Posted on 06/13/2003 4:43:04 PM PDT by zencycler
Subject: I GOT YOUR FUCKING RANT RIGHT HERE!!!
To: blah-dl@qks.com ( that freak list from DC )
Date: Fri, 6 Oct 95 18:50:28 EDT
From: Jennifer Knipper
The damn roofers returned today -- but they decided to start early -- like at 6 a.m. which was precicly fifteen minutes after I had decided to go to bed. So I didn't get any fucking sleep and then I realized that I had left my bike down on campus Wednesday so I fucking realized that I had to WALK the whole way down there to get my goddamn bike and get it to work and I did that and I was listening to good music and that was a pretty decent thing. And then I get to work and it turns out that Scott is sik (which is fine people get sick -- I ALMOST did today) and so they beg and plead and ask me if I can work a few more hours I say sure why not I'd love to. Especially since I am fucking delerious and like driving in that state because it's a real surreal experience. So I drive and this is not a good thing to do when one is already in a p[issy mood bacuse PEOPLE HAVE NO *CLUE* How to drive... THEY THINK IT"S PERFECTLY FINE TO PULL OUT OF A DRIVEWAY INTO AN ONCOMING TRUCK... So I managed to break and honk my horn at the same time and I was pissy and it was llunch time so deliveries were slow so I chased the fucker all the way down main street to boulevard honking my horn the entire fucking way at the person. That was a good thing and made me feel a little more awake. And then I get back to work and two doors down from my office is the Headquarters for the Virginia Republican Party. First off I hate Republican (I hate democrats, independants, socialists anarchists etc... because it's just adhering to what someone else says) but republicans are particularly bad because they're powerful sheep. So they were having some sort of something and they were all standing out in front of the headquarters thinking about taxes or something when they should be working like real human beings and one of them oogles me... ok it's not bad to be looked at I look at people and heel if they're actually attractive enough I might actually have a momentary fantasy about us nekkid and well rested and exerting energy from all that well-restedness, but I do NOT FUCKING WHISTLE UNDER MY BREATH AS THEY ARE PASSING BY (shouting "nice ass" is always an exception) and I am looking at this person knowing that they are picturing me nekkid and well-rested, and damnit I don't WANT to know they're thinking that because they're a fucking bald republican that I wouldn't give the time of day to unless they had more hair were about 20 years younger and had a lot of money (because something would have to make up for the fact that they are proud of being a registered republican). And so I try to give them the hate stare and the moment I even thought about it I suddenly pictured this guy nekkid and this made me start laughing, but this ws not good because I have my period and was down to my last tampon. And I ended up sneezing and every woman knows what happens to a tampon when you sneeze so I was even more annoyed and tired and experiencing a completely surreal experience. And then I was driving down Broad and were all the Farrakkan people are instead were a bunch of poeple with FUCKING OJ SIMPSON SIGNS!!! Something like WHAT ABOUT THE SIMPSON KIDS???" and all I could think was yeah, what about the Simson kids. We all know Bart is going to turn into a Beavis and that Lisa is well on her way to being a goth, but was about Maggie will she go punk or follow in Lisa's footsteps -- but I;m worried about her beacuase it's been something like 8 years and she still sucks on a pacifier and has a growth problem -- but then some bus pulled out right in front of me and I began to hate busses. I wanted to get out of the damn truck and beat the shit out of a goddamn bus and I realized this would not be a good idea. So I get back to work with the happy thought that I only had an hour left before I could go home and crash for the evening -- when the power goes out and everything crashes and they need me to stay and extra hour (or so) and I just say yeah sure that's fine -- everything it starting to look like purple bunnies and the windows 95 start-up noise is the most ANNOYING DAMN THING EVER PUT ON A COMPUTER FOR THE SHEER POINTLESS SAKE OF MAKING IT SOUND COMPLICATED (i thought mac's were masters of that -- but I was wrong) and so finally they look at me slumped over in a chair eith this WHY THE FUCK AM I SITTING HERE WHEN THERE"S NOTHING AT ALL FOR ME TO DO AND ONE OF YOU CAN EASILY DROP OFF THE FED EX STUFF ON YOUR WAY HOME YOU STUPID IDIOTS!!!! Adn finally they get the clue and send me home. So I am riding home sitting there on my Bike and happy that hey I can go home and enver look at humanity for at least another 20 hours or so when these girls (read BITCHES) walk right in front of my bike with that "you'll have to swerve around us into oncoming traffic" look. THAT DID IT I HAD FUCKING HAD IT THESE FUCKING BITCHED WANTED ME DEAD!!! THEY WANTED TO LOOK COOL AND TOUGH TO EACH OTHER BY WALKING INTO THE PATH OF AN ONCOMING *BICYCLE* That was it I did not swerve and I kicked the girl's grocery bag as she ducked to get out of my way with this shocked look on her face that I did not swerve. YOU COULD HAVE SAT ON THE CURB FOR TWO SECONDS AND LET ME PASS BY YOU STUPID FUCK AND NOW YOUR GROCERIES ARE ALL OVER THE STREET AND YOU HAVE NO FUCKING WY OF GETTING THEM HOME HA_HA_AHA but all I did was jump of my bike and shout at the top of my fucking lungs "YOU FUCKING BITCH WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT!!!" Too which she looked more shocked and tried to think of something witty to come back with and all she could do was look at her cans and say "aaaaa you;re the bitch" (good one I bet you made it up all by yourself) and she made a move to get into a fight with me and I would have beaten the crap out of her and her little friend ToTo too I really fucking wanted to get into a fight the same way you feel in middle school when girl disses you and I was in that mental state where I think if a safe fell on my head I wouldn;t have felt anything (ahhh adrenaline!!!), but suddenly I realized that I was really tired and in heals -- so I pulled off slowly (giving her to opportunity to chase me if she wanted to) and all she did was start picking up her groceries and continue to call me a bitch. And then I got home to where my nice comfy bed was and realized that my confrontation with the bitch and her little friend ToTo had given my my upteenth thousandth wind of the night and now I can't fucking fall asleep... lsadhjgfasi;eyrwqoiefhs;ldnfas;ldnvosriuhft thankyouverymuch Jen (and if this doesn;t make the rant page I am going to start killing living things)
Actually, in my experience, what they REALLY want is women with penises.
They seem to hold all ELSE that makes a man a man in contempt. Quite pathetic females, if you ask me.
I like the fact that you put that so bluntly. You're absolutely right.
Very revealing although predictable.
Why don't you email your findings to the media?
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