Nigerian Scam Artist Wants To Buy Brooklyn Bridge From Me!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

E-Mail | February 24, 2002 | PJ-Comix

[dennisw]

That's a very sad story. How much do you think he blew? 5 million or so?

I haven't been to that flea mkt. for two years. What's the best day to go there?  I remember a Cambodian family that was selling all kinds of tropical fruit, papaya etc. they grew in their backyard. The smoked fish/ deli across the street is fantastic. Lox Haven-- the smoked fish capital of the world.

[PJ-Comix]

What's the best day to go there?

Tuesdays and Saturdays. But you have to go there early or wait in line to park. There is a great oriental vegetable section there where you can buy all sorts of exotic vegetables much cheaper than in the stores. If you want some great Bermuda shorts check out my friend, Big Steve, and you can get them for only $5. Brand new. NOT seconds. I'll check out Lox Haven across the street next time I'm there.

BTW, one of Larry's food specialties is STALE jalapeno bagel with melted American cheese in it. When he served me that as a snack while I was giving him eBay instructions, I tossed that against the wall as well. The Bagel hit the wall on the melted American cheese side and slowly oozed its way down. So I gave Larry a sort of kinetic piece of art on his wall. Of course, he did NOT appreciate my contribution to his decor.

[Focault's Pendulum]

BTW, one of Larry's food specialties is STALE jalapeno bagel with melted American cheese in it

Where is this Flea Market? It sounds like it might be worth a road trip.

[Atlas Sneezed]

Nigerian Slain Over E-Mail Scam
http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,57760,00.html
By Michelle Delio

08:27 AM Feb. 21, 2003 PT

A notorious e-mail scam has resulted in the murder of a Nigerian diplomat in the Czech Republic.

Fifty-year-old Michael Lekara Wayid, Nigeria's consul in the Czech Republic, was shot dead by an unidentified 72-year-old Czech at the Nigerian Embassy in Prague on Wednesday.

According to police reports, the suspect was a victim of the 419 scam, a thriving industry that employs thousands of people around the world. The scammers successfully manage to extort money from thousands of victims by promising them compensation for assistance in moving funds from foreign countries to banks in the United States.

The criminals typically make their money by extracting ever-escalating sums of money for bribes, bank fees and the like from their "business partners," that is, the folks they scam. But according to early reports in Nigerian and Czech newspapers, the gunman's bank account was drained after he gave the account number and other personal details to someone posing as a senior Nigerian official.

It is not known whether the suspect was contacted by e-mail or other means. The 419 scams were carried out by postal mail until the advent of e-mail, but, according to FBI reports, most 419 scams are now conducted, at least in the early stages, by e-mail.

According Nigerian newspaper reports, the suspect arrived at the embassy and said he needed to discuss a business matter. He was referred to Wayid. Soon afterward, an embassy receptionist heard raised voices followed by shots and went to investigate.

The receptionist was then reportedly shot in the hand, but managed to flee and call embassy security, who detained the suspect until police arrived.

The suspect was arrested and is now hospitalized at Prague's Central Military Hospital after collapsing at the scene. The receptionist is also being treated at the same hospital. Both are expected to recover.

Nigerian newspaper This Day reports that the shooter had visited the embassy "regularly over the past year" in an attempt to recover the money he had lost.

"This is the first time such a thing has happened to Nigeria in any of our embassies abroad.... The Czech ambassador to Nigeria has been summoned," said Dubem Onyia, Nigeria’s minister of state for foreign affairs, in a statement.

Onyia said that in light of the incident, security at Nigeria’s foreign offices would be reviewed.

[PJ-Comix]

Onyia said that in light of the incident, security at Nigeria’s foreign offices would be reviewed.

Uhhh....Maybe they might want to consider cracking down on e-mail scam artists from their country.

[PJ-Comix]

Where is this Flea Market? It sounds like it might be worth a road trip.

State Road 7 in Broward County. About 4 blocks north of Atlantic. BTW, you really don't want to be checking out Larry's stale jalapeno bagel with melted American cheese in it.

[Master of Orion]

Maybe John Stossel would be interested.

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/2020/ABCNEWSspecials/JohnStossel.html

[RMDupree]

Hey! I could even have him work for a while as a courier for the Ruthenian Liberation Front and meet with the Ruthenian ambassador to this country (Ruthenia doesn't even exist).

Hey! I resemble that remark! *wink*

PJ, you absolutely slay me!

Oh yeah, and I do remember the Larry and Barry (?) stories. You barely escaped with your life! LOL!!

[Focault's Pendulum]

BTW, you really don't want to be checking out Larry's stale jalapeno bagel with melted American cheese in it.

I take it you wouldn't recommend him for a fast food franchise. Here in Jersey he would probably go over pretty well.
And as to throwing food at walls and such...you would also be a welcome addition as a restaurant patron.

Come to think of it....forget Jersey....both of you should get your butts up to Soho. I can get you booked as a performance art duo.

You can borrow my moustache if yu want to go incognito. It's waxed pretty heavily and doubles as a toothpick.

[PJ-Comix]

Oh yeah, and I do remember the Larry and Barry (?) stories. You barely escaped with your life! LOL!!

Actually it was Larry and Harry. Harry is Larry's son. Envision "Father Knows Best" and then take the exact opposite and you have the home of Larry and Harry. Basically the whole time I was doing my eBay instructions over at Larry's house, Larry was cursing and screaming at Harry, telling him what an idiot he was. Then later, when I couldn't take it anymore, I decided to leave. But Larry wasn't through with me. He wanted me to post even more of his auctions on eBay so he tackled me outside on the two foot high grass lawn. Then Harry started screaming at Larry and jumped on his legs in turn. Then we had a large human train on the lawn---The Harry, Larry, Me Train with me as the engine desperately clawing my way on the lawn trying to get to my car to escape that nightmare. Unfortunately, I also had to drag along Larry and Harry since Larry was holding onto my legs and Harry was holding onto Larry's legs so we all resembled a very slow moving train.

That wasn't the end of the nightmare but perhaps one day I'll write a full story about it. BTW, I actually did see Larry at Margate last Tuesday and he offered to make me a stale jalapeno bagel with melted American cheese in it. I politely declined. Then Larry gave me a bunch of KFC coupons to give to Ken. He is still grateful to Ken for not running over his head with his car as he originally wanted.

[RMDupree]

*laughing hysterically and tears running down my cheeks*

PJ, that story cracks me up every stinkin' time!

[PJ-Comix]

PJ, that story cracks me up every stinkin' time!

I really need to write up that whole experience as a short story. BTW, it would be even funnier if you were to see and hear Larry. He actually does look like an upended tortoise with an adenoidal voice. As to his son Harry, he was a very large guy who was constantly screaming "DAD! DAD!" in response to Larry yelling about what an idiot he was. For a long time Larry was calling my answering machine leaving at least a dozen messages per day demanding that I list more eBay auctions for him. Fortunately he lost my phone number so no more calls.

[PJ-Comix]

HEY! My experience with Larry's "cuisine" has given me an idea. If I could ever get that Nigerian Scam Artist to come to the States (and get a TV station to foot the bills in return for secretly videotaping him) I would hold a huge banquet on my palatial estate (provide by the show). Yes, there would be uniformed servants serving our dinner. However, the dinner would consist of the raunchiest foods and the cheapest wines. Imagine a waiter serving up from an iced bucket a bottle of Wild Irish Rose Wine. The main course would consist of Spam with cheese melted over it. Also Chuck Steak, Oscar Meyer Weiners, chicken balogna and mayonaisse white bread sandwiches. The Nigerian might not like the menu but he would have to pretend to enjoy it because he wants to butter me up for his scam.

As a fringe benefit I might even invite Harry and Larry to the dinner. I won't tell them the REAL reason for it. In fact, I'll just tell them I inherited a large stash of money and am holding a celebration party. Harry and Larry are so clueless that they might actually ENJOY the meal. Since they are sure to have their typical familial meltdown, they would provide comedic entertainment as they begin cursing and screaming at each other. Oh, and in honor of Larry, I would also serve up stale jalapeno bagels with melted American cheese inside which I would INSIST that the Nigerian Scam Artist try.

[dcwusmc]

Bravo!!! Please add me to your ping list...

[Cachelot]

Maybe I should send Mr. Uche airline tickets to come to the USA. Actually it wouldn't be me sending him the tickets, it would be a TV station.

HOOTERS AIR!!!

http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/030214/atf012_1.html

[N. Theknow]

Want to see how someone else handled a Nigerian scammer?

(Friar Tuck won't get took)

[PJ-Comix]

Hey! I checked out that Hooters Air article. Here it is below. Maybe we could arrange to shuttle the Nigerian Scam Artist around the country on Hooters Air? He would definitely think I was a Hooters big shot if I could arrange his air transport on Hooters Air:

ATLANTA, Feb. 14 /PRNewswire/ -- Hooters of America, Inc. today announced that its aviation partner Hooters Air will begin flight operations on March 6, 2003. Hooters Air One, painted in the orange and white colors of the famous restaurant chain with Hooters Air graphics and the Hooters owl "Hootie" on the tail, will take its inaugural flight with ticketed passengers from Atlanta to Myrtle Beach, S.C., at 3:20 p.m. Initially the airline will provide service only to these two cities. Additional flights and cities will be added soon with service from Newark, N.J., to Myrtle Beach through Atlanta to commence March 20. Hooters Air ticket prices are set at a flat rate of $129 one-way. Reservations can be made at www.hootersair.com or by calling 1-888-FLY-HOOT (1-888-359-4668).

"I am excited that something I have worked towards for many years is about to take place," said Hooters of America chairman and Hooters Air owner Robert H. Brooks. "I think when passengers experience the quality flight experience of Hooters Air at a fair price, they will want to fly again with us. We will offer a level of comfort and service unlike anything in the air today."

Hooters Air will be manned by a flight crew consisting of two pilots, three flight attendants and two Hooters Girls (wearing traditional restaurant uniforms). The flight attendants will be experienced, certified, and the position will be gender neutral. The Hooters Girls will be restaurant employees who will assist with hostess and food/beverage functions. Hooters Air will utilize a Boeing 737 outfitted with 112 midsize leather seats.

Hooters of America, Inc. is the franchiser and operator of over 330 Hooters restaurants in 43 states and 9 foreign countries. The first Hooters opened in 1983 in Clearwater, Florida. Hooters is well known for its brand of food and fun, featuring a casual beach-theme atmosphere, a menu that features seafood, sandwiches and Hooters' signature chicken wings, and service provided by the All-American cheerleaders, the Hooters Girls.

[PJ-Comix]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Those messages from Friar Tuck to Rev. Adams are absolutely HILARIOUS!!! Even the "Psalms" quotes are funny as well. Unfortunately I can't seem to link to the messages past page 9. Can you do so? I would love to read the rest of the messages.

[RMDupree]

PJ, remind me to NEVER get on your "bad side". hehehehe.

[PJ-Comix]

OMG!!! I finally got past page 9. The e-mails from Friar Tuck to Rev. Rufus Adams are absolutely the FUNNIEST things I have ever read. Ruthy, you MUST read those Nigerian Scam Messages HERE. And be sure to click the link to the kidnapping article. It looks like these e-mails are STILL continuing. And they are FUNNY beyond belief!!!