent wrote it.

[Dubya]

Good post, thanks

[prisoner6]

Hmm...that could explain Jim's occasional trashing of Ted. The last time he was going on about how Ted made "inappropriate advances" to Rose, Jim's co-host.

prisoner6

[prisoner6]

Found this, you might be interested. Scroll all the way to the bottom for the credit.

Ant and Grasshopper credit

prisoner6

[WaterDragon]

I think we have always known that racism is evil. The trick the lefties played on us was to convince us that, even though we aren't racist, racism exists somewhere deep inside us, and THEY see it! That's the button they push to make us uncertain and feeling unworthy to use our masterful powers.

This new leader is setting such a good example for us in courage, confidence and clarity!

[WaterDragon]

Glad you enjoyed it, Dubya.

[WaterDragon]

Looks like Quinn is claiming authorship. If true, nice to provide attribution no matter how long it's been floating around the net.

[AAABEST]

So let's get off the snotty attitude that you have the right to do whatever the h*ll you want to do around here, and start following protocols shall we?

Thank you for your compliance.

Jerk

Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in cyberspace he is free to be himself...without the risk of getting a real-time punch in the mouth.

[desertcry]

Indeed, one of President GWB's leadership chracteristics
that the liberal media, and politicians hate most is his ability to focus on the issue. As soon as the liberal media, and the radical minorities raise the flag of racism, and once it is up for everybody to see, nobody can be accused, and convicted of murder(OJ Simpson), Terrorism, robbery, or any other crime anymore, because the focus is now on profiling, and racsim, not on any crime committed. The liberals are very much afraid that, if the majority of the people in this country losses the stigma, and pain of being branded a racist, that their game is over, and once again true justice will prevail.

[Centurion2000]

I wrote this a while back when the modern version was posted on sierratimes last year. Thought you might get a kick out of it. Note that it was written pre-election 2000 results and I was feeling rather pessimistic at the time :)

The SOON-TO-COME version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, PBS, CNN, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

The ant, seeing all of the news hounds camped out on the other side of the yard. (They avoid the "Killer Bees on leash in front yard" sign) walks to the edge of the property. The newshounds demand to know what the ant is planning to do about this.

He turns and simply states "The grasshopper can starve. I was ready and he was not. His problem, not mine and I DID take the time to warn him about it"

The CBS,NBC,CNN,BBC,PBS news services villify the ant as not being 'compassionate', or caring, and not 'giving back to the community'

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house after tearing down the sign and putting the bee to sleep with drugged pollen where the news stations film the group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

The ant seeing all of this and prepared, hits the remote on the CS gas boobytraps that have been placed around the house to drive off the protestors.

Jesse Jackson and friends are overcome with nausea and burning, stinging eyes and other assorted loveliness from the gas and are driven off all while vowing to get the racist, fascist ant for hurting them and 'demeaning their pride' them as well.

News services record and broadcast the ant defending his home. Editorials appear demanding that the ant surrender to police authorities for insulting and demeaning the peaceful protest with violence.

President Al Gore has the EPA issue an land-seizure demand for the ant's land for endanging bull trout in a nearby stream with 'unauthorized' chemicals.

The EPA, BATF, FBI, joint-task force on ant-terrorism launches a raid on the ant's property to capture him. Several dozen agents are injured assaulting the ant's compound (as they are now calling it) stepping on toe-popper improvised land mines. The force is driven off by well aimed semi-automatic fire decimating the agents.

The siege at the ant compound continues round the clock with news commentaries condemning the ant for resisting authority.

The ant slips away in the final assault on his house and watches 50 agents enter the home attempting to repeat the previous raid. A massive explosion fills the air and the ant detonates a charge destroying the home rather than surrendering it to the feds.

The grasshopper starves to death. The government has a couple hundred casualties. The ant goes to his cache supplies and over to his cousin's mound bringing his own food.

The ant is tried in absentia for the willful murder and terrorism of a couple hundred federal agents. Hillary! tries to be the prosecutor and is backslapped by Janet Reno who takes over the case.

Several hundred copycat versions of the ant's exploits are prepetrated by the outraged citizens of the US.

And they live happily ever after.

[WaterDragon]

There were moments during the Clinton administration that we did feel just that besieged, Centurion!

The happier outcome was the result of conservatives getting over their pout, voting, and then working to prevent the worst of Democratic party voter fraud. And the Supreme Court, for once, did its constitutional duty and prevented renegade Florida judges from disenfranchising us.

As an aside, I like ants. They are truly one of the most remarkable of God's creatures. They can be such pests because of their persistence and determination. They work together to accomplish what they set out to do, but obviously work fine alone, as well.

The entire Free Republic board is just that kind of cleverness, and sometimes that kind of peskiness. We mostly need to hang on to our determination, I think.

[T. P. Pole]

Rather pessimistic, you say...?

[Centurion2000]

Rather pessimistic, you say...?

Well, just a wee little bit ;)

[WaterDragon]

LOL!!!

[WaterDragon]

LOL...do you keep that graphic handy whenever jerks show up? It's great!

[Snuffington]

We have been asked COUNTLESS times not to repost things.

Hee hee. The irony gods punished you by double-posting this comment. The same gods ensure every post correcting grammar or spelling will contain its own grammatic or spelling error.

[WaterDragon]

Too true!

[aSkeptic]

Heres the rest of them.. its pretty cool.
http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame01.html

[WaterDragon]

It is cool! Got it bookmarked!

[Shooter 2.5]

Thanks. I had that bookmarked years ago and lost it.
It's also a reminder to myself to behave as much as possible.

[Old Professer]

Which version has the ending where the grasshopper eats the ant?

[WaterDragon]

Grasshopper, after stealing from the ant, meditates, contemplating his navel...a zen moment. The spider who has been watching the drama eats the grasshopper. The ant and his netizen friends then sting the spider to death!