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Archaeologist Discovers Lost Arms of Venus De Milo
Weekly World News ^ | Today | Sam Hayes

Posted on 11/13/2002 2:02:19 PM PST by Rodney King

By SAM HAYES

MELOS, Greece — The missing arms of the Venus de Milo were discovered last week in a cellar in Southern Croatia — and it turns out she’s got hideous man-hands!

“We rushed the arms to the Louvre in Paris and matched them up to the statue. They were a perfect fit,” says art historian Ovidio Bartoli.

“Then we did some carbon-dating and we confirmed that these are the real deal.”

Word of the discovery has created an uproar in the art world.

“It’s hard to believe someone so talented in anatomy would have such trouble keeping the fingers in proportion,” notes Campbell Hauser, the archaeologist who discovered the statue’s freakish limbs. “Instead of looking like the hands of a goddess, they look like those of a plumber!”

Art critics and historians are up in arms over this shocking find. Debate rages over whether or not the missing limbs should be restored. Leading the argument against restoration is art historian Ovidio Bartoli of the Ludvian Museum of National Art.

“The misshapen appendages are an abomination,” declares Bartoli. “I’m certain the artist removed the arms himself after he saw how they came out. He knew he would have a beautiful sculpture, if not for those awful ham- hands.”

On the other side of the debate is art critic Guisseppi Vesper, who says, “These arms are a historical find, one that should be fully restored.”

Bartoli disagrees. “Restoring this work of art to its original form would be a travesty. It would be like filling in the crack in the Liberty Bell.”

No one knows who sculpted the Venus de Milo, or exactly when it was carved. It was found by a peasant on an Aegean island in a basement.

Over the years, art advisors have proposed adding arms holding apples, lamps and clothes and even arms that pointed in different directions.

But France’s King Louis VIII decided that the Venus de Milo was perfect just the way she was.

An executive board at the Louvre will decide their fate next week.

Vesper calls it an insult to the memory of the artist to not reattach the arms to the statue. “I am confident this is what he would’ve wanted,” the art critic says.

He adds, “When it comes time to fight this battle in court, I will have a team of lawyers by my side. I will not face this challenge un-armed . . . and neither should the Venus de Milo.”


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: archaeology; art; ggg; godsgravesglyphs; greece; history; missing; statue; statues; venusdemilo
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FYI
1 posted on 11/13/2002 2:02:20 PM PST by Rodney King
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To: Rodney King
Onion?
2 posted on 11/13/2002 2:05:10 PM PST by Thebaddog
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To: Rodney King

INCOMING!!!

3 posted on 11/13/2002 2:07:18 PM PST by Paul Atreides
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To: Rodney King
The Weekly World News

One of my very favorite publications.

4 posted on 11/13/2002 2:07:58 PM PST by Doodle
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To: Paul Atreides
huh? This isn't a vanity!
5 posted on 11/13/2002 2:08:00 PM PST by Rodney King
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To: Thebaddog
Great minds think alike....
6 posted on 11/13/2002 2:08:29 PM PST by whenigettime
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To: Rodney King
Update: Upon reattaching the arms, art historians were shocked to find that the famed Venus de Milo was picking her nose.
7 posted on 11/13/2002 2:09:23 PM PST by SMASH IMPERIALIST LIBERALISM!!
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To: Rodney King
Just damn.
8 posted on 11/13/2002 2:10:16 PM PST by mhking
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To: Rodney King
I think the news source for this is the internet equivalent to the Enquirer....did you see the baby alien on the first page?
9 posted on 11/13/2002 2:11:37 PM PST by whenigettime
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To: Rodney King
Sounds like the archiologist who discovered the "James' Ossuary" is at it again.
10 posted on 11/13/2002 2:13:54 PM PST by el_chupacabra
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To: Rodney King; longshadow; PatrickHenry; Junior; balrog666
“Then we did some carbon-dating and we confirmed that these are the real deal.”

Very cool. Carbon dating a marble statue. This is the kind of real science we should be pissing away money for...

11 posted on 11/13/2002 2:14:27 PM PST by general_re
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To: Rodney King
Forearm model for Venus de Milo.


12 posted on 11/13/2002 2:15:45 PM PST by Blood of Tyrants
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To: Rodney King
“Instead of looking like the hands of a goddess, they look like those of a plumber!”

Josephine?

13 posted on 11/13/2002 2:16:36 PM PST by Jagdgewehr
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To: general_re
LOL
14 posted on 11/13/2002 2:17:38 PM PST by Jagdgewehr
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To: Jagdgewehr
Newsflash: The Louvre hasn't decided whether colorized classic B&W films constitute art. Film at 11.
15 posted on 11/13/2002 2:19:34 PM PST by goldstategop
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To: Rodney King
I like the Weekly World News.....where else can you read stories and see pictures of The Bat Boy, The Worlds Other Fattest Man and Jesus while waiting to pay for your groceries?
16 posted on 11/13/2002 2:20:17 PM PST by Delbert
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To: Rodney King
The giveaway is the mention of King Louis VIII. He reigned from 1223 to 1226, long before the statue was rediscovered.

I believe a geologist might be able to determine if one piece of marble matched another piece, but I doubt carbon dating would help.

If they were able to prove that one of the hands originally held a lamp, they'd have to rename it the Hillary de Milo, of course.

17 posted on 11/13/2002 2:21:53 PM PST by Verginius Rufus
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To: general_re
Carbon dating a marble statue.

You beat me to it.

18 posted on 11/13/2002 2:22:00 PM PST by PatrickHenry
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To: general_re
But you can carbon-date a marble statue. It's calcium carbonate. Only problem is that it wouldn't tell you when the statue was carved, it would tell you when the marble was formed ... if it worked back that far, which it doesn't.
19 posted on 11/13/2002 2:22:10 PM PST by Campion
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To: Rodney King
Wasn't the Venus de Milo found on Melos in the Aegean? How would the arms end up in Croatia?
20 posted on 11/13/2002 2:24:20 PM PST by aristeides
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To: Paul Atreides
lol
21 posted on 11/13/2002 2:25:14 PM PST by DoughtyOne
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To: Rodney King
Well, assuming they could carbon date marble, it's not unheard of for statues to be out of proportion. One of the most famous examples of this is da Vinci's David. He has a huge hands, out of proportion to the rest of his (ahem) body. Anyway, from what I recall, da Vinci did that to help keep David balanced and not tip over.
22 posted on 11/13/2002 2:26:40 PM PST by Aggie Mama
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To: Rodney King
“It’s hard to believe someone so talented in anatomy would have such trouble keeping the fingers in proportion,” notes Campbell Hauser, the archaeologist who discovered the statue’s freakish limbs. “Instead of looking like the hands of a goddess, they look like those of a plumber!”

Which might explain why the arms were cut off in the first place.
23 posted on 11/13/2002 2:26:42 PM PST by Bush2000
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To: aristeides
Three words: Weekly World News.
24 posted on 11/13/2002 2:29:10 PM PST by Paul Atreides
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To: Aggie Mama
WHOOPS! I meant Michelangelo!
25 posted on 11/13/2002 2:29:12 PM PST by Aggie Mama
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To: aristeides
How would the arms end up in Croatia?

Arms smugglers.

26 posted on 11/13/2002 2:30:58 PM PST by Jagdgewehr
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To: Aggie Mama
WHOOPS! I meant Michelangelo!

Yet again further evidence if our efforts to keep our school well stocked with brilliance, (assuming it's passed down)..

Pookie & ME ('86)

27 posted on 11/13/2002 2:37:17 PM PST by Pookie Me
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To: Jagdgewehr
At first I was concerned that the UN would step in....
but it seems they are only interested in stopping the
flow of "small arms".

Hehe, at least they didn't say she had "short arm"s.

The upcoming court case will be a real fight, let us pray
for those lawyers who go in arms way.
28 posted on 11/13/2002 2:37:51 PM PST by tet68
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To: Pookie Me
WHOOPS! I meant of, not if!
29 posted on 11/13/2002 2:38:22 PM PST by Pookie Me
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To: Rodney King
Restore the arms.

Now. Get your scuba gear over to Samothrace and find the rest of the Victory.

30 posted on 11/13/2002 2:38:25 PM PST by Savage Beast
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To: Jagdgewehr
"Arms Smugglers"LOL! Too much!

When I saw the line about "HAM HANDS" I wondered if Janet "The Wookie" Reno was the model, but I'm not sure she's that old. Close, maybe.

31 posted on 11/13/2002 2:43:15 PM PST by GaltMeister
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To: Delbert
I like the Weekly World News.....

Me too! One of my favorite stories was about the two headed man. One head got married and then discovered that his brother, the other head, was having an affair with his wife.

32 posted on 11/13/2002 2:43:54 PM PST by PaulJ
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To: Rodney King
This isn't a vanity!

This story should be in Breaking Broken News!

33 posted on 11/13/2002 2:47:40 PM PST by NautiNurse
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To: Rodney King
The artist could have been haptic. Lowenfeld identified two artistic styles, visual and haptic.

Lowenfeld (1957) argues that recognition and encouragement of stylistic diversity can sustain a continuum of art activity. His theory was that by about age 12 the art expression of children falls into two categories - the haptic and the visual. The 'visual' student is an observer for whom careful and ordered representation of the details of what is observed is the criterion of artistic performance. For the 'haptic' student the world is experienced in muscular, sensory and kinaesthetic terms. Art is concerned with feeling and sensation rather than outward appearance.

Since the teaching of art is usually in visual terms with accurate observation of form a prime criterion of success, Lowenfeld claimed that the haptic student is penalised. He advocated the provision of a range of stimulation which might motivate all within the haptic-visual continuum and exposure of students to a range of art works, from the emotional and expressionist (the haptic mode) to the more customary representational and realistic. Thus, Lowenfeld and his followers maintain that if inherent stylistic tendencies in students are acknowledged and attended to, art education can continue uninterrupted.

Lowenfeld's blind haptic sculptors nearly always made the hands over-sized.

34 posted on 11/13/2002 2:52:35 PM PST by Lady Jag
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To: general_re
This was my favorite line in the story:

Art critics and historians are up in arms over this shocking find.

Very clever!

35 posted on 11/13/2002 2:54:07 PM PST by NautiNurse
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To: Rodney King
"The work was sponsored by amateur archeologist and movie star Eddie Murphy. He stated that he was enthused by the find, but that the hands looked normal to him."
36 posted on 11/13/2002 2:56:23 PM PST by BiffSchneider
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To: Rodney King
An excerpt from Seinfeld, October 1996:

Jerry: She had man hands.
Elaine: Man hands?
Jerry: The hands of a man. It's like a creature out of Greek Mythology. I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast.
Elaine: Would you prefer it if she had no hands at all?
Jerry: Would she have hooks?
37 posted on 11/13/2002 3:05:56 PM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Larry Lucido
lol... Seinfeld. You beat me to it.

My family and I were in a Home Depot recently. When the woman working in the electrical department handed me some wire, I looked down and almost choked.

Then my 11 year old son says, "Dad? Dad? [wisper] Did you see? She has man hands!"
38 posted on 11/13/2002 3:32:27 PM PST by 11th Earl of Mar
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To: Rodney King
“Instead of looking like the hands of a goddess, they look like those of a plumber!”

Nah, just turns out she looked married.

39 posted on 11/13/2002 3:35:57 PM PST by T. Jefferson
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To: Rodney King
Claire Blume is said to have modelled for replacement arms for this statue, but that project was left up in the air when they banned the atmospheric testing of new Claire arms.
40 posted on 11/13/2002 3:38:23 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: NautiNurse
"This isn't really a major discovery," said the archaeologist, offhandedly.
41 posted on 11/13/2002 3:41:43 PM PST by mallardx
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To: Billthedrill
they banned the atmospheric testing of new Claire arms.

*Groan*

a.cricket

42 posted on 11/13/2002 3:45:47 PM PST by another cricket
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To: Campion
But you can carbon-date a marble statue

Let's notify Bill Clinton. He'll try to date anything....

43 posted on 11/13/2002 3:53:37 PM PST by freebilly
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To: Rodney King
Not only does she have Man Hands, but she's a Low Talker!
44 posted on 11/13/2002 9:21:09 PM PST by Arthur McGowan
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To: Rodney King
How do you do "carbon dating" on STONE?
45 posted on 11/13/2002 9:21:36 PM PST by Arthur McGowan
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To: Jagdgewehr
Good one!
46 posted on 11/13/2002 9:25:12 PM PST by null and void
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To: blam; FairOpinion; StayAt HomeMother; Ernest_at_the_Beach
A Blast from the Past. Never got a ping for some reason. ;')

To all -- please ping me to other topics which are appropriate for the GGG list. Thanks.
Please FREEPMAIL me if you want on or off the
"Gods, Graves, Glyphs" PING list or GGG weekly digest
-- Archaeology/Anthropology/Ancient Cultures/Artifacts/Antiquities, etc.
Gods, Graves, Glyphs (alpha order)

47 posted on 02/09/2006 10:17:50 AM PST by SunkenCiv ([singing] Kaboom, kaboom, ya da da da da da, ya da da da da da...)
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To: Republicanprofessor

Art Ping


48 posted on 02/09/2006 4:52:31 PM PST by FairOpinion
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To: Sam Cree; Liz; Joe 6-pack; woofie; vannrox; giotto; iceskater; Conspiracy Guy; Dolphy; ...

Art ping.

Let Sam Cree, Woofie or me know if you want on or off this Art Ping list.

Wish I could find a picture of the arms and hands. How were they posed, anyone know?


49 posted on 02/10/2006 3:13:44 AM PST by Republicanprofessor
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To: Republicanprofessor

This is so much funnier because I got pinged to it from the "Art ping".


50 posted on 02/10/2006 3:23:01 AM PST by Straight Vermonter (John 6: 31-69)
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