The Best of Comical Ali [Baghdad Bob Alert!]

Sky News ^ | 4-09-03 | Sky News

[rocke031]

THE BEST OF 'COMICAL ALI'

Dubbed Chemical Ali by some British newspapers, the Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf has become a cult figure for his colourful language and wild claims.

With a grinning face and wild gesticulations, he is the man charged with giving the Iraqi side of the story.

Here are a selection of some of his quotes:

"We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp" - Al-Sahhaf makes his debut as the Coalition launches its first bombing raids.

On an air attack on Najaf: "What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them."

Al-Sahhaf accuses the Allies of booby-trapping pencils: "The authority of the civil defence ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said. He added that British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals".

He continued: "I am not talking about the American people and the British people. I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."

'A despicable creature'

At one point in the campaign, Al-Sahaf said the Iraqis had "shot down a lot of those cruise missiles" and said the war's impact was "trivial."

"I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place," he added.

On US Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld: A "crook" and "the most despicable creature."

On footage from several media outlets showing American troops defeating Republican Guard units on the outskirts of Baghdad: "These images are not the suburbs of Baghdad. From what I glimpsed, these gardens with rows of palm trees on the side, which you saw in the images, are located in the south of Abu Ghreib, where we have surrounded the Americans and British."

After the Americans seized Saddam Airport and TV cameras were allowed in, al-Sahhaf continued to deny the reports: "We butchered the force present at the airport," he said.

'We are destroying them'

Al-Sahhaf perhaps saved his best performance for the moment American tanks rolled into Baghdad.

"There is no presence of American infidels in the city of Baghdad," he declared to journalists on the roof of the Palestine Hotel as gunfire echoed across the city and tanks fired from the banks of the Tigris.

As bemused journalists quizzed him on fierce firefight across the river, he continued: "There is no presence of the American columns in the city of Baghdad at all. We besieged them and we killed most of them"

"Today, the tide has turned,'' he continued confidently. "We are destroying them."

And after an American tank shell hit the hotel, killing two cameramen, he moved to reassure the world's press corps. "We are not afraid," he proclaimed, adding paternally "And don't you be afraid".

Asked on Tuesday whether Iraqi soldiers should surrender, he said: "They are going to surrender or be burned in their tanks. They will surrender, it is they who will surrender."

[Carthago delenda est]

[nutmeg]

ping!

Please FReepmail me if you want on or off my infrequent ping list.

[Atticus]

[The Hon. Galahad Threepwood]

A look into the future.

[Porath]

Do you mean this guy is for real? I thought that I was watching a Saturday Night Live skit. -Are you sure this isn't the same guy who used to play "Father Guido Sarducci"?

[aristotleman]

http://www.baghdadbob.com/

[piasa]

dubbed Chemical Ali by some British newspapers

Sky news and the UK newspapers need to recheck its facts- Chemical Ali is the nickname for an entirely different person, and a much bloodier one at that.

Ali Hassan al Majid earned the nickname "Chemical Ali" for using chemical weapons to suppress the Kurds in northern Iraq.

[nutmeg]

LOL!

[Mo1]

---

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STOP BY AND BUMP THE FUNDRAISER

[valleygal]

For the last week or so I kept thinking that Baghdad Bob looked like someone else. Then I realized who he reminded me of! He looks like Groucho without the mustache.

http://www.groucho-marx.com/

[cavtrooper21]

Bagdad Bob ping
And get your bad self on down to bagdadbob.com...
Yes, it had to happen!!!!
I want a t-shirt and a bumper sticker!

[happydogdesign]

[general_re]

"I am not talking about the American people and the British people. I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."

"Immoral mercenary" bump...

[Russian Sage]

I had been anxiously awaiting the moment when our marines would tap this fellow on the shoulder and lead him off camera.

Now I'm thinking we should just leave him alone, even give him his own cable network, and see how long he can go.

I mean, it's not like there's much else on.

[The Red Zone]

http://www.baghdadbob.com (don't forget the h)

[chapman55k]

Why are we not calling this guy Bahgdad Bill??!? That is what Rush called him because their communication styles match so closely both in style and content!!!

[dighton]

"What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them."

[dorben]

This jackass is going to promote further death and destruction . It's a damn shame some people will listen to him and make the choice they will make . So be it .

[TheLion]

"Comical Ali"...perfect...what a hoot!

[expatguy]

bump

[Nagilum]

The good Captain on on Fox gave him the name and I like it quite a bit better than Baghdad Bill.

Baghdad Bob 4 life!!!

(however long that is, hehe)

[elmer fudd]

I was thinking he could become a referee or an announcer for WWE. He'd be the perfect sidekick for the bad wrestlers.

[Ken H]

I'd be curious to find out if Lloyds of London would sell a life insurance policy on Baghdad Bob.

If so, I wonder what they'd charge for it.

[Minty]

I actually like the guy persistence. We should pardon and adopt him. I bet you aside his bundle of lies he is perfectly harmless. What the heck we have seen worse than that in power right here.... like Clinton.

[Nagilum]

Yeah, I'm almost in the same boat. I think I'd actually miss his comic relief if someone fraged him, lol.

[azjatojarhd1ea]

I can picture him on the late nite TV circuit with Leno and Dave, et.al. and then popping up as an inspirational speaker at motivational seminars and selling video cassettes on cable TV. He could become the next Christy Lane for FOX news...with his variation of the theme, "one day at a time...". What a nightmare!! Nooooooo I don't think so!

[T'wit]

I know why he speaks this way. He is after Dan Rather's job.

[bootless]

They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."

Wow! It's a good thing that my examiner didn't do the dreaded "drop the pencil" trick in the plane during my private pilot checkride! He coulda blown us out of the sky! Whew!

[tubebender]

I heard RUSH say today we should call him Baghdad Bill because he is as delusional as Bubba...

[rmlew]

STOP BY AND BUMP THE FUNDRAISER

If the fundraiser looks like the girl in the pic, I would like to change one letter.

[hellinahandcart]

"Pencils"! How did I miss the exploding pencil business?

[Pharmboy]

Time for a "Baghdad Bob Buster" from a B-1...

[hellinahandcart]

Oh, I see the problem---Baghdad Bob, like Cynthia McKinney, is merely afraid that the children will confuse the pencils with cluster bombs.

[hellinahandcart]

I would like to change one letter.

Bad boy!

[general_re]

Baghdad Bob, like Cynthia McKinney, is merely afraid that the children will confuse the pencils with cluster bombs.

Oh, yeah - hell, if I had a nickel for every time I've accidentally grabbed one of these...

...when I was looking for something to write with...

Well, I guess it's an easy mistake to make when you're as dumb as Cynthia.

[Russian Sage]

I actually like the guy persistence. We should pardon and adopt him.

Sad news today - I read that he is off the air.

But, I expect that in a few days, CNN and MSNBC will start a bidding war for him.

[catinsac]

Thank Alah that they didn't do the infamous "turkey drop" like they did on an episode of WKRP In Cincinnati!