Skip to comments.LIBERATING FRANCE. . . AGAIN
Posted on 04/12/2003 3:02:58 PM PDT by Noddegamra
Liberating France. . . again
Exclusive commentary by Val MacQueen
Apr 12, 2003
I have seen it suggested that on their way home after triumphing in Iraq, British and American troops might like to stop over in Paris for the weekend and conquer France. Some, though, cautioned that a weekend is not long enough to refresh the French gene pool. Others have expressed amazement that anyone would want to stop off in France under any circumstances. Still others would like to know what mousse the French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin uses on his hair.
These are all important considerations, but they are dwarfed next to the big question: Has any statesman, in the history of the world, committed such relentless political suicide, on such a public stage, as M Jacques Chirac? Chirac alone admittedly with the tacit approval of a lack luster French electorate has managed to marginalize the UN and the Security Council, thus doing George Bush a favor of such political magnitude it can never be repaid. At the same time, he has set the countries and aspirant countries of the European Union at each others throats mainly Frances. Germany, we note, is back-pedalling like mad. And, while accusing the leaders who are actually running the war and doing a damn fine job of it, of simplisme he has managed to inadvertently make one point plain with brutal clarity: the continent of Europe is unable to protect itself and owes its current comparative wealth to the protection offered for the last 50 years to American-financed NATO.
Thus, in one fell swoop of nuanced European diplomacy, Chirac has caused the world to see that the UN is indeed the blatant thugocracy we always supposed it to be witness his attempts to bribe Cameroon and Guinea to veto that new SC resolution. Cameroons and Guineas votes were obviously for sale, but the right price hadnt been reached before President Bush pulled the rug out from under them. We have always known the UN was a money printing machine for the senior people who work if that is not too strong a word in it, and the third world dictators and kleptomaniacs who send their ambassadors there, but weve never seen it in such transparent action before. Its supine politics, its corruption, its empty posturing are revealed in the vivid glare of Jacques Chiracs sophisticated European diplomacy otherwise known as blatant bribery to be beyond foul. Kofi Annan, enabler par excellence, should be using the spellcheck on his resumé right now instead of making delusional plans for the rebuilding of Iraq. Jacques Chirac has haughtily indicated to the US, Britain and Australia that if we will just back down and admit he was right all along, he will be prepared to allow French companies to be involved in the rebuilding job. This has caused much hollow laughter in the corridors of power of the nations that will actually be doing the rebuilding.
Chirac gave us another blinding insight when he inadvertently crashed NATO. His insistence that Europe develop its own defense pacts without reference to the United States revealed that, in fact, they didnt have the money to do so. Worse, it finally dawned on Americans that they have been funding Europes lavish social programs for the past 50 years by picking up the tab for the continents defense. Other than Britain, not one European country has the military might to defend even its own landmass. Britain spends twice the amount on defense as the whole rest of the European Union combined. Taxpayers in America are now figuring that theyd rather save the NATO money and pay for improved public services for themselves, not Europe. In a further piece of nitwittery, in a French snit, Chirac seems to have hurriedly cobbled together a defense pact between France, Germany and heres the really scary bit Belgium! (They pointedly refused to invited Britain to join, thus saving Tony Blair the embarrassment of having to snicker up his sleeve.) Anyway, the three best friends now have the encouraging news that Luxembourg is considering joining them. Sounds like a bandwagon. Now, if only they can get Andorra to hop on board How theyre going to pay for this does not seem to have been discussed, but doubtless the French haute couture industry is hard at work designing stylish new uniforms for the French army.
While we might consider his one-man demolition of the United Nations his main achievement, we shouldnt overlook another vital accomplishment of the past three months: the wrecking of the EU. For this, democratic thinking people of Europe owe him a big vote of remerciment! By firmly posturing and to the rest of the world about Americas hegemonic determination to clear out the terrorist nests in the Middle East, and allying France, with a supercilious sneer, with Germany, he caused Donald Rumsfeld to refer to axis of Europe as Old Europe. The phrase stuck. Mr Rumsfeld seems to be quite relaxed about this. And another phrase for France, Germany and Belgium (home of the EU money trough) has taken root: Axis of Weasels. By telling the aspirant former East European countries who suffered for so long under the Soviet boot that, by speaking up in support of the United States and the allies in the cause of freedom from fear, they had missed a historic opportunity to keep quiet, and, in addition, lecturing them on manners, calling them mal élevé badly brought up - he has made an effective enemy of the entire Vilnius 10.
On his final rampage through the delicate china shop that is international relations, Chirac has managed to prove to the world how insignificant are Frances opinions at the top table. Having sidelined France from international negotiations, has seriously damaged the French economy which is now subject to serious consumer boycotts and the French tourist industry with his sophisticated European nuances. In a stunning act of ledgerdemaine he has demonstrated that the opinions and participation of France are totally irrelevant to the conduct of international affairs. The world has realised, at long last, that France doesnt matter.
Thus, in three months, master politician Jacques Chirac has shone a bright light on the workings of the UN and revealed a roiling nest of malevolent, greedy vipers, has caused America and Britain to rethink NATO, has alienated 10 countries which, when they eventually join the EU will be pressing immediately for changes in its current undemocratic structure and the dismantling of the French German axis, and in another magnificent own goal, has ensured, by his disloyalty towards the coalition fighting to save the world from terrorism, and indeed his disloyalty to Western civilization, that no French company will be invited to bid for reconstruction. His disloyalty and hositility to NATO have ensured that no French high tech or aerospace companies will be invited to bid by the Allies and their supporters defense departments. From now on, theyll be confined to selling their space satellites and rocket launchers to their former colonies in banana-producing W Africa.
Youd have to have a heart of stone not to break into tears of helpless laughter.
God Bless This Man!
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