Sex in the Zeroes

toogoodreports.com ^ | 3/2003 | Bernard Chapin

[MineralMan]

""I'd take a 35-year-old over a 20-year-old any day of the week as a partner."

As a sex partner or a marriage partner? "

Either. I'm 57 years old, and have no time for daffy 20-somethings. They're decorative, but that's it.

[ninenot]

Bookmark Bump. Good stuff, BTW.

[headsonpikes]

RE : "...keeping a cow at home..."

"They also sometimes like to kick you..."

Warm your hands up first.

;^)

[fightinJAG]

bump

[arthurus]

However, their grandmothers also started having children in their early 20's

or mid teens.

Here in NW FL in the 5Os the fisherfolk would often marry off their 13-14 year old daughters to older widowers who owned their homes and boats. The wife would give him a couple of kids and become a comfortable widow in her 2Os or 3Os who might then marry a man closer to her own age.

[netmilsmom]

I think you're being at least somewhat shortsighted. Starting early can mean other aspects of life are unfulfilled. It is the mid-life reckoning that some early dreams aren't going to be realized that often leads to the crises and divorce. Your glass sounds more full than empty.

---

Maybe I did not convey what I meant by "early".
I don't mean 18 but 25 or 30 to start a family is not late. Too many of my friends are now in their early 40's and longing to have a good husband and children. A lot of living can be done in 10 years after high school. However, those who think it can all happen after 40 are deluding themselves. Most men in their 40's have dumped the 40 year old wife, have teenage kids and want a young woman as a trophy. They don't want another 40 year old AND a baby.

[KKing]

I knew a 58 year old man married to a 28 year old woman, it was uncomfortable at times on the social scene, I can understand your preference.

That being said, I still feel single women in their mid 30s naturally have a more baggage than those in their early 20s.

[Huck]

I agree. Looks ain't everything.

Maybe this is morbid, but I always told myself that I should marry a gal who I would still cherish even if she was a burn victim or became wheelchair bound or lost her limbs. The body shouldn't matter, because we can't control what happens to it. We have some control over our character. That being said, my wife is beautiful and takes care of herself and I am glad for that. No complaints. But I will love her completely even when she's old and grey. I pray we get that many years to be together.

[Valpal1]

It's all relative. But a 40 yr. never married man looking for a procreative partner will be looking at the younger babes, not the mature ones. And the mid life divorced men who have teen kids aren't looking for a 30-40 something desirous of starting a family.

When women wait too long past the crest of the wave, they have seriously compromised their chances for becoming married with children.

The feminists are lying through their teeth to girls, advising to put family off for 10-20 yrs of careering and carousing. Women aren't Men and all the feminist ranting and whining in the world won't change it.

Husbands and babies really is the best, most fulfilling life choice for the avarage and psychologically normal woman.

It isn't your boss or board of directors that will visit you in the old folks home

[netmilsmom]

You should be cloned.

[MineralMan]

"It's all relative. But a 40 yr. never married man looking for a procreative partner will be looking at the younger babes, not the mature ones. "

I don't know many 40-year-old men who have never been married. The ones I do know don't seem like they'd be too good a catch to me, especially for a 20-something. Think about it.

I think 20-somethings are cute, funny, and pretty bad choices as marriage partners. When I remarried at 46, after a divorce, I didn't even think about anyone under 30. My wife was 35 then, and is still as beautiful to me as ever at 46.

[MineralMan]

"That being said, I still feel single women in their mid 30s naturally have a more baggage than those in their early 20s.
"

Baggage? I call it life experience. I prefer that to some ditzy kid who's just as likely to decide a few years down the road that they didn't know what they were doing back when they got married in their 20's. Happens all the time.

Frankly, I prefer a woman who knows what she's about and what she wants. I've seen few 20-somethings of either sex who know that.

[Valpal1]

They are out there, in increasing numbers, the male cohorts of the careerists who wouldn't marry them when they where all younger. Now the shoe is on the other foot.

Also, many men don't marry because milk is free these days, but at 40, suddenly realize marriage and family is where is at. They don't shop in their own age range.

Women who think they can keep all their options open indefinitely are fools. But this is the mantra of feminism.

[KKing]

Preference is a wonderful thing.

There are some unbelievably terrible men in this world (and I suspect some ladies too) that have put women through so many games and situations that some women can be a total wreck by the time they are in their prime.

Yeah I made a general statement... but it was based on what I've seen and felt.

I still prefer women with less baggage is all.

[DuncanWaring]

Ben Franklin said about sex with older women - ...

Ben Franklin? I thought it was Redd Foxx.

[colorado tanker]

As to the older man marrying younger woman thing: There is a formula for second marriages for men, the so-called "trophy wife." Divide the man's age by two and add seven years. It's eerie how often the formula works.

My wife and I married young. One of the great pleasures of our marriage is growing older and more mature together. There's no substitute for the closeness that comes from sharing a life together, ups and downs.

IMHO the sexual revolution and feminism were frauds perpetrated against women. Now, many women in effect work 1 1/2 or 2 jobs, caring for a home as well as a "career," and often end up single and lonely in middle age.

[Under the Radar]

Hardly. Lots of younger men go for older women these days.

Yeah, "go for" as in "have sex with" not "go for" as in "marry and take care of." That is the difference.

[Under the Radar]

Your story is beautiful.

Please understand that no one is saying that men think to themselves: "I must find myself a fertile woman." They think, "I want to find a woman that has that illusive quality, a glow about her, that sense and attitude that says, "You're the one!" However, biologically speaking, that sense quantitates into: youth and therefore higher fertility.

By the same token, very few women think: "I want to find a man who will have the monetary resources to take care of me." They think, "I like the way he makes me feel when he buys me roses every week." However, the end results are the same.

[IvanT]

having a hard time finding a husband

Maybe they should put their compacts (or whatever the hell it is they keep their blush in) away for a few minutes, stop gazing into their own reflections and stop being all around snobs to men who merely say "Hello" to them in public, and they'd solve that problem. The other day I had the 'audacity' to say "Hello" to a vaguely attractive woman in her late 20's who sat down beside me at the pub, purely innocent as well, as I myself am attached. Well, she just looked at me like I was a lunatic and/or a leper (and I'm not a bad looking guy if I do say so myself, at least my wife thinks I'm decent enough). That look she gave me said it all, "How dare you say anything to me, you're not fit to shine my shoes". Women really have to drop the attitude, and I think with women in their late 20's, it is really important, but unfortunately, they're still geared into what was mentioned in the article - that in their early 20's they are fawned allover by men of all demographics. Problem is, as they reach that 30 someting plateau, they've lost the lustre/sheen yet retained the bad attitude traits of a younger, snobbier, girl with the mindset of "I can have any man I want". It's pretty sad, but I think it's a reflection on popular culture. This trait seems to be more of a western world trait in women.

[activationproducts]

As much as I like Bernie's social commentary I must say that as a single male about to hit thirty who lacks the social skills for successful dating I find that it leaves me depressed as hell.