Posted on 06/15/2003 10:39:14 AM PDT by Mister Magoo
Stay Safe !
It doesn't always disappear with marriage! And if it is the attitude formed above>>>Sianara! Adios! I am headed for the door. Will not "put out" before marriage.
Many people have speculated on this topic.
Shoe-on-other-foot time.
Back in the good old days, when men knew that dating and sex were rarely the same thing, I used to date quite a lot.
But one thing I never did was to let a relationship drag on, once I knew that the guy was getting a little too serious and there wasn't a chance I'd ever "catch up" to where he was. I considered it taking advantage for selfish reasons-- sure, I'd have something to do on Saturday night if I strung him along, but what *he* should have been doing is seeking someone who could return his feelings.
And I don't care what anyone says, you know early on if you can or can't return the feelings. The spark is there or it isn't.
Not wanting to get married after six months is one thing, but not being sure if a relationship is headed somewhere or just spinning its wheels, after six months? I don't buy it.
Afterall, if she really loved him, shouldn't she be willing to wait?
Wait for what? For him to marry her, or to first decide what he wants?
Regardless of her feelings, she'd be a fool to "wait" very long for someone who doesn't love her. She'd be better off "waiting" for someone else.
So is marriage to you only signatures on a piece of paper?
I agree. All we truly have is our honor and our word. If I was in a committed relationship and found out that my S.O. was unfaithful, my trust would be just as destroyed as if I were married.
FWIW, I would wonder about a guy who was celibate for 10 years. I would think in that time he would have found what he was looking for. But, if I did decide to get involved, I would easily call for some sort of comment either way by 6 months. You might not know if a given person was someone you could marry, but you would know for sure it this person wasn't right. And I would be very upfront with him that if we anre't in a committed relationship leading to marriage, that I would date others if I decided to.
As for myself, I plan on getting married, and having a family. I would like to not marry someone who has had about 100 other men's penises like yours in her vagina before me, and I would like to share myself with only one other person. My wedding night and honeymoon will actually have some meaning to it, as well as my marriage. If you consider that weird, then I guess that's what I am--and proud of it.
Sorry to get so graphic, but I think you really should take this a little bit more seriously than what you are and consider the consequences. I would not associate myself with the gentlemen in his article, who seems to, at least based on what was said, not want to have sex at all. Those of us who are waiting to have such a relationship with that one person certainly do want to have sex--just at the right time (believe me, we do--if you hung out at the fraternity house at my college you'd know this--some of the guys who are married come in and try to make us jealous). I don't think "celibate" is a correct term to use. We are going to be sexually active (very active, I would hope), but only with our mates for life--at the right time, and for the right reasons. Sex is not just for physical gratification--it is supposed to be an expression of true love, and a process which has the potential to create new life--obviously a very serious thing.
I did not mean to write a dissertation, and I hope I haven't turned you off, but for you to just simply dismiss us as "weird" prompted me to respond. I hope you will at least think about what I have had to say. Take care--RW.
Where to begin on this one... Firstly, I must admit that Mr. Washington does indeed come across a quite the pompous ass, and his female friend was quite right in leaving after six months when he could not assure her of his intentions. If he was not intending to marry her, she was well within her rights to seek out someone who had such intentions in mind, instead of always sensing that the sands in her hourglass of prime childbearing years were being drained away for no worthwhile result.
For those of you who have read some of My previous postings, you may recall that I had some rather... intense experiences with an ex, but it was really quite a few years ago. What the majority of you do not know, is that some four and a half years after My ex and I went our separate ways, I found the most wonderful lady imaginable. However, due to the bad memories that My ex had left Me with, I actually only briefly spoke with her for about six months before we started going out with each other. I did not wish to get involved with anyone, and I had to battle continually not to see her any more than I did -although I was fighting My feelings at the time to see more and more of her. We discussed this together later on, and she confessed to Me that I did not immediately attempt to become involved, and instead worked on actually talking to her and getting to know her better made Me incredibly interesting to her. I could easily write several pages here in simply reminiscing over all our wonderful times, but that would merely take up bandwidth to no avail. Let Me sum it all up by saying instead... that sometimes God gifts us with a candle of a soul to walk beside us for a time, to hold the lonely darkness at bay by their bright presence, and too often we do not realize until too late the joy they made of our too-brief time on the same path.
She has been gone now from this world for over thirteen years, and I have loved no other since.
Am I celibate? In a manner of speaking. Is it by choice? At first, yes, but the last several years have left Me open to the possibility of another to be in My life. As far as sleeping with others; I am not interested. With the one I eventually choose to spend the rest of My life with, yes. A casual fling or a one-night-stand hold no interest for Me. I would much rather wait and give the totality of My love and affection for a true soul and good, that will unhesitatingly return the same to Me.
Don't get Me wrong; I love women. But I am unwilling to become intimate with someone who might not be there the next day despite the sharing of our souls. Better to invest My intents on someone of quality, that holds My interests of value in return. I know she is out there, somewhere. But if she does not arrive before My time on this plane is through... at least I have known that one pure love once. No one else can ever compare, but to find one that is at least close to what My love meant to Me is all I ask. But I do not think I would ever spend six months waiting and not give her any indication of My intents, or at least inform her that I needed more time to reflect upon things before I could give her an answer.
I talked to two people today, both said they were voting for Bush. Bush therefore wins 100% of the vote. Stunning landslide.
Ummm... Excuse Me, love. Count Me as one who has no problem with an intelligent woman thank you very much.
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