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Address To A Haggis
Robert Burns | 1786 | Robert Burns

Posted on 01/25/2003 5:17:35 AM PST by Clive

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding- race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,

Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis- fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: haggis; robertburns; thewholesheep; tripe
And a happy Burns Night to all.
1 posted on 01/25/2003 5:17:35 AM PST by Clive
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To: Clive
OK, who here has eaten haggis? Twice for me. The second time, I could even keep it down!
2 posted on 01/25/2003 5:20:19 AM PST by Gordian Blade
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To: Clive
"Oh what gift the Giftee gee us to see erselves as ethers see us"
3 posted on 01/25/2003 5:24:43 AM PST by G.Mason
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To: Gordian Blade
I'm a big fan of hogmaw. Does that win an honorable mention?
4 posted on 01/25/2003 5:39:22 AM PST by Oberon
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To: Gordian Blade
I'll confess to not only having eaten haggis, but enjoying them--UNTIL, a cook in Dornoch told me what was in them.
5 posted on 01/25/2003 5:55:52 AM PST by Founding Father
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To: Clive
My son-in-law is Scottish, and recalls the day when he inadvertantly placed his bagpipes on the back seat of his car and had left the windows down.

When he realised, he ran down to the vehicle, but it was too late. Someone had thrown a second set in there.
6 posted on 01/25/2003 6:08:58 AM PST by ijcr
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To: Gordian Blade
OK, who here has eaten haggis? Twice for me. The second time, I could even keep it down!

Twice for me as well, and I confess I rather liked it. Both times it was at an elaborate Scottish dinner, and was preceded my a rather extensive tasting of single malts, so I'm sure that made me somewhat more receptive to... well, anything. I wouldn't care to make a meal of it, but as a first course (followed by Scottish salmon, Scottish lamb, and plenty of Bordeaux), it was enjoyable.

The haggis was, of course, "piped in," that is, presented to the accompanyment of screeching bagpipes, and cut with a sabre as I recall. The presentation was more dramatic than the taste which was, truth to tell, rather bland, but pleasant. The closest approximation I can come up with is 50% paté, 30% finely ground chicken breast, and 20% oatmeal. It coulda used a squirt of Tabasco.

7 posted on 01/25/2003 6:21:25 AM PST by southernnorthcarolina (optional tag line, printed after my name)
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To: Leisler
Burns bump, Scottie Boy!

Here's one for you and your chain of Haggis Huts.

And here's one for us all:

Leeze me on drink! it gives us mair
Than either school or college;
It ken'les wit, it waukens lear,
It pangs us fou o' knowledge.

8 posted on 01/25/2003 6:23:11 AM PST by metesky
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To: Gordian Blade
Ive had good and bad. The meatier peppery kind I like, the bland oats and mysterious squishy bit kind Ill pass.
9 posted on 01/25/2003 6:25:43 AM PST by gnarledmaw
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To: Gordian Blade
OK, who here has eaten haggis?

Every October, I make a trek to my hometown of Bethlehem, PA to attend the Celtic Classic. The first thing I do is go and eat a plate of haggis. The second thing I do is go and eat another plate of haggis. I don't know how authentic it is, but it's wonderful stuff.

For Christmas, my mother gave me a knitted cap that says "haggis head" on it.

10 posted on 01/25/2003 6:28:13 AM PST by Physicist (Favorite Scottish band: The Tannahil Weavers)
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To: Gordian Blade
I just got back from a semester in Scotland.

I ate it about every other week. It was great, mostly. Some of the store bought stuff wasn't as good as resturants or butcher shops. I had to shop around to find something as good as the first pubs I had.
11 posted on 01/25/2003 6:29:28 AM PST by Mid-MI Student
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To: Gordian Blade
OK, who here has eaten haggis?

Once, in Scotland of all places.

If you want to enjoy your haggis, do not enquire into the nature of the ingredients. If you know the recipe, think of something else whilst you eat.

12 posted on 01/25/2003 6:31:11 AM PST by LibKill (ColdWarrior. I stood the watch.)
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To: southernnorthcarolina
It coulda used a squirt of Tabasco.

Make mine Danone H.P. Sauce. If I want to go hot, I might go with El Yucateco Salsa Picante de Kutbil-ik, but it's best not to overpower the flavors of the haggis.

13 posted on 01/25/2003 6:35:18 AM PST by Physicist
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To: Clive
Authentic Scottish haggis has a ground up sheep's lung in it, which is illegal in the U.S. (the imported stuff leaves out the lung).

I'm of Scottish descent, and you couldn't pay me enough.

14 posted on 01/25/2003 6:42:31 AM PST by brewcrew
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To: ijcr
"My son-in-law is Scottish, and recalls the day when he inadvertantly placed his bagpipes on the back seat of his car and had left the windows down.

When he realised, he ran down to the vehicle, but it was too late. Someone had thrown a second set in there."

LOL!!!!! I haven't the foggiest idea why, but this reminded me of my favorite line that an ex-pastor of ours used to use:

"Definition of an optimist: An accordion player with a pager."

15 posted on 01/25/2003 6:45:20 AM PST by RightOnline
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To: LibKill
If you want to enjoy your haggis, do not enquire into the nature of the ingredients. If you know the recipe, think of something else whilst you eat.

Aye, but then the same could be said of stew, chili, veg. soup, and sauage. Like that old saying goes: "He who likes sausage and the law should never watch either of them being made."

16 posted on 01/25/2003 6:53:32 AM PST by yankeedame ("Born with the gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad.")
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To: Gordian Blade
I've not only eaten haggis, I've made the wee beastie! IMHO it's just not haggis with out the lights(lungs)in it.
17 posted on 01/25/2003 7:09:41 AM PST by FreetheSouth!
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To: LibKill
If you want to enjoy your haggis, do not enquire into the nature of the ingredients.

Now where's the fun in that? Here's a recipe which seems rather authentic:

Obtain the large stomach bag of a sheep, also one of the smaller bags called the king's hood, together with the "pluck" which is the lights (lungs), the liver and the heart. The bags take a great deal of washing. They must be washed first in running cold water, then plunged into boiling water and after that, they must be scraped. Take great care of the bag which is to be filled for if it is damaged it is useless. When you are satisfied it is as clean as you can make it, let it soak in cold salted water overnight. The pluck must also be thoroughly washed; you cook it along with the little bag.

Boil the pluck and the little bag in a large pot with plenty of water, [here comes my very favorite part of the recipe...](leaving the windpipe hanging over the side of the pot as this allows impurities to pass out freely) for about an hour and a half before removing it from the pot and allowing it to cool. Reserve the cooking liquid for later use.

When cold, start preparing the filling by cutting away the windpipe and any gristle and skin. Use only a third of the liver and grate it, then mince the heart, the lights, and the little bag. It may be that you find that the heart and the king's hood are not boiled enough in the hour and a half, and if so, put them back in the pot and boil until tender.

Chop finely one-half pound of beef suet. Toast three handfuls of oatmeal (finely ground oats, or rolled oats; not the "instant" or "quick cooking" oats) on a cookie sheet in the oven.

Then mix all the ingredients - minced lights, grated liver, minced heart, minced king's hood, suet, oatmeal, salt and a good shaking of black pepper. Make this into a soft consistency with the water in which the pluck etc. was boiled.

Place into the stomach bag. Fill only a little over half full as the mixture swells. Sew up the bag with strong thread and the haggis is now ready for cooking.

Use a pot which will easily hold the haggis, and place a plate or trivet in the bottom of the pan. Place the haggis on the trivet, and add water to almost cover the haggis. Bring the water to a boil, and keep it boiling steadily for three hours, pricking occasionally to allow air to escape.

The haggis should be served on a platter without garnish or sauce.

From "Traditional Scots Recipes" by Janet Murray.

As brewcrew pointed out above, the sale of sheep lungs is illegal in the United States (there must be a logical reason for this; our Federal Government would never be arbitrary, would it?), so you'll have to depend on the kindness of any friends you have who happen to be shepherds, if you want the real thing.

18 posted on 01/25/2003 7:09:47 AM PST by southernnorthcarolina (optional tag line, printed after my name)
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To: southernnorthcarolina; WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
Wow! Talk about labor intensive.
19 posted on 01/25/2003 8:08:39 AM PST by ricpic
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To: ricpic; Cagey
Haggis is to Scotland what Scrapple is to Philadelphia........
20 posted on 01/25/2003 8:14:04 AM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
Haggis is to Scotland what Scrapple is to Philadelphia........

Mmmmm....scrapple. It tastes as good as it sounds.

21 posted on 01/25/2003 8:22:01 AM PST by AmishDude
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To: southernnorthcarolina
So what do you use to substitute for the lights???
22 posted on 01/25/2003 8:25:36 AM PST by null and void (Will Micromachine/do Nanotech for food...)
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To: AmishDude; ricpic; Cagey
I almost hate to admit this, but my Mother fried chicken livers, chicken gizzards (groan) and even calf fries (if you don't know, don't ask)...... I never tried any....... but I still don't consider that as bad as scrapple.....lol
23 posted on 01/25/2003 8:25:51 AM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (I know, I justify..........)
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To: ijcr
Absolutely perfect joke.....thank you......

I went in to tell my husband (who is of Scottish descent and loves the pipes) and as I said the last line I watched his face...... it took a brief few seconds for the punch line to hit him....... it was great watching him realize it....lol

24 posted on 01/25/2003 8:30:15 AM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: Clive
The Haggis Cam!!

Find the Haggis an' win prizes!

25 posted on 01/25/2003 8:37:28 AM PST by uglybiker
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To: Clive
Haggis hunting tip:

By perverse coincidence, the sound the haggis is most sensitive to is that of plaid rubbing on underpants. No-one knows why this should be, perhaps this almost undetectable noise mimics exactly the sound of a golden eagle plummeting towards its target. Whatever the reason, the aim of a haggis hunter who sports underwear will never be true. Hence, the tradition that “true Scots” wear nothing under their kilt.

26 posted on 01/25/2003 8:44:00 AM PST by uglybiker
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
Ever had . . . tongue?
27 posted on 01/25/2003 9:17:23 AM PST by AmishDude
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To: AmishDude
I thought tongue was a French delicacy? ;^)
28 posted on 01/25/2003 9:27:15 AM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: ricpic
Labor intensive? Talk about a great way to stay on a diet! I thought I was getting hungry..... but now I think I'll wait a bit.......thanks!
29 posted on 01/25/2003 9:30:48 AM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
So I've been told. No doubt the French surrendered it to the Germans in short order.
30 posted on 01/25/2003 10:35:47 AM PST by AmishDude
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA; AmishDude
Scrapple! I'ts not just for breakfast.

For awhile, KFC's in the south were selling fried chicken livers and gizzards. I don't know if they still are. I'm waiting for a fast food Scrapple joint.

31 posted on 01/25/2003 11:12:36 AM PST by Cagey
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To: Gordian Blade
The Yiddish word "gefilte" means "stuffed". Originally, gefilte fish was stuffed back into the skin of the fish it was taken from.

Haggis is gefilte sheep.

32 posted on 01/25/2003 11:49:04 AM PST by Salman
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To: Clive
Philadelphia needs a Burns to pen an ode to scrapple.
33 posted on 01/25/2003 11:51:48 AM PST by Salman
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To: southernnorthcarolina
It coulda used a squirt of Tabasco.

Correctin' your grammar, laddie: It cou'd hae a wee bit o' Tabasco.

34 posted on 01/25/2003 11:55:46 AM PST by Salman
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To: Cagey

35 posted on 01/25/2003 12:10:04 PM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
1- 4oz Hunk
if you're hongry.

That is hilarious. I can see a bumper sticker now.."Hunk if you're hongry".

36 posted on 01/25/2003 12:28:51 PM PST by Cagey
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To: Cagey
Not to mention the 4,000 cal a day diet!
37 posted on 01/25/2003 12:29:49 PM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: Clive
I had Haggis a bunch o' times. Always preceeded by a half-dozen fine single malts. A few more and I'd have married the hildebeast herself.

Haggis, its not just for breakfast anymore.

38 posted on 01/25/2003 1:34:15 PM PST by MrNeutron1962
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To: uglybiker
Ambrose Bierce, in The Devil's Dictionary, defined the kilt thusly:

Kilt, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

I've always suspected haggis was treated similarly -- sort of an inside joke for the benefit of the tourists. For all its bizarre ingredients and difficult preparation, the finished product (at least in my experience, and I've had only the presumably lung-less American variety) is blandly inoffensive.

As far as hunting the little critters is concerned, I assume these are the Scottish equivalents of snipes?

39 posted on 01/25/2003 3:37:03 PM PST by southernnorthcarolina (optional tag line, printed after my name)
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To: MrNeutron1962

"Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds."

40 posted on 01/25/2003 3:43:12 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: Clive
Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!
Ae fareweel, and then forever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee.
Who shall say that Fortune grieves him,
While the star of hope she leaves him?
Me, nae cheerfu' twinkle lights me,
Dark despair around benights me.

I'll ne'er blame my partial fancy:
Naething could resist my Nancy!
But to see her was to love her,
Love but her, and love for ever.
Had we never lov'd sae kindly,
Had we never lov'd sae blindly,
Never met --- or never parted ---
We had ne'er been broken-hearted.

Fare-thee-weel, thou first and fairest!
Fare-thee-weel, thou best and dearest!
Thine be ilka joy and treasure, every
Peace, Enjoyment, Love and Pleasure!
Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!
Ae farewell, alas, for ever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee.


There is no poem more beautiful than the last stanza.

Happy Burns night Clive!
41 posted on 01/25/2003 3:57:00 PM PST by katnip (mine lips shall never taste the awful stuff though)
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To: Clive
Here is one of my favorites.

Return again, fair Lesley,
Return to Caledonie!
That we may brag we hae a lass
There's nane again sae bonnie!
42 posted on 01/25/2003 3:59:42 PM PST by yarddog
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To: southernnorthcarolina
More on hunting of the haggis:

As far as masking the hunter’s smell is concerned, there is only one substance that can hide the multifarious odours of a haggiser: whisky. Preferable, the hunter should be absolutely drenched in the stuff to mask any scent. Many’s the ignorant laird who has given his gamekeeper a tongue-lashing for smelling of alcohol and then had to issue a cringeing apology after learning this bit of haggis lore.

Finally, the haggis hunter must make himself invisible to his prey. Much like the Tyrannosaurus Rex – a creature to which it is not often compared – the haggis has eyes that react most effectively to movement, but only movement in a straight line. In order to creep up on their prey, haggis hunters must disguise their approach by adopting a shambling, apparently random gait. This is known as havering.

Thus, if you encounter a Scot stinking of whisky, shuffling down the street in an ungainly fashion with their kilt flapping round their bare backside you know they are only hunting the haggis. To show that you are au fait with “the hunt”, approach him (or her) and say in a loud voice: “Ach, your havering”. A lively discussion should ensue.

43 posted on 01/25/2003 4:07:12 PM PST by uglybiker
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To: uglybiker
Many thanks for the information, which may come in handy in the construction of excuses in the future; one never knows.

I note with approval the correct spelling of whisky, which has no e. I'm having a wee dram of MacAllen at present; any typos, accordingly, are not my fault.

44 posted on 01/25/2003 5:51:19 PM PST by southernnorthcarolina (optional tag line, printed after my name)
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
I thought tongue was a French delicacy? ;^)

LOL!!!

;^P

45 posted on 01/25/2003 5:54:11 PM PST by null and void (Will work like a dog for peanuts...)
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Comment #46 Removed by Moderator

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