The Times it Ain't A-Changing

LonePalm's fertile imagination | 5/16/2003 | LonePalm

[LonePalm]

The Times It Ain’t A-Changing

The Times They are A-Changing
Music and Lyrics by Bob Dylan
Satire by LonePalm

Come gather 'round Demos wherever you roam
And admit that the voters from round you have flown,
And accept it that soon you'll be standing alone,
If power to you is worth saving,
Then you'd better stop whining and start to atone,
For the Times it ain’t a-changing!

Come writers and critics you tired party hacks,
Please tell us the truth and don’t make up your facts.
The Old Grey Lady is showing some cracks,
Now it’s off to Fox that we’re switching.
The liberals now are reduced to a claque,
For the Times it ain’t a-changing!

Come Senators, Congressmen, knock off the attacks,
Don’t tax dividends, just to spend our greenbacks,
And vote on the judges you mean-mouthed macaques,
There's a protest outside and we’re FReeping.
Keep your tongue in your mouth, lay off the Bush whacks,
For the Times it ain’t a-changing!

Come mothers and fathers, escape the misrule,
You know education’s a giant cesspool.
Your sons and your daughters you need to home school,
Your options are rapidly shrinking.
Please get the lead out or they'll just sit and drool,
For the Times it ain’t a-changing!

The gauntlet is thrown, at you writers cliquish,
The choices to you must look hellish.
You best mend your ways or we’ll say your Kiddush,
Your sales are rapidly slipping.
And your paper now will be wrapping a fish,
For the Times it ain’t a-changing!

[LonePalm]

You know, sometimes you're just innocently reading the latest posts when, wham, a parody sneaks up on you.

These things just seem to write themselves.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Jamais reculez á tyrannie un pouce!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! Never give an inch to tyranny!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[NonValueAdded]

Protest song flashback bump. Excellent.

[MoralSense]

Lone Palm, I congratulate you for your understanding of scansion and your verbal facility. Most of these parodies are really bad, but this one -- well, it sings, man, it sings.

[EdReform]

Bump & Ping

[LonePalm]

Check out my latest parody.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[Grampa Dave]

Excellent!

THE NY SLIMES IS BS, AND IT AIN'T A-CHANGING!

[Grampa Dave]

BUMP!

[martin_fierro]

And your paper now will be wrapping a fish,

A PING cue if ever I heard one! <|:)~

[LonePalm]

Somehow this seems appropriate.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[Eala]

Superb!!!! Thanks! (Oughta send that one to the Capitol Steps or some such... I mean it.)

[Calpernia]

CLICK HERE!!! for the music to read LonePalm's Parody by.

Enjoy! Great Job LP!

[Argh]

NICE JOB, LP!

[LonePalm]

Kiddush should read Kaddish.

Damn eyes and fingers don't want to work together. Thanks for the correction Ziva.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[LonePalm]

Ok Eala,
I e-mailed it to Paul and Mark and Capitol Steps. We'll see if they care.

I also have a rework of the Cars "Let's Go" in the works.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[Pharmboy]

Nice job...I could hear Zimmerman singing.

[Enterprise]

Congratulations again! Winner and still far ahead of the crowd! I took the liberty of taking a shot at the old grey lady -

The Old Grey Lady is smoking some crack

[T Lady]

Great parody! The shoe certainly fits in this case!

...According to Jonah Goldberg's May 15th column, the Drudge Report may reveal several other NYT reporters under investigation for journalistic fraud.

It's rather funny, that last week all the liberal establishment were in a tizzy over William Bennett's gambling habits. Now this.

...A bad time to be a Leftie, isn't it? Sorta like the Boomerang Effect.

-Regards, T.

[mrustow]

Kiddush should read Kaddish.

Methinks perhaps you were raising the kiddush cup a wee bit by the writing! Good work!

[LonePalm]

Would that it were so. I am one of the few conservative Christians around that can actually say Kiddush in Hebrew and do it from memory. Too many Friday evenings at Hillel in college in search of voluptuous women and good food. Two laudable goals. Man decides and God provides.

I have also sat and said kaddish for a friend in college killed in an auto accident.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[Gritty]

Very nicely done!

[sauropod]

You have competition....

[GeorgiaYankee]

Did ya hear what Leno called the NYTimes?

"The New York Once Upon a Times"

[LonePalm]

You have competition....

I'll take that as a complement. A BIG complement.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[tvn]

The List keeps on growing--

All are invited to join the search for new NY Times slogan-

The top 50 Proposed so far:

1) ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT--NOT

2) LOTS OF NEWS THAT'S NOT FIT TO PRINT

3) ALL THE NEWS WE PRINT ISN'T FIT

4) All the Fits That's News to Print

5) All the News That We See Fit to Print

6) All the News As We See It

7) All the News, Fact or Better, Fiction

8) All the News, Well At Least Close

9) All the News That We Can Dream Up

10) All The News We Can Crib From Others

11) Some News, Some Fiction, You Figure It Out

12) All The News We Can Dream Up or Steal

13) All the News That's Fit to Print and Is Cleared by Our Lawyers

14) Lots of News We've Stolen From Other Papers

15) All the News Fit for a Plagiarist

16) All News Only a Plagiarist Can Love

17) All The News, Just Don't Check the Sources

18) All the News, Trust Us--Honest

19) All the News Bringing Fiction to Life

20) All News, No Credibility

21) All the lies we'll fit to print.

22) Face it, We Just Like to Print!

23) Aside from the pervasive Marxist bias, multitudinous errors and mis-information, and Anti-capitalist/anti-American posturing, we ain’t that bad!"

24) "All The News That Fits Our Views."

25) All The News That’s Fit to Print, Except For the Stuff We Make Up

26) All the News And Then the Part We Make Up

27) Some Facts, the Rest Fiction

28) Reporting Fiction Stranger than Fact

29) Reporting Facts And Stranger Fiction

30) When It's Raines, It Bores

31) All the News Cribbed to Fit

32) Just the Facts and Some Fiction Thrown In

33) Readers of the World Forgive Us

36) We Can Fool All of the People Some of the Time- That’s Enough for Us

37) The Blair Filch Project

38) Nothing But the Truth (Except for the Part We Make Up)

39) Leading Nominee for Pulitzer Prize for Fiction

40) A Lie Told Often Enough Becomes Fact in the Times

41) Truth is Truth, Except in the New York Times

42) Transforming Lies into Truth

43) Weaving A Tangled Web to Deceive

44) When the Going Gets Tough, The Times Makes It Up

45) Give Us A Dollar, And We’ll Give You The World-- As We See It

46) The New York Times- We Try Harder, Then We Make It Up.

47) The New York Times, The Ultimate Lying Machine

48) When the news absolutely, positively has to be reported, make it up.

49) We Answer to the Highest Authority- Ourselves

50) New York Times- Do They or Don’t They?