Sorry, Klingon interpreters, Oregon's not hiring

AP ^ | Tuesday, May 13, 2003

[Carpet Kitten]

Officials have said they won't be needing your services, after all.

The office that treats mental health patients in Multnomah County had included Klingon on a list of 55 languages that could be spoken by incoming patients.

But the inclusion of the Star Trek language drew a spate of tongue-in-cheek headlines.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

Klingon could only be a second language!

[Constitution Day]

ping!

[usnret99]

I believe this is a great case for why "American English" should be the National Language.

[steplock]

Ahh...sometimes embrassing the hell out of politicians helps?

It works with the republican led govt of Oregon anyway --- now if the dimocrats can EVER be embarassed ......

[AngrySpud]

Tarrr-chook! Akk! Akk char!

[Lee'sGhost]

Klingons! That's what my Aussie gets on her backside fur after I take her for a walk. . .

[John Beresford Tipton]

Question:
What is "Tarrr-chook! Akk! Akk char!"

Answer:
It is the sound of a Klingon being assimilated by the collective.

[Hawkeye's Girl]

What's the appropriate Klingon phrase for this situation?

[Brett66]

I guess they can get by on just wearing Starfleet uniforms.

[ChiefKujo]

You can even set Google's language as Klingon.

[BushCountry]

To help you through the job interview.

Do you speak Klingon? -- tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'e'

Yes. (answer to yes/no question) -- HIja' or HISlaH

No. (answer to yes/no question)-- ghobe'

Yes, OK, I'll do it. -- lu' or luq

No, don't, I won't. -- Qo'

When a warrior goes into battle, he does not abandon his friends -- may' Daa jaHDI' SuvwI' juppu' Daj lonbe

Hello. (Roughly, "What do you want?") -- nuqneH

What's happening? -- qaStaH nuq?

Huh? -- nuqjatlh?

I understand. -- jIyaj

I don't understand. -- jIyajbe'

Good! (expression of satisfaction) -- maj

Well done! -- majQa'

Where is the bathroom? -- nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'

Come in yI'el (to more than one person: -- pe'el)

Come here. -- HIghoS

Go away. -- naDevvo' yIghoS (to more than one person:
naDevvo' peghoS)

Open the door! -- lojmIt yIpoSmoH!

Don't be silly. -- yIDoghQo' (to more than one person: peDoghQo')

Your mother has a smooth forehead! -- Hab SoSlI' Quch! (Note: this is a powerful insult; don't say it to friends.)

Today is a good day to die. -- Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam

We are Klingons! -- tlhIngan maH!

Happy birthday. -- qoSlIj DatIvjaj (to more than one person: qoSraj botIvjaj)

What time is it? 'arlogh Qoylu'pu'? (Literally, "How many times has it [presumably some traditional hour alarm] been heard?")

Shut up! bIjatlh 'e' yImev (to more than one person: Sujatlh 'e' yImev)

That's great news! -- buy' ngop (Literally, "The plates are full")

Better to die on your feet than live on your knees -- QamuIs Heg qaq law' lorvIs yInqaq puS

[Tennessee_Bob]

Guess they're going to be sending back your resume.

DaHjaj jaj QaQ Daghajjaj

[Paleo Conservative]

Here's the original thread.

Wanted: Klingon interpreter

[Carpet Kitten]

When not at a Star Trek Convention, you should probably keep that knowledge to yourself.

[unno]

Sorry, but the photo posted by "AngrySpud" is of a Cardassign who has been assimiliated, not a Klingon.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Well that smells stinkowhiff

[Tennessee_Bob]

Yep, it's a spoonhead alright.

[r9etb]

"It was a mistake, and a result of an overzealous attempt to ensure that our safety net systems can respond to all customers and clients," Multnomah County chair Diane Linn said in a news release.

Parse-O-Matic ... ON!

"Somebody put 'Klingon' in the list as a joke, and nobody noticed. Now, rather than admitting the we fell for the joke, we're trying (like the crap-covered man climbing out of the outhouse) to convince people that 'we meant to do that.'"

Parse-O-Matic ... off

[husky ed]

What's the appropriate Klingon phrase for this situation?

I don't know what the phrase is, but the appropriate response would be phasors on kill.