Let's Ban Car Alarms

City Journal ^ | Winter, 2002 | Brian Anderson

[traditionalist]

Impose a hefty fine for any car alarm which is blaring for no damned good reason. Ticket the car just the same as if it were illegally parked. People would adjust their alarms' sensitivities in a big damned hurry.

Sorry, it's been tried, it doesn't work. False alarms usually only last a minute or two. By the time the cops get there, the alarm's shut off and no one know which car it was that set it off.

[weikel]

Like I said in New York ban the cheap ones.

[boris]

"$14.95? Brake fluid works the same way and costs $1.99 for 5 times the amount."

Not sure what product you're responding to. What does brake fluid do?...I presume it ruins the paint of a car if 'accidentally' spilled on it?

I don't work on my own brakes because I would die. A mechanically-incompetent engineer. So enlighten me about alternative uses of brake fluid.

--Boris

[Citizen of the Savage Nation]

Nope, it was For Your Eyes Only and it was a white Lotus. I know my Moore Bond flicks pretty well.

[boris]

"Booby-traps are against the law."

I had a car stolen once (1973 Buick Skylark, ragtop).

I was pissed (they torched the car after stripping it). I dreamed up a 'booby trap':

A computer lets you enter an access code. It gives you 3 chances. After the 3rd wrong input, all the doors lock, the windows roll up and stay up, and teargas floods the car. Optionally a high voltage (low current) is applied to a mesh in the seat. And then it calls the cops.

Don't know if it'd be legal, but it would sure be satisfying.

--Boris

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

It was the $14.00 (not $14.95, my error) Liquid Key Scratch on the website you posted a link to.

Brake fluid will eat paint if left to work overnight. I, ah, ahem...have never actually tried this mind you. Yeah that's the ticket...someone told me it does that....yeah.

But seriously, I'd try that before spending $14.00 on a 2 oz. bottle of something else.

[Marauder]

Don't know if it'd be legal, but it would sure be satisfying.

I saw a report on TV where cops plant a car that is rigged to become a virtual jail cell after it's driven about a half block or so. The cops are watching from down the street.

Doors lock, engine dies, and windows won't roll down, and the thief (or thieves) can do nothing but sit there 'til the cops pull up, open the doors, cuff 'em and take them to the precinct.

[BJungNan]

I have a much better idea than banning them. Instead of the little sequence of noises they go through, they should instead play nice sounds, like the sound of birds, running water. Like those CDs you can buy for ambient background music.

That would not bother anyone and would make the city more peaceful. Maybe they could even add a soft voice giving a public service announcement, like ones about not smoking.

ynnuf gnieb ma I sey

[ExSoldier]

I'll buy the title...but the white Lotus was the replacement for the burgundy Lotus which was blown up. The white replacement Lotus was the neat "Q" submarine.