ZOT! [Prime example of sleeper accounts: AM]

February 21, 2003

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

Druids. I've heard of them. Aren't they like three feet tall? They dance to mandolin music.

[Chad Fairbanks]

No. You are thinnking about Dwarves, and nowadays they get tossed around bars for money... well, they USED to, until teh french and Germans persuaded the UN to ban Dwarf-Tossing...

I tell ya, those two countries spoil ALL our fun..

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

Oh yeah. Lost my mind for a minute. (Thought I saw them in a movie, dancing around an 18" tall model of Stonehenge.)

[Chad Fairbanks]

It was supposed to be 18', it's not MY fault Nigel is an idiot...

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

It will be a short 2 month trip to their next concert.

It'll be worth it, man. (Did you tell Chad that the "brown cow" of your family is the drummer?)

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

"Well, you're not as confused as him, are you?"

[Chad Fairbanks]

Mojo Magazine: Ian Gillan, you briefly joined Black Sabbath in 1983, tell us about the infamous Born Again tour that provided such valuable inspiration for Spinal Tap?
Ian Gillan: We were up at a company called LSD (Light and Sound Design) in Birmingham, and the lighting engineer asked if anyone had any ideas for a stage set. Geezer Butler suggested Stonehenge. "How do you envisage it, Geezer?" asked the engineer. "Life size, of course," replied Geezer.
So they built a life-size Stonehenge. We hired the Birmingham NEC to rehearse in and they couldn't get these bloody things in there. We opened in Montreal and Don Arden had hired Maple Leaf ice hockey stadium for a week, so they shipped the set over there and could still only get a few of those damn stones up, one each side of the stage, one behind the drums and two cross-pieces.
The album was called Born Again and had the most vile cover I've ever seen, a new-born baby painted red with yellow finger nails and two little yellow horns sticking out of his head.
Now, I've not been able to remember a single word of any of the Sabbath songs, I don't know why but they won't go into my head. So I did myself a prompt book and wrote out the first lines of each song. I don't normally use monitors but I had two wedges put at the front of the stage just to hide my book, and I'd practices turning the pages with my foot at home in the kitchen. No problem.
On the last day of the rehearsal we're wondering what this dwarf is doing hanging around backstage. When we do the dress rehearsal the dwarf emerges in a red leotard, long yellow finger nails and little yellow horns. He's going to be the baby.
Then we hear this horrendous screaming sound — they've recorded a baby's scream and flanged it—and suddenly; we see this dwarf crawling across the top of Stonehenge, then he stands up as the baby's scream fades away and falls backwards off this 30 foot fibreglass replica of Stonehenge onto a big pile of mattresses. Then dong, dong — bells start toiling and all the roadies come across the front of the stage in monk's cowls, at which point War Pigs starts up. By now we can see the kids are either in stitches or wincing in horror.
After spending 40 grand a day to achieve all this, someone had economised by not actually trying out the dry ice in the afternoon run through. So as I stride confidently towards my prompt book, not even knowing the first word of the song, I'm suddenly shocked to see a chest-high cloud of dry ice is berating me to the front of the stage. So there I am after this big opening, kneeling down, swatting the air and trying to read me line, popping my head above this cloud every now and then. Someone shouted "It's Ronnie Dio!"

[AmishDude]

Shhh. Don't air my families soiled underthings!

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

OMG - ROTFL

[Chad Fairbanks]

As long as they ain't brightly colored, why worry?

[AmishDude]

As long as they ain't brightly colored, why worry?

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

Shhh. Don't air my families soiled underthings!

Sure, you say that now, but you'll be laughing all the way to the bank when they make AmishDude: The Movie!

[AmishDude]

AmishDude: The Movie is coming soon in theaters. But don't see it or you will surely burn in hell.

[Chad Fairbanks]

ROTFL

[Chad Fairbanks]

It’s part of nature to be loud, isn’t it? In the jungle what does a lion do? He roars. What does an elephant do? Well, I don’t know what you call it, but he makes noise. What does a fat man do after he’s eaten Mexican food? It’s like a Darwinian, evolutionary thing.

[AmishDude]

It’s like a Darwinian, evolutionary thing.

Don't even go there, English.

[Chad Fairbanks]

We were fish, and then the fish crawled out on the beach, and he became a monkey. Then the monkey, he went back into the water, because it was too hot. Then he started developing gills-like a fish-and started swimming in the ocean. Then he came back out again, and was then just a monkey, and then a man, and then a monkey again, I think, and then a man. So it's based on that.

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

"People say Mozart didn’t play loud. That’s a lot of bullwhack. He played as loud as he could. He didn’t know he could turn it up."

[Chad Fairbanks]

Ok, you asked for it...

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

ROTFL