EUROPE AGONIZES OVER NOVEMBER 5TH ELECTION RESULTS

The Iconoclast ^ | Unknown | William E. Grim

[clintonbaiter]

EUROPE AND THE NOVEMBER 5TH ELECTIONS

by William Grim
Iconoclast Contributing Editor (www.iconoclast.ca)

If you think Tom Daschle and Dick Gephardt were ashen-faced and depressed on the evening of November 5th, you should have seen the faces of your typical Europeans. There haven't been this many depressed Germans since SS guards passed out cyanide tablets at the last performance of the Berlin Philharmonic in April of 1945. In France, I'm told, some intellectuals were so shocked by the results of the American election that they were accidentally polite the next day.

For you see, in the eyes of Europeans, all Americans are ignorant, gun-toting, violence-obsessed Christian fundamentalists who are hell-bent on world conquest. To the limited brains of our European "cousins," George W. Bush is far worse than Hitler, Mao or Stalin. After all, Adolf, Uncle Joe and the Chairman were only mass murderers on a global scale. G Dubya represents to Europeans something far worse: Pax Americana fueled by Big Macs, gallons of Starbucks French roast coffee, and daily discounts at the local Wal-Mart. And all done without mandatory recycling. Can it get any worse?!

It came as quite a shock to the Europeans that Americans support the President and voted so many of the "wascally" Democrats out of office. "Don't you realize this means war with Iraq?" went the keening of the wimpy Europeans. "You betcha!" was my response. "And the sooner the better. How do I spell relief? R-e-g-i-m-e C-h-a-n-g-e."

You'd think the Europeans would love G Dubya. He's got all the right credentials: scion of as close to a landed aristocratic family as you'll get in the USA; earned degrees from both Yale and Harvard; the guy's even fluent in a foreign language. But no, the Europeans hate President Bush like they hate America. Why is this? Because deep in their heart of hearts, the Europeans know that President Bush and the United States are right and Europe is wrong.

FDR was right about the evils of Nazism; Ronald Reagan was right about the evils of communism; and George W. Bush is right about the evils of Muslim terrorism. Let's see, that's a batting average of 1000. Not bad.

So whom do the Europeans admire? Jimmy "Misery Index" Carter, Bill "It all depends on what the meaning of is, is" Clinton, and Lady Macbeth---I mean, Hillary Clinton.

So the Europeans are jealous of America's military, economic, cultural and moral superiority. So the Europeans don't like us. Big deal. Screw Europe. It is time for Americans to quit worrying about whether or not the devolved inhabitants of formerly important nations like us. A strong, confident, morally-assured America is a constant reminder to the Europeans of their centuries of failure. Nothing we do is ever going to make Europe like America. I would much prefer to have the Europeans fear America rather than love us. Europeans, Asians, Africans and South Americans will be less inclined to mischief making if they tremble before the might of the United States. And America will a far safer place if the rest of the world realizes that any misstep will be met with the full fury of the American military.

My advice to the Europeans? It's simple. Relax. If you behave yourselves you will have nothing to fear from America........................

[clintonbaiter]

Interesting perspective from the continent from loyal and patriotic American William Grim.

[WOSG]

FDR was right about the evils of Nazism; Ronald Reagan was right about the evils of communism; and George W. Bush is right about the evils of Muslim terrorism. Let's see, that's a batting average of 1000. Not bad.

Good line...

[Nick Danger]

Pax Americana fueled by Big Macs, gallons of Starbucks French roast coffee

Just call me 'Pax.'

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

Don't forget whoever said that, "France is a shitty little country." That makes us 4 for 4!

[republicman]

I wouldn't expect them to undertsnad. The EU sadly is slowly turning into the next soviet union. Thankfully we aren't.

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

I like the final line:

Besides, we Americans are really nice people. So, Europeans, here's the deal. You continue to tremble and we'll continue to vote Republican.

[SpinyNorman]

Don't forget whoever said that, "France is a shitty little country." That makes us 4 for 4!

I thought it was a French diplomat that said that about Isreal? I like your quote better. France is a shitty little country, full of chain smoking socialists who think that striking is their job (given the amount of time they strike vs. work, that is probably true!).

[UbIwerks]

I thought it was a French diplomat that said that about Isreal? I like your quote better. France is a shitty little country, full of chain smoking socialists who think that striking is their job (given the amount of time they strike vs. work, that is probably true!).

Europe doesn't need to feel much mental anguish. If they get too pissed at America they can blame it on the Jews like they do everything else.

[wunderkind54]

Batting .1000 is indeed a wonderful statistic for the U.S..It is with this moral statistic that I enjoy a bit of " schadenfreude " concerning the Euro-elites agony.

[denydenydeny]

If you behave yourselves you will have nothing to fear from America.

[Scotsman will be Free]

France has done nothing noteworthy since their fleet showed up at Yorktown. It is a loser country full of whiny losers.

[The Great RJ]

But let the terrorist strike European targets and who will they expect to come to the rescue. Too bad that it might take an airliner full of innocent civilians crashing into Big Ben, the Eifel Tower or the Brandenburg Gate to change European minds about who the SOB's in the world really are.

[Ukiapah Heep]

Bwhahahahaha! Screw Europe. The best of Europe left for the USA years ago (and continue to do so). I'm glad that W has broken their heart. My own dad left after fighting their boy Hitler, as a member of the Polish Army. He could watch those Nazis being marched off to captivity for hours! I'll bet that breaks their hearts too!.

Good post, Regnad, you old Firehead!

[hardhead]

I personally prefer California wine and Wisconsin cheese. As far as their nudist camps, there's lots of 'em in the US.

[NeonKnight]

p

[stylin_geek]

When I first saw the article, I thought "Who cares what the Euro-Trash thinks of our elections?" Then I read the article, and found out it to be a very witty take on the Euro-Trash impression of our recent election. And, the post script, where a real American teaches a lesson to a smarmy ass idiot. As the inimitable Robert A. Heinlein said "Nothing like a lesson in manners reinforced by a fist."

[mewzilla]

LOL. And seems to me their fleet showed up late, if I remember correctly. Kind of a nice metaphor for Europe, now that I think about. Always a day late and a Euro short.

[TheLooseThread]

It is very easy to overanalyze the european's attitude toward America.

But it is really just plain old penis envy.

[copycat]

Hey, they had their chance to institute government of the people, by the people, and for the people. They missed it...

Ta-ta...

[hinckley buzzard]

Nah, they were there on time. Had the Brits bottled up in the James River, preventing escape, reinforcement, or resupply. There was a little commo glitch between Washington and Admiral DeGrasse--no problem though. I have knowledge of this, via the DAR, because the admiral was an ancestor of mine.

How far the French have fallen. All the good ones stayed here after the war!

[CyberAnt]

"evils of communism"

Hmmmm? Somehow I don't think this was properly communicated to the American people.

However, I do believe the current "Progressive Caucus" will be taking care of that problem.

[Lancey Howard]

So the Europeans don't like us. Big deal. Screw Europe. It is time for Americans to quit worrying about whether or not the devolved inhabitants of formerly important nations like us.

Terrific column up to that point.
"It is time for Americans to stop worrying about.... (whether Europe likes us or not)"?
I don't know anybody who gives a rat's behind what the socialist euro-scum think. Not a single human being. Nor have I ever gotten the impression that anybody cares what the socialist euro-scum think.

So now I'm lost. What is the author talking about?

[INSENSITIVE GUY]

I love it when"Euro-Peons"agonize!There's no telling what we are liable to do.

[BenR2]

I love it when"Euro-Peons"agonize!There's no telling what we are liable to do.

Laughing out loud.

Yes, the Euroweenies' agonizing must put a damper on their taste buds as they make their rounds on the wine-and-cheese party circuit.

[anniegetyourgun]

"...in the eyes of Europeans, all Americans are ignorant, gun-toting, violence-obsessed Christian fundamentalists who are hell-bent on world conquest."

That's okay, in the eyes of Americans, all Europeans are smelly, whinning, sex-obsessed irreligious twits who are hell-bent on appeasing evil.

[ATOMIC_PUNK]

For you see, in the eyes of Europeans, all Americans are ignorant, gun-toting, violence-obsessed Christian fundamentalists

DAMN IM GLAD IM AN AMERICAN

[Don W]

Just one quibble: Lady MacBeth actually HAD a conscience ("Out, OUT, damned spot.)

Then again, Bill would have made a pretty convincing Caligula, eh?

[Captain Shady]

Mexico ain't too great either.I hear they have no olympic team at all. Everyone who can run,jump,or swim is here in the USA.

[JasonC]

Verdun.

[mdmathis6]

you wrote:"Just call me 'Pax.'"

Yep..and serve me up some more a'dem big macs!

[mdmathis6]

I think he was refering to that incident...just that he was trying to spin it back on France!

[Cacique]

Europe will be a Muslim controled continent in 50 years. Most Europeans have a reproductive rate well bellow replacemnt levels while the muslims reproduce faster than splitting amoeba. They are commiting mass suicide and it couldn't happer to a nicer bunch. Nature's payback for the last century of missery Europe brought to the world.

[B. A. Conservative]

"And America will a far safer place if the rest of the world realizes that any misstep will be met with the full fury of the American military."

Your quote and the one above are typical comments from would be tyrannts. TERM LIMITS are essential. The world is full of fools. Those who would argue against term limits are putting their intellect on f(ool)ull display.