Zot

Betty

[general_re]

God help us all. Life as we have always known it, is over. Most of the American people don't even know it yet, because they are too brainwashed or brain-dead.

"Washing down a big handful of Quaaludes with some wood alcohol" bump....

[hellinahandcart]

LOL. No, I clearly remember reading this very post on DU, sometime late in the evening on November 5th.

Brings a tear to my eye even now...(sniff)

[BureaucratusMaximus]

Nice ZOT!

[perfect stranger]

zot 4

[Bars4Bill]

[Petronski]

This looks like a concerted effort.

[philetus]

How to shrink a head

EMPTY YOUR HEAD
The Jívaro tribe of Ecuador believe that when a person is murdered, his soul attains the ability to exact terrible vengeance upon the murderer. Whoops! Fortunately, shrinking the victim’s severed head to the size of a softball supposedly traps the hosed-off spirit and limits its power of retribution—which is common sense, come to think of it. Bill Jamieson, founder of head-hunter.com and proud owner of 15 shrunken heads, says if the head isn’t severed already, do so just above the collarbone. Make an incision with a surgical scalpel from the back of the neck to the crown of the head. Carefully dislodge the scalp and flesh from the bone underneath and lovingly remove the skull. Hey—a new bong!

POT YOUR HEAD
Place the deskulled head in hot water, but monitor the temperature closely; if the water boils, the hair could come off. Nobody wants a little Telly Savalas head—you’d have to find a new hobo and start over. Remove the noggin after two hours of simmering and scrape out the fatty tissue inside. Sew the eyelids and lips shut to ensure the pesky avenging spirit is good and trapped, then sew the back of the head, leaving only the neck open. To dry it, fill the neck cavity with hot stones and sand. “Shake it like one of those cases used to roll dice,” suggests Robert L. Carneiro, curator of ethnology at the American Museum of Natural History in New York. Anyone up for a game of backgammon at the Carneiro house? Anyone?

SMOKE YOUR HEAD
Once it dries, remove the stones and sand; the head should retain its shape. Hang it above a smoky fire overnight to preserve it like so much delicious ostrich jerky. Finally, polish it with ash. If it resembles LaToya Jackson, the operation was a complete success! The Jívaro hang ’em around their necks as trophies, but if you’re not into foppish jewelry it’ll make a great paperweight…one that sends a strong message to your underlings at the office.

[Trickyguy]

A liberal is someone who believes it is better for a woman to be raped in an alley and strangled with her pantyhose than for her to shoot her attacker with a handgun.

[IncPen]

A liberal is someone who believes it is better for a woman to be raped in an alley and strangled with her pantyhose than for her to shoot her attacker with a handgun.

The liberal also wants her to live long enough to have the rapists' chiild aborted, and for the hospital to be sued for not saving her.